1st Trimester

Any other DH's like this?

So DH and I were not planning on the BFP just yet... I had literally just stopped BC and have fertility problems in the family so we figured a few months at best years at most.. well now he changes the subject when I try to talk about it with him. I'm 7weeks along and we are not telling 'people' till after the first tri. I know he is excited but I wish he would just talk to me about it. He told me not to go "baby crazy" till October... Ummm its July! I'm already crazy ;-)

Any other odd DH behavior out there?  

 


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Re: Any other DH's like this?

  • lildislildis
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    My dh is the same.  Every now & then he'll come out with something he's been thinking about for the baby, but otherwise it's usually me rambling.  

  • It sounds like it's still just sinking in for him. I'm sure he'll come around soon, especially after you hear the heartbeat or have an ultrasound!
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  • My husband never really connected with our first pregnancy until he felt the baby kick. He was excited and would talk about it from time-to-time but once he could connect with the baby it became very real for him.
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  • We were really excited and couldn't stop talking about it when I was pg in the winter, they we found out about the MMC at the first appt.  This time DH is not talking about it at all, I think it's just him trying not to get too excited again.

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  • image mbear511:
    My husband never really connected with our first pregnancy until he felt the baby kick. He was excited and would talk about it from time-to-time but once he could connect with the baby it became very real for him.

     This is how my husband was when I was pregnant with my DS. He would always start kicking at 5 am so I would press my belly against DH back and wake him up every morning. It was such a cool thing to share with him and definetly helped him feel more connected.

  • We were trying for about 6 months before my BFP. I was so so so excited to tell DH, and I didn't get the reaction I was hoping for. He also didn't want to talk about it for 2 or 3 weeks at all. I was very sad and disappointed. He's completely changed now, and even asked for "baby stuff" for his birthday, which is next week.

    I think it takes men a little more time for the news to sink in, especially if you weren't expecting your BFP so soon. Maybe finding a baby book written for men for him to read? DH reads his maybe once a week, and then tells me things he's learned. 

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  • image sunnyday016:
    It sounds like it's still just sinking in for him. I'm sure he'll come around soon, especially after you hear the heartbeat or have an ultrasound!

    When I told my DH we were pregnant I showed him the test stick & he said it didn't look pregnant.  I told him to go upstairs & read the directions for the test because that plus sign means pregnant.  Two days later I figured I'd have more HGH & possibly a darker plus sign so I tested again & showed it to him.  He said it still looked light to him.  I explained that light or dark, it's a plus sign instead of just 1 line.  Then today he asked me what day I was supposed to get my period.  I told him Monday. He looked surprised & said, "That's good since today is Thursday." I just laughed at him & shook my head.  His response was, "Well I guess the Dr. will tell us for sure."    

    He's excited & interested when I talk about our pregnancy, making plans for the baby & what to expect in the next few weeks.  But, I get the feeling that it hasn't quite sinked in yet & he doesn't want to be too excited in case something goes wrong since it's so early. 

     

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  • When I first got out bfp mine said he wanted to wait until Christmas to tell his daughter who is 7, I'm due in February. I love him but dang! We were the same as far as not planning our bfp to come so soon so we both were pleasantly surprised. GL!
  • Yep, exactly the same!! We just had our NT scan and that was the time we could get excited, but he is still reserved!!!! I'm hoping after we tell our parents this weekend he will open up. I, however, have the bedding picked out, the stroller selected, and the daycare app in.
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  • I'm sure your DH is excited, but think about it from his perspective - really, nothing about his day-to-day life has changed.  You're not showing, he's not the one experiencing any symptoms, etc.  I'm sure he will come around when you get a little bit further along.
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  • I would just give him time for it to really sink in.  Seeing the little one at the first U/S and then telling everyone will make it more real for him.

    I know it is hard when he is not sharing your excitement though.  Maybe confide in one friend that you know will be there to talk all about it with you.

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  • I totally understand. This is our third and we weren't TTC. We were on BC. We hasn't completely shut the door on a third, but honestly when we found out it was a very mixed emotions for both of us. I think I came around more quickly than he has. I know it has been hard for him to accept that we won't be our "perfect" family of four much longer. I always thought I would have 2-3 kids, but after having 2 I think I had started thinking we were done, especially having one of each. We gace away or sold almost all of our baby stuff. We are pretty much starting all over. And DH hasn't shown much excitement, although I think he is trying. Seeing the HB on the u/s yesterday helped, and I think talking about names helped. Plus our older two are very excited and happy about it, which is another plus.I just think DH worries about paying for college, day care costs (we both work FT), having a big enough car, etc. I try to calm his nerves about this, but he is a "saver" and was thinking we would be done with day care in a couple years whereas now it is like 6 more years. I am actually glad to hear that other DHs aren't doing cartwheels every day and spending their days shopping at BRU :) Makes our situation feel a bit more normal!
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  • image amos2006:

    We were really excited and couldn't stop talking about it when I was pg in the winter, they we found out about the MMC at the first appt.  This time DH is not talking about it at all, I think it's just him trying not to get too excited again.

    Same here - I just got my BFP but my DH isn't talking about it or anything. I too think that he is just trying not to get excited since I've had m/c's

  • I have read that this is a common problem... DH's have trouble feeling connected to the baby when they can't see/feel it. I bet after your first U/S and especially when you start showing he will start getting into it! At least that's what I'm hoping...
    "When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies." -J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
  • I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with a DH acting odd. I know "his" day to day life hasn't changed... yet... he couldnt go to my first apt. Where they did the trasnvaginal ultra sound to date and 'show' the heart beat but I'll bring him to the over the belly ultra sounds maybe he will get excited then... And sooner or later I'll have a big old belly for him to see and know we are really having a baby!  Thanks ladies! 

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  • image Tina272:

    I would just give him time for it to really sink in.  Seeing the little one at the first U/S and then telling everyone will make it more real for him.

    I know it is hard when he is not sharing your excitement though.  Maybe confide in one friend that you know will be there to talk all about it with you.

    My husband did the same thing until the 12-week ultrasound when it actually looked like a baby and we started telling everyone. Now he's totally into it! (picking out onsies, nursery decor, and baby names) I just talked to a couple close friends and my mom (that already knew) until he was ready. I think it's just hard for them because it doesn't feel like it's "real" until then, and they don't want to get too attached yet just in case. Ours happened really fast too, so there was also a period of shock before getting used to the idea of a real life baby on the way!

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  • My dh is the same.  I know that he'll be a wonderful dad (he's great with his 8 year old daughter), but he's not fired up right now.  A tad bit annoying.
    Angel baby, 7-25-11 @ 6w1d
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