South Florida Babies

*reiszspieces*

Okay, I really debated posting this because I really do not want to come off as rude or snarky in any way and I really don't want to make it seem like I'm calling you out or criticizing you. And I really hope that this doesn't turn into a post where people start judging you in a mean way...if it does, I'll delete it. But I am just really, really fascinated by your answer to the post below about how you and your husband don't believe in birth control and how you're not planning to take any precautions after this next baby is born even though your kids will be only 14 months apart. I have all the respect and admiration in the world for you just reading that because I only have one child who is 19 months old and I'm already going crazy and feel overwhlemed sometimes...I can't even imagine those of you out there who handle 2 under 2. And from the sounds of it, you could end up being a mom of 3 under 3 or even 4 under 4, etc.! Wow. Do you guys ever discuss having a stopping point, ever?! What about after your 5th or 6th or 7th or 8th child? Would you consider birth control then?

Again, I really hope this doesn't come off the wrong way and I am only asking because since you posted about it, I figured it was something you were comfortable talking about. The whole thing is just so intriguing to me. Since I was a little girl I always wanted a huge family and I used to tell my mom that I was going to have 8 kids but now that I'm an adult and reality struck, I can't even imagine how that would be logistically possible for me and my family. I can't stress enough how admirable I find it that you and your husband intend to stick to that plan even though we all know it's not the most practical thing to do in this day in age with how our society works.

P.S. I'm also sorry if I'm being really ignorant about this whole thing. Maybe the majority of women who don't believe in birth control don't end up having that many kids anyway. I've just never "met" someone in real life who plans to have as many kids as they end up getting pregnant with while not doing anything to prevent pregnancy. This is strictly Michelle Duggar territory for me (and sorry if that comparison offends you but it's the only example I can think of off the top of my head...I'm not implying anything negative by mentioning her).

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Re: *reiszspieces*

  • butting in... we haven't used any type of birth control since I got pregnant in March of 2005 and dont plan on using any anytime soon. It doesnt necessarily have anything to do with our faith (although we do believe that God has a plan for our family). We dont a bazillion kids, nothing even close to the Duggars and we dont plan (as of now) to ever get my tubes tied of getting my husband snipped. Not using birth control doesnt mean (at least not to us) that we cant "plan" on when we want to have babies. We know that at certain times of the month, we need to abstain or be careful but we are very open to having (several) more children if thats whats the plan for us.

    I hope this doesnt sound to crazy, I might not think the same though if all my kids were super close in age and that I was fertile myrtle.

  • Let me start out by saying that I am in no way offended and you're right, if I wasn't comfortable discussing it, I wouldn't have mention it on another post.  Secondly, I don't have all the answers, my husband and I've thought about what might happen if we have a ton of kids, but we're not there yet and it's silly to pretend you know how you're going to feel when something happens if you haven't experienced it yet.  That being said, I don't do the whole "birth control" thing for a number of reasons.  These may have me looking like a nut, but you asked, so here goes.  Lol

    God knows how many kids we're going to have and I figure he knows WAY better than I do what I can handle.

    I know a number of people who are on BC, trying desperately not to have kids, and end up pregnant.  I also know a ton of people who are desperately trying to get pregnant (naturally, IUI, IVF, etc.) who can't.  Who am I to try to fix the outcome one way or another.  I know how babies happen, yes, but ultimately it's not up to me if I get pregnant or not.  I really think that pregnancy and childbirth are a miracle and God is the only one I know in the business of miracles.

    My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.  It didn't take too long for me to get pregnant after we got married (5 months), and it didn't take long after that (3 months) for me to realize that just because you get pregnant doesn't mean you get to keep your baby.  That experience changed the way I view a lot in life.  I was pretty anti BC to start with, but after that, my views were only confirmed.  Children are such a huge blessing and I will forever miss the one I can't hold in my arms.  I can't wait until the day I get to see him/her and from now until then I'll try to appreciate to the fullest every child I have (and for me, that means not trying to prevent one either).

    I am not a fan of "safe sex" education, family planning clinics, or most other institutions that encourage the use of birth control pills, IUDs, or condoms (etc).  I refuse to support an industry that I think has wrong ideals and values.  I am well aware that many married couples use birth control as a valid means to prevent pregnancy and that is their decision and right.  I, however, have a right to spend my money how I see fit, and I do not see fit to increase the earnings of an industry that benefits from elicit behaviors, inappropriate lifestyle choices, and clueless teenagers.

    I, like you, always said I wanted a big family... and I still do.  As an adult now, I understand the financial woes that come with that, but having a child of my own now, I also see the huge benefits.  Kids are expensive, but really they are only as expensive as you let them be.  Society tells us that we have to buy them all the latest nicest things and then buy them a car when they turn 16 and then pay for their college too.  Definitely not going to happen in my house, but my kids will definitely be clothed and fed and have a family that loves them.  Those are the most important things... not a Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag or a Mamas and Papas stroller, and when their older, having a brand new pair of Jordans (or whatever sneaker is popular in 15 years, lol).  Goodwill is my best friend, and we manage to find some pretty awesome stuff for a fraction of the cost, but really, what they're wearing isn't important. 

    To be honest, the biggest expense we've run into so far is health insurance, and once you have one kid on your insurance plan, the premiums don't go up (thankfully) when you add another kid (or 6). 

    One other thing that helps, is that we have a very supportive family close by.  They think we're nuts for having 2 kids so close, but they are supportive none-the-less.  I can only imagine how hard it would be to have children (no matter how many or few kids) without some support from your family.  And my husband is wonderful too.  He is with me 100% on raising our child(ren) and is very active in spending time with our baby and helping around the house.  He is also very much on board with having as many or few children as God gives us.

    Another thing I wanted to mention... I am also unsure that we would ever use fertility treatments.  My husband started out this marriage adventure saying that we'd have how ever many kids God gave us.  Of course, I thought that meant we'd have a ton, but after my miscarriage I went through a lot of emotional weeks thinking that there was a possibility that God wasn't going to give us any children.  And I had to be ok with that too.

    Children are an accessory to many people and to us they're our life.  I have a job that I love very much, but I know that I'll have to give it up someday (maybe soon) and I'm completely ok with that because it's only a job, for me it's not a career.  I know that my purpose in life is to raise good and godly children and I am more excited about that than I ever could be about engineering, lol.

    I know that I have some interesting ideas, and that they are my own.  I am in no way suggesting that they are for everyone and I know that children are a very personal issue for everyone.  To anyone who's made it this far in this very long post, please don't take offense and feel free to think I'm a little crazy. :)

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