November 2011 Moms

Paying family members to watch LO?

I am just curious if anyone feels like it is necessary to offer to pay their parents or siblings to watch their LO? I know my family will be really excited when they are able to watch her, but I don't want to "take advantage" of anyone so to speak. My MIL is willing to watch DD 2 days a week so I can keep working at least part-time. Should we offer to pay her for this? (FYI, she volunteered to do this the moment we told her we were exepecting; we didn't ask her to)

Re: Paying family members to watch LO?

  • My mom runs her own in-home daycare and will be watching my LO 3 days a week. I'll be paying her just as much as a client would for part-time help. It may be a bit different though since she also has other LOs to watch and not just mine..
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  • I think there is a difference between going out and needing a sitter and needing a sitter for set times for things such as going to work.  My mom is going to watch LO when I go back to work in February and I fully expect to pay her.  If one of the grandparents or aunts or uncles offers to babysit, I probably wouldn't even think to pay them.  I've watched my nieces and nephews countless times and my great niece when she was an infant overnight so my nephew and his girlfriend could go out, but I never expected to get paid.  But that's just our family dynamic, I guess it depends on each family.

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  • I think it depends.  If your MIL is going to make a firm commitment to have your daughter at set times, every week and you are depending upon this as your daycare, you should at least offer to pay her.  Depending upon your family dynamics, she may very well refuse to take money but, I'll be the offer will still be appreciated.   If she does accept payment, it's certainly more than fair of you to pay her given the expectations.

    If your MIL wants to have your daughter a day or two a week but, the times are fluid and worked around her schedule then, I think those are visits and don't require an offer of payment.

     

  • If my dad is still out of work when I go back DH & I were going to pay him to watch LO, although he won't accept our money. My parents watch my niece and nephew all the time without being paid, that's just the way my family is. 

    Apparently MIL expects to be paid when she watches LO, which will never happen so I don't really need to worry about that.


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  • My mom had an inhome daycare and always watched her grands, she no longer has it but is going to keep our LO 3days a week. I def plan on paying her if she wants it or not, Babies are a lot of work.
  • There was time when DS1 was counced around between my sister and sister in law while I worked. Often I would give them gift cards as a way to  say thank you. If your mom doesn't want any money that might be a way to show your appreciation. Who can turn down a gift card!
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  • I was paid to watch my cousin's kids after I graduated from college but that was a fulltime, 9-5 gig. 

    I wouldn't expect to pay my parents, sister or ILs to watch DD but it also is more of a when needed and isn't all that often.

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  • I think my mother is willing to pay ME to let her watch this baby.Smile

     In all honesty though, my mother is appalled at the idea of taking money to do that.  We briefly discussed it and I thought she was going to rip my eyes out...she actually took offense to me suggesting it.

  • My sister is a social worker and understandably burned out at her job. She's hoping to go back to school to do something different. She has a few more classes to take, to study for the GRE, and then start grad school. This process will take about a year. During that time she has agreed to watch my LO the 3 days a week I spend in the office (I work from home on Mondays and Fridays). We are paying her since she won't be working full time anymore. 
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  • poruporu
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    I think if its a set schedule then payment is in order.  If its every once in awhile while you have a date night no payment is necessary (but don't forget to leave them dinner or money for dinner or something).

    If my mother was going to watch my kid 2 days a week, I could totally see her refusing payment.  In that case, I think I would put like a $200 a week aside, and every 6 months use the money to buy her something large, and recognizing it as a gift for watching the child. Maybe something that she really needs like new washer and dryer.

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  • My mother is watching my little ones and will watch this new one. They do go to a at home daycare 2 days a week for 4 hrs to give her a break though. She was just laid off so it worked out but when the new baby comes we will be paying her to stay home with the kids. Daycare is as much as my mortgage so can't afford to do that and I feel better knowing their well taken care of so its worth it to me.

    Just talk it over and agree on an amount that's comfortable for everyone. I really like the GC ideas!!

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  • The only family member I offer to pay to watch my DS is my 13 yearold niece.  Everyone else either offers to do it for free or we swap kids (they watch DS one day; DH or I watch their kids another day). 
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  • I will be paying my mother $200 a week.  She is actually moving to be here and didn't expect to be paid but my mother is a nurse, has worked hard all of her life and still doesn't really have much to show for it - I couldn't let her move here and take care of the baby and not pay her...I am so grateful that she is doing this.

     

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