I agree a money tree is not a good idea.. One idea is that if you don't put any registry information on the invite people will probably ask your mother/ sister what you need and maybe they can politely mention gift cards for future items or that you are doing cloth diapers (i found most people just gave me money instead of trying to find the new cloth diapers as the best place to find around where I live is on the internet). Again I'm aware this doesn't go with being proper and all that but seriously don't stress, chances are the people coming to your shower want whats best for you..not if you followed Emily's Post to a tee.
ps.. I found great deals on cloth diapers on Craigslist. Hope this helps.
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car seat and stroller (or if not a stroller, then a sling of some sorts)
wipes
blankets
etc, etc
Go ahead and register for what you need (at Walmart or Target). Then maybe people will also buy gift cards for those places that you can use for other things.... Also, you could register at the place that you plan to buy your CD's at??
Yes, I do expect you to go without sex as long as you can't financially support a baby. Why? Because porn and sex toys are a hell of a lot cheaper than supporting a baby. My BF's h was unemployed for 2 years as well and even though they were both dx with INFERTILITY ISSUES they had already had one miracle baby and didn't want another one until he had a job and they were more stable.
Other things you can can cut to help pay bills that do not affect the safety of your child. 1) Internet and cable 2)eating out 3)name-brand products 4)a second car 5)any professional services (mani/pedi's, hair stylists/salons, etc).
You say you don't need one, but then when someone questions you, you backpedal and say "well, we're saving up for a pack 'n play". Yeah, guess what---you can register for it and someone can buy it for you instead of having to hand over cash so you can go buy one.
Anyone who REALLY knows you and your situation (Which is just who you're inviting to this shower, right? I mean, you're only inviting your nearest and dearest and not everyone in the city to your money tree fundraiser) will probably get you the necessities.
But where are my manners, you asked for a poem---let me see if I can whip one out for you....
Times are hard, the economy's rough,
But holding out on peen was really mighty tough
So I gave in regularly without a care
But I was on the pill, :stomp: it's just not fair!
What 1%, It won't be me
Then what on my soaking hpt did I see?
A second pink line---oh ***---what the hell?
In my uterus a baby does dwell!
So now it's your duty to pass by the store
I don't want your dresses, your shoes, your blankets and more
You and your 'sposies can go in the trash
What I'm asking for is your cold, hard-earned cash
Your singles, your fivers, your tens and what's more
Your twenties would be perfect just dumped on my floor!
So raid your pockets, your piggies, your bank account too
Cause nothing but cold dirty money will do.
I know it seems tacky, it might not sit right
But I'll give you my sob story if you'll give me all night
If you can't make it to my shower, it's fine
I'll send you my paypal info, you can donate online!
Before I go, I have one more simple request
Because I love my baby, I know what is best
Skip by the cards, I don't want them as well
If you'd buy me a book, I'd think that'd be swell.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
okay this seemed a little harsh. but at the same time the poem made me laugh my ass off.
Admitting you laughed openly will cleanse your soul.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I agree that I wouldn't ask for money or mention it anywhere on the invitation. Even if you did, the fact is people LOVE buying baby gear and you're going to get a bunch of it. I don't think it's bad if your relatives who are throwing the shower let people know by word of mouth that you have most of the essentials/basics/clothing already but could use, say, gift cards for things that may come up later. I think that's a fair compromise.
And if you can register online for cloth diapers and supplies, that's great! Your relatives can put the website for the registry as an insert in the invitation.
No matter what you do, most people are going to give you baby stuff because people LOVE buying baby stuff! Some will give you gift cards, some will give you cash. It may even be that some people who know you're pregnant have already bought gifts and are just waiting to give them to you. So...better to not offend anyone or make them feel uncomfortable by asking for money.
P.S. REGISTER! As others have said, even just a small registry. And I know you mentioned saving up for a pack 'n' play type thing for naps and such...why not put it on a registry? Maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't, but it's the sort of thing a few people could go in on and it would save you a lot of money.
P.P.S I also COMPLETELY agree with the poster who pointed out that asking for cash could put others who are not in a great financial state in an awkward position and I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that. That was an excellent point.
You can register at amazon.com and they have a universal registry. Which means you can go to any website and add what you want. My friend had a money tree decoration sitting out (she didn't have a baby shower, just invited people to an open house after baby was born for close friends and family only) but honestly there was maybe $40 on it. I received some cash at the baby shower which we are going to put in a saving account for LO. Just register at amazon.com and save yourself the headache. Good Luck with everything. Mine was also unplanned but it turned out to be the greatest surprise of my life!
We were broke when our first son came rather unexpectantly. My friends/family threw us a shower. I registered for the necessities and then after my shower my mom came over and we went through all the stuff to figure out what we NEEDED, and what was "extra" we took all the extra back, and put the money on gift cards so when we needed something unexpectedly later on, we could use it. (even if that meant that we needed to buy some groceries that week, etc) People who WANT to give you money, will give you money. People who WANT to give you gift cards, will do that-- even walmart and target giftcards can be used to buy groceries, medicines, used at the pharmacy, gas, etc.
This may be the best way to go. Sorry you are getting such snarky comments. I think people often type what they would never say in person. Good luck, I hope things turn around soon.
We were broke when our first son came rather unexpectantly. My friends/family threw us a shower. I registered for the necessities and then after my shower my mom came over and we went through all the stuff to figure out what we NEEDED, and what was "extra" we took all the extra back, and put the money on gift cards so when we needed something unexpectedly later on, we could use it. (even if that meant that we needed to buy some groceries that week, etc) People who WANT to give you money, will give you money. People who WANT to give you gift cards, will do that-- even walmart and target giftcards can be used to buy groceries, medicines, used at the pharmacy, gas, etc.
This may be the best way to go. Sorry you are getting such snarky comments. I think people often type what they would never say in person. Good luck, I hope things turn around soon.
We were broke when our first son came rather unexpectantly. My friends/family threw us a shower. I registered for the necessities and then after my shower my mom came over and we went through all the stuff to figure out what we NEEDED, and what was "extra" we took all the extra back, and put the money on gift cards so when we needed something unexpectedly later on, we could use it. (even if that meant that we needed to buy some groceries that week, etc) People who WANT to give you money, will give you money. People who WANT to give you gift cards, will do that-- even walmart and target giftcards can be used to buy groceries, medicines, used at the pharmacy, gas, etc.
This may be the best way to go. Sorry you are getting such snarky comments. I think people often type what they would never say in person. Good luck, I hope things turn around soon.
Speak for yourself. If some completely random person came up to me on the street and said "I was having sex using a highly unreliable birth control method while we were in a financial clusterfluck and I got pregnant. I don't trust that people will buy me what I want off my registry and am afraid they'll pick out a bunch of cute crap so I want to find a way to word on my invitations that they need to just give me cash. Now, I know it's tacky, so I'm going to ask that you don't make fun of me, but what kind of a magic poem can you cook up that will make it far less greedy when I ask people to empty their wallets for me?
I would laugh openly in their face and tell them about WIC, about different avenues for assistance they could go for and tell them that it's tacky as hell to tell people that you don't trust them to come up with a practical present and just to hand over cash. Then I'd laugh some more and if they insisted, come up with a little magic poem.
For the rest of you, I'm glad you enjoyed my little lyrical adventure.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
We were broke when our first son came rather unexpectantly. My friends/family threw us a shower. I registered for the necessities and then after my shower my mom came over and we went through all the stuff to figure out what we NEEDED, and what was "extra" we took all the extra back, and put the money on gift cards so when we needed something unexpectedly later on, we could use it. (even if that meant that we needed to buy some groceries that week, etc) People who WANT to give you money, will give you money. People who WANT to give you gift cards, will do that-- even walmart and target giftcards can be used to buy groceries, medicines, used at the pharmacy, gas, etc.
This may be the best way to go. Sorry you are getting such snarky comments. Ithink people often type what they would never say in person. Good luck, I hope things turn around soon.
Nope, if anyone came up to me with some tacktastic idea and asked me what I thought, they'd get the same answers. They know that if they just want to be told "yes, that's a fantastic idea", I'm not the person they come to, if they want actual honesty, I'm your girl.
ETA: And I really don't mean to be snarky here, but if you're SO broke that you have to "save up" for a $50 pack-n-play, and you can't even afford a crib so your baby can sleep safely, you should SERIOUSLY consider making an adoption plan and giving your child a chance at a better life. You obviously do not have the financial means to raise a child right now.
Over the line. It is unnecessarily harsh to judge someone's ability to parent based on a poor shower decision.
Wow, give the woman a break. It is unreasonable to tell her that she should put her baby up for adoption because she would prefer cash over gifts. It may be in poor taste to ask for money, but remember that she hasn't actually ASKED for money. All she did was pose a question, and it's clear that everyone agrees that a money tree is in poor taste. I agree.
Have any of you seen a person ahead of you in line at the supermarket, holding a child, and paying with food stamps? I have. Have any of you started yelling at this person in public about what a bad parent they are? I don't think so.
Some practical advice- if you register at a store that accepts returns, you can register for cute stuff that you think people will want to buy for you, and go back and exchange them for necessities. You can even use the credit for toothpaste and toilet paper if you want to.
You CAN register for cloth diapers. I registered at diapers.com.
Also-MH and I are in the same situation as you and your DH, but I would NEVER ask for money.
thanks, I'll have to check that out. The only reason I would hesitate to do something like that is I know most of my family would rather give me something that day (even if it is money) than ordering stuff from online.
But I agree with PP's. This is your baby, you are going to have to be responsible for it. I have two, and got preg on the pill with both. DH was really sick last year and just when we started to get back on our feet, the rug got ripped out from under us. But we work hard and make sure that WE can afford the essentials for our kids. Yes family helps, but we never ask for it.
While PP has a point with state and government help, it can take a while for the application process just to be denied. But apply anyway and you will get help down the line.
To make a long winded post short, don't ask family and friends for money. Best of luck to you.
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You CAN register for cloth diapers. I registered at diapers.com.
Also-MH and I are in the same situation as you and your DH, but I would NEVER ask for money.
thanks, I'll have to check that out. The only reason I would hesitate to do something like that is I know most of my family would rather give me something that day (even if it is money) than ordering stuff from online.
But I agree with PP's. This is your baby, you are going to have to be responsible for it. I have two, and got preg on the pill with both. DH was really sick last year and just when we started to get back on our feet, the rug got ripped out from under us. But we work hard and make sure that WE can afford the essentials for our kids. Yes family helps, but we never ask for it.
While PP has a point with state and government help, it can take a while for the application process just to be denied. But apply anyway and you will get help down the line.
To make a long winded post short, don't ask family and friends for money. Best of luck to you.
I thought your internet privileges had been taken away
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You CAN register for cloth diapers. I registered at diapers.com.
Also-MH and I are in the same situation as you and your DH, but I would NEVER ask for money.
thanks, I'll have to check that out. The only reason I would hesitate to do something like that is I know most of my family would rather give me something that day (even if it is money) than ordering stuff from online.
But I agree with PP's. This is your baby, you are going to have to be responsible for it. I have two, and got preg on the pill with both. DH was really sick last year and just when we started to get back on our feet, the rug got ripped out from under us. But we work hard and make sure that WE can afford the essentials for our kids. Yes family helps, but we never ask for it.
While PP has a point with state and government help, it can take a while for the application process just to be denied. But apply anyway and you will get help down the line.
To make a long winded post short, don't ask family and friends for money. Best of luck to you.
Cherokee, you can't even get your kid on your medical insurance in a timely manner.
You CAN register for cloth diapers. I registered at diapers.com.
Also-MH and I are in the same situation as you and your DH, but I would NEVER ask for money.
thanks, I'll have to check that out. The only reason I would hesitate to do something like that is I know most of my family would rather give me something that day (even if it is money) than ordering stuff from online.
But I agree with PP's. This is your baby, you are going to have to be responsible for it. I have two, and got preg on the pill with both. DH was really sick last year and just when we started to get back on our feet, the rug got ripped out from under us. But we work hard and make sure that WE can afford the essentials for our kids. Yes family helps, but we never ask for it.
While PP has a point with state and government help, it can take a while for the application process just to be denied. But apply anyway and you will get help down the line.
To make a long winded post short, don't ask family and friends for money. Best of luck to you.
Cherokee, you can't even get your kid on your medical insurance in a timely manner.
You don't know shiit about me. Please don't pretend that you do. I didn't post on your precious BOTB, so you can fvck off now. Kthanks.
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By the way, have you gotten in contact with any local churches? I know many of them (including several I have been part of) constantly take in donations for essential items -- bottles, diapers, blankets, clothing, etc. -- to give to needy families in the community. A quick call to a few parishes (even if you're not religious) can help you a lot.
As for wanting practical items, you can register for cloth diapers even at Target and Babies R Us (even though it's available online only). Anything you don't need can be returned at those stores for credit you can use to buy cloth diapers and anything else more essential.
Do NOT ask for money, no matter how you attempt to make it cute, it's still rude.
Married 5-24-2008;
BFP 4-19-11. Ezri Ana born on due date, Dec 30 2011! My Ovulation Chart
+1 on not asking for money. Even if you are positive that people won't be offended- they will. Some friends and I just checked out a registery for another friend and it is just a registry for money 'towards things they want'. I'd never seen that and I can assure you that everyone is talking about it- probably not to their faces. One option is to include a few giftcards on your registery (target, walmart, etc). then you can possibly use them for groceries and other needed supplies and then guests who maybe know your situation and want to give money can do so without pressure.
However, I do think you should pursue gov't financial assitance. My dearest friend was 3 months from delivering her baby when she lost her job and the baby's father left her for another woman- total disaster. She'd never been in a situation like that before. She moved back in with her parents and got some assistance (form of food stamps and welfare). She was mortified to do it, but it was a temporary thing, helped her through a tough situation, allowed her to raise her baby and get some footing so that she could get back to work when he was a few months old. I really admired how she swallowed her pride and did that.
Best of luck to you and your baby. I hope the employment thing works out and that you are all solidly back on your feet soon.
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No don't ask for money. Just move in with your mom and free load. Also make sure you ask your mom for a diaper pale and sign up for insurance within 30 days of giving birth.
No don't ask for money. Just move in with your mom and free load. Also make sure you ask your mom for a diaper pale and sign up for insurance within 30 days of giving birth.
And please ask your husband for permission before posting on the internet.
I don't understand why everyone is so mean on these boards. I totally understand your situation. Babies R Us has some cloth diapers that you could register for - just saw some the other night while I perused the aisles. Just register for the things that you really need and maybe on the invites I would write "No outfits please, baby has plenty". Maybe some people would hear through the grapevine that you already had a ton donated to you and you can't fit any extra - that is the excuse I would use. And I'm sure once everything off your registry is purchased people will just give you money in a card or some gift cards.
To be honest I don't want people giving me clothes at my shower just because I probably won't like what they have to pick out. But you can always ask for a gift receipt (later just say the outfit didn't fit or something) and return the stuff you don't like. Most of the time stores will give you cash back if you have a gift receipt and tags still on the clothes.
Do not write anything about a money tree though. It will throw people off and they will just think that you want money.
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I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
Many people on this thread are blaming this woman for being
irresponsible and expecting friends and family to step up and finance
her irresponsible pregnancy. I don't know how anybody interpreted it
this way. Her family is throwing her a shower because they want to give her gifts
She is not expecting anything, BUT, if people are going to give her a
gift anyway, she would much prefer it to be cash over a baby swing. Yes,
I agree it's in poor taste, but it's not a sign that she is a derelict
mother. The fact that she would like for people to bring cash instead of a gift
may be tacky, but it does not suggest that she has no idea how they are
going to manage a baby financially. It seems like she and her husband
are working hard to save up and figure out creative ways to be frugal.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
Mysterious, I'm not sure what you mean.
This site is geared to expecting mothers, women TTC, and those with young children. There are very few mothers on here with kids who can read.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
Mysterious, I'm not sure what you mean.
This site is geared to expecting mothers, women TTC, and those with young children. There are very few mothers on here with kids who can read.
Oh, really? I didn't realize that. Is this a first time mom board? I thought this was just posted under the "baby shower" board. I assumed that plenty of women who are pregnant also have other children. What makes you think women on this site don't have young readers? In any case, I don't see why it would crack you up either way.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
Mysterious, I'm not sure what you mean.
This site is geared to expecting mothers, women TTC, and those with young children. There are very few mothers on here with kids who can read.
Oh, really? I didn't realize that. Is this a first time mom board? I thought this was just posted under the "baby shower" board. I assumed that plenty of women who are pregnant also have other children. What makes you think women on this site don't have young readers? In any case, I don't see why it would crack you up either way.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
You should have a meet the baby party and have a money tree. Those YBCR programs are EXPENSIVE!
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
Mysterious, I'm not sure what you mean.
This site is geared to expecting mothers, women TTC, and those with young children. There are very few mothers on here with kids who can read.
Oh, really? I didn't realize that. Is this a first time mom board? I thought this was just posted under the "baby shower" board. I assumed that plenty of women who are pregnant also have other children. What makes you think women on this site don't have young readers? In any case, I don't see why it would crack you up either way.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope
that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning
life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
Mysterious, I'm not sure what you mean.
This site is geared to expecting mothers, women TTC, and those with young children. There are very few mothers on here with kids who can read.
Oh, really? I didn't realize that. Is this a first time mom board? I thought this was just posted under the "baby shower" board. I assumed that plenty of women who are pregnant also have other children. What makes you think women on this site don't have young readers? In any case, I don't see why it would crack you up either way.
You are clearly dumber than I thought.
My gosh, is this the norm on this website? I guess I'm done with thebump.com.
Re: Money Tree at a Shower?
I agree a money tree is not a good idea.. One idea is that if you don't put any registry information on the invite people will probably ask your mother/ sister what you need and maybe they can politely mention gift cards for future items or that you are doing cloth diapers (i found most people just gave me money instead of trying to find the new cloth diapers as the best place to find around where I live is on the internet). Again I'm aware this doesn't go with being proper and all that but seriously don't stress, chances are the people coming to your shower want whats best for you..not if you followed Emily's Post to a tee.
ps.. I found great deals on cloth diapers on Craigslist. Hope this helps.
Go ahead and register.
There are a few things you will need, regardless:
car seat and stroller (or if not a stroller, then a sling of some sorts)
wipes
blankets
etc, etc
Go ahead and register for what you need (at Walmart or Target). Then maybe people will also buy gift cards for those places that you can use for other things.... Also, you could register at the place that you plan to buy your CD's at??
Yes, I do expect you to go without sex as long as you can't financially support a baby. Why? Because porn and sex toys are a hell of a lot cheaper than supporting a baby. My BF's h was unemployed for 2 years as well and even though they were both dx with INFERTILITY ISSUES they had already had one miracle baby and didn't want another one until he had a job and they were more stable.
Other things you can can cut to help pay bills that do not affect the safety of your child. 1) Internet and cable 2)eating out 3)name-brand products 4)a second car 5)any professional services (mani/pedi's, hair stylists/salons, etc).
You say you don't need one, but then when someone questions you, you backpedal and say "well, we're saving up for a pack 'n play". Yeah, guess what---you can register for it and someone can buy it for you instead of having to hand over cash so you can go buy one.
Anyone who REALLY knows you and your situation (Which is just who you're inviting to this shower, right? I mean, you're only inviting your nearest and dearest and not everyone in the city to your money tree fundraiser) will probably get you the necessities.
But where are my manners, you asked for a poem---let me see if I can whip one out for you....
Times are hard, the economy's rough,
But holding out on peen was really mighty tough
So I gave in regularly without a care
But I was on the pill, :stomp: it's just not fair!
What 1%, It won't be me
Then what on my soaking hpt did I see?
A second pink line---oh ***---what the hell?
In my uterus a baby does dwell!
So now it's your duty to pass by the store
I don't want your dresses, your shoes, your blankets and more
You and your 'sposies can go in the trash
What I'm asking for is your cold, hard-earned cash
Your singles, your fivers, your tens and what's more
Your twenties would be perfect just dumped on my floor!
So raid your pockets, your piggies, your bank account too
Cause nothing but cold dirty money will do.
I know it seems tacky, it might not sit right
But I'll give you my sob story if you'll give me all night
If you can't make it to my shower, it's fine
I'll send you my paypal info, you can donate online!
Before I go, I have one more simple request
Because I love my baby, I know what is best
Skip by the cards, I don't want them as well
If you'd buy me a book, I'd think that'd be swell.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Admitting you laughed openly will cleanse your soul.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Balls for the win!
(or for the lose, if you're using them to get knocked up when you can't afford a kid!)
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
Breastfeeding and pregnant!
I agree that I wouldn't ask for money or mention it anywhere on the invitation. Even if you did, the fact is people LOVE buying baby gear and you're going to get a bunch of it. I don't think it's bad if your relatives who are throwing the shower let people know by word of mouth that you have most of the essentials/basics/clothing already but could use, say, gift cards for things that may come up later. I think that's a fair compromise.
And if you can register online for cloth diapers and supplies, that's great! Your relatives can put the website for the registry as an insert in the invitation.
No matter what you do, most people are going to give you baby stuff because people LOVE buying baby stuff! Some will give you gift cards, some will give you cash. It may even be that some people who know you're pregnant have already bought gifts and are just waiting to give them to you. So...better to not offend anyone or make them feel uncomfortable by asking for money.
P.S. REGISTER! As others have said, even just a small registry. And I know you mentioned saving up for a pack 'n' play type thing for naps and such...why not put it on a registry? Maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't, but it's the sort of thing a few people could go in on and it would save you a lot of money.
P.P.S I also COMPLETELY agree with the poster who pointed out that asking for cash could put others who are not in a great financial state in an awkward position and I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that. That was an excellent point.
Good luck.
This may be the best way to go. Sorry you are getting such snarky comments. I think people often type what they would never say in person. Good luck, I hope things turn around soon.
This may be the best way to go. Sorry you are getting such snarky comments. I think people often type what they would never say in person. Good luck, I hope things turn around soon.
Speak for yourself. If some completely random person came up to me on the street and said "I was having sex using a highly unreliable birth control method while we were in a financial clusterfluck and I got pregnant. I don't trust that people will buy me what I want off my registry and am afraid they'll pick out a bunch of cute crap so I want to find a way to word on my invitations that they need to just give me cash. Now, I know it's tacky, so I'm going to ask that you don't make fun of me, but what kind of a magic poem can you cook up that will make it far less greedy when I ask people to empty their wallets for me?
I would laugh openly in their face and tell them about WIC, about different avenues for assistance they could go for and tell them that it's tacky as hell to tell people that you don't trust them to come up with a practical present and just to hand over cash. Then I'd laugh some more and if they insisted, come up with a little magic poem.
For the rest of you, I'm glad you enjoyed my little lyrical adventure.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Nope, if anyone came up to me with some tacktastic idea and asked me what I thought, they'd get the same answers. They know that if they just want to be told "yes, that's a fantastic idea", I'm not the person they come to, if they want actual honesty, I'm your girl.
Over the line. It is unnecessarily harsh to judge someone's ability to parent based on a poor shower decision.
Wow, give the woman a break. It is unreasonable to tell her that she should put her baby up for adoption because she would prefer cash over gifts. It may be in poor taste to ask for money, but remember that she hasn't actually ASKED for money. All she did was pose a question, and it's clear that everyone agrees that a money tree is in poor taste. I agree.
Have any of you seen a person ahead of you in line at the supermarket, holding a child, and paying with food stamps? I have. Have any of you started yelling at this person in public about what a bad parent they are? I don't think so.
Some practical advice- if you register at a store that accepts returns, you can register for cute stuff that you think people will want to buy for you, and go back and exchange them for necessities. You can even use the credit for toothpaste and toilet paper if you want to.
Target has cloth diapers too.
https://www.target.com/s?keywords=cloth+diapers&searchNodeID=1038576|1287991011&ref=sr_bx_1_1&x=0&y=0
But I agree with PP's. This is your baby, you are going to have to be responsible for it. I have two, and got preg on the pill with both. DH was really sick last year and just when we started to get back on our feet, the rug got ripped out from under us. But we work hard and make sure that WE can afford the essentials for our kids. Yes family helps, but we never ask for it.
While PP has a point with state and government help, it can take a while for the application process just to be denied. But apply anyway and you will get help down the line.
To make a long winded post short, don't ask family and friends for money. Best of luck to you.
I thought your internet privileges had been taken away
Cherokee, you can't even get your kid on your medical insurance in a timely manner.
You don't know shiit about me. Please don't pretend that you do. I didn't post on your precious BOTB, so you can fvck off now. Kthanks.
By the way, have you gotten in contact with any local churches? I know many of them (including several I have been part of) constantly take in donations for essential items -- bottles, diapers, blankets, clothing, etc. -- to give to needy families in the community. A quick call to a few parishes (even if you're not religious) can help you a lot.
As for wanting practical items, you can register for cloth diapers even at Target and Babies R Us (even though it's available online only). Anything you don't need can be returned at those stores for credit you can use to buy cloth diapers and anything else more essential.
Do NOT ask for money, no matter how you attempt to make it cute, it's still rude.
BFP 4-19-11. Ezri Ana born on due date, Dec 30 2011!
My Ovulation Chart
+1 on not asking for money. Even if you are positive that people won't be offended- they will. Some friends and I just checked out a registery for another friend and it is just a registry for money 'towards things they want'. I'd never seen that and I can assure you that everyone is talking about it- probably not to their faces. One option is to include a few giftcards on your registery (target, walmart, etc). then you can possibly use them for groceries and other needed supplies and then guests who maybe know your situation and want to give money can do so without pressure.
However, I do think you should pursue gov't financial assitance. My dearest friend was 3 months from delivering her baby when she lost her job and the baby's father left her for another woman- total disaster. She'd never been in a situation like that before. She moved back in with her parents and got some assistance (form of food stamps and welfare). She was mortified to do it, but it was a temporary thing, helped her through a tough situation, allowed her to raise her baby and get some footing so that she could get back to work when he was a few months old. I really admired how she swallowed her pride and did that.
Best of luck to you and your baby. I hope the employment thing works out and that you are all solidly back on your feet soon.
And please ask your husband for permission before posting on the internet.
I don't understand why everyone is so mean on these boards. I totally understand your situation. Babies R Us has some cloth diapers that you could register for - just saw some the other night while I perused the aisles. Just register for the things that you really need and maybe on the invites I would write "No outfits please, baby has plenty". Maybe some people would hear through the grapevine that you already had a ton donated to you and you can't fit any extra - that is the excuse I would use. And I'm sure once everything off your registry is purchased people will just give you money in a card or some gift cards.
To be honest I don't want people giving me clothes at my shower just because I probably won't like what they have to pick out. But you can always ask for a gift receipt (later just say the outfit didn't fit or something) and return the stuff you don't like. Most of the time stores will give you cash back if you have a gift receipt and tags still on the clothes.
Do not write anything about a money tree though. It will throw people off and they will just think that you want money.
I am amazed at how nasty some of you ladies have been. I should hope that your children are not looking over your shoulders and learning life lessons about how behave, even on the internet.
Many people on this thread are blaming this woman for being irresponsible and expecting friends and family to step up and finance her irresponsible pregnancy. I don't know how anybody interpreted it this way. Her family is throwing her a shower because they want to give her gifts She is not expecting anything, BUT, if people are going to give her a gift anyway, she would much prefer it to be cash over a baby swing. Yes, I agree it's in poor taste, but it's not a sign that she is a derelict mother. The fact that she would like for people to bring cash instead of a gift may be tacky, but it does not suggest that she has no idea how they are going to manage a baby financially. It seems like she and her husband are working hard to save up and figure out creative ways to be frugal.
These replies crack me up.
I am sorry I never bought "Your Baby Can Read" so my kid is behind in the game.
This site is geared to expecting mothers, women TTC, and those with young children. There are very few mothers on here with kids who can read.
Oh, really? I didn't realize that. Is this a first time mom board? I thought this was just posted under the "baby shower" board. I assumed that plenty of women who are pregnant also have other children. What makes you think women on this site don't have young readers? In any case, I don't see why it would crack you up either way.
Oh, really? I didn't realize that. Is this a first time mom board? I thought this was just posted under the "baby shower" board. I assumed that plenty of women who are pregnant also have other children. What makes you think women on this site don't have young readers? In any case, I don't see why it would crack you up either way.
You should have a meet the baby party and have a money tree. Those YBCR programs are EXPENSIVE!
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
You are clearly dumber than I thought.
My gosh, is this the norm on this website? I guess I'm done with thebump.com.