3rd Trimester

If you have a child and are having a scheduled c-set. question

I am trying to figure out what to do with DS. He is 3 and my parents live an hour away. I am sure my mother is planning to come help when the baby gets here but uhhhhh, I really want things to be easy and don't see how this is going to be. So starting with the day of delivery, my mother wants to be at the hospital but I am trying to explain that my paperwork says that I am to be in recovery alone with the baby and DH for 2 hours before any visitors may come. So would like her and my Dad to stay at my house with DS, or to take him to theirs.

I can only imagine being out of it and having DS come and see the baby and cry because he is leaving me in the hospital and then I am going to be pissed that I have to think of that...but I also want DS to come to the hospital at some point but would rather it be when I am more alert and it can just be DH, baby, DS, and I without anyone else.

Anyway, just wondering what your plans are if you have them! Thanks!

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Re: If you have a child and are having a scheduled c-set. question

  • DS will be with MIL most likely and she will bring him by later that day once we're situated and everything is going well. Then DH will probably take him home unless I really need DH to stay with me at the hospital. Or maybe I'll just have DH go pick DS up so it can just be the four of us for a little while before visitors come by (hopefully not until the next day)
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  • Thanks, Stac! I am getting very nervous about DS.

     

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  • Right now, if I make it to my RCS date, my mom will bring our 3 year old over a little before I head back to the OR, so that he can say good-bye and wait for mommy to have the baby. This step isn't necessary, but I would just like it....just in case I ...don't make it!....I know, that's terrible! But just one of those worst case scenarios...I think it would make more sense in his head. Also, the birth of my siblings never meant much to me because it was so out-of-sequence. I just always went over to see mom and new baby sometime after birth and I think it would have had more meaning if I had been a part of more steps....but that was 25-30 years ago, so I probably wouldn't have been allowed anyway!

    Then after the surgery, I will go to recovery and my husband will go with our newest son for all his new baby wellness and our older son and my mom can watch through the window. Once I am out of recovery, we can all go back to the room. 

    For the rest of the time, our oldest son will go home with my dad and step-mom and then come back everyday to visit. 

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  • When I had DS2, DS1 was 17 months old. He waited in the waiting room with my dad and my aunt while I was having my c-section. He came into my recovery room and then my hospital room and saw his brother right away. No problems at all. He stayed with my mom for the 4 nights I was in the hospital and she brought him every day to visit us (me, DH and DS2).

    Same plan for DS3. They will be in the waiting room while I have c-section. Visit me in recovery and then my room to meet their new brother. They willl stay with my mom again (at our house) and come and visit us (me, DH and DS3) everyday while we are in the hospital. DS1 and DS2 are so excited to meet their little brother - I don't see any need for them to wait. They know what is going on at 5 and 3 1/2 years old.

    It doesn't bother me at all if anyone else is there besides our immediate family. As far as I am concerned, all of my relatives and friends can come and visit. I like to share the new bundle of joy right away :) There is plenty of time for bonding throughout the nights.

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  • We are not inviting family to visit until after DD has met her little sister and I am feeling a little more with it. The reason is two-fold. One, this has been a very difficult pregnancy and we want to make sure everything is OK -- the LAST thing I need is my mom and MIL freaking out if God-forbid there are issues. Second, last time, with DD, everyone got to see her for an extended time before I did. This bothered me. Again, this journey to #2 has been the hardest thing in my life, fraught with difficulties and loss. I want our first moment as a family of four to be just us. No cameras, no tears from anyone else, NOTHING. We have our plan in place -- DD will be brought to the hospital shortly after DD #2 is born by a trusted person. After that, everyone else can come. We just made sure we made plans with someone who understands and respects our reasoning.

    Afterwards, DH will take care of DD. We will probably send her home with my parents (to our house), and DH will stay with me until later in the night. As far as we have planned so far, he will be going home at night.

     

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  • We have a set c/s date but we're hoping for a vbac.  Plan is to have my mom come to our house and watch DS.  Then when LO is born my mom can bring DS to the hospital.  I know my mom is upset she won't be there this time to see the birth but it helps us if she takes care of DS.  I'd also like for DH and i to have some alone time w/ the new LO before all the excitement/visitors begin. 
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  • If I get to my RCS, the night before it DS (who will be around 18 months) will go to my mom and dads.  The morning of my RCS, my dad will come with us to the hospital and DS will stay at their house with my mom until my dad calls to let them know everything went well and to come over to the hospital.  My parents plan on bringing him 2 to 3 times a day while I'm in the hospital.  DH will most likely stay every night I'm there just so I have help from him if needed, but probably everynight he'll go back to my parent's house to say goodnight to him and tuck him in, depends on how DS does when it's time to go back to my parent's house for the night.  That's the plan for the hospital as of now, but that could all change since my OB said I won't make it to that date (I'll find out Friday when I go for my 36 week check up).
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