1st Trimester

MIL outed me on FB

I was not going to tell anyone other than family until after my 12 week appt/ultrasound.

Well, I no longer have to seeing as my MIL blared all over facebook last night that she is getting another grandchild.  Glad she is excited but pretty upset that we dont get to tell the rest of family and friends ourselves. Grr,,.

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Re: MIL outed me on FB

  • OMJ! I would definitely have something to say about that. I was going to ask if you told her to keep it quiet, but that doesn't really matter. It's not her place to spread the news. I don't mean to anger you further, but that's totally unacceptable.
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  • I would contact her right now and have her take it down.  I would be pissed! 

    We told our parents last time when I was 4.5 weeks.  VERY early but we couldn't hold in our excitement.  That very day I walk into the room and my dad is telling extended relatives...like cousins I haven't even seen in 10 years.  It was ridiculous.

    I'm 6 weeks right now and none of our family knows for this reason alone.

  • Totally one of the reasons I don't like facebook...my parents left a comment on my wall after my first u/s saying "is it safe?  you know..." I deleted it right away b/c I have friends out there who are smart enough to figure it out.  I've found out that both sets of parents have told people despite the fact we said no until 12 weeks. 
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  • With my first, my MIL told my SIL after we asked them not to tell anyone due to a previous m/c.  Because of that, I won't tell my IL's until I'm ready for more people to know.  Sucks for them, but I can't trust her.  Sorry she said something.  It's YOUR news to share, not hers. 
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  • That sucks! I would be pissed. So glad my parents and in-laws don't have FB.
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  • This is the exact reason no one knows (except a couple co workers- see post below) and we won't be telling even parents until 12 wks. My MIL and SIL have no tack and can not keep their mouths shut.
  • And this is why my MIL is last to know this time!  We told her around 8w last time and told her not to tell anyone, but I know she did.  This time I also don't want to tell her until 13/14w because if i miscarry she's one of the last people I want to have to tell/deal with.  Also, thank god my MIL doesn't have FB!
  • I'm terrified that my MIL will do this too.  We told her she needed to keep it a secret, and she told us that we should not have told her then.  What?  No. 
  • I dont understand why parents can't respect us asking them to keep quiet. My mom outed me... luckily I was able to delete if before anyone saw, but she still told like our whole family. I guess next baby no one will know until I am ready for everyone to know. Its so sad we cant tell them. I feel for ya, I know what you are going through only this was my own mom.
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  • I don't get why they can't just keep their traps shut!  It's not their news-- it's ours.  MIL did manage to keep it off facebook (although she *only* told a few of her close friends in real life.... as if that makes it okay).  But the other day I looked on her FB & saw, "Can't wait for little Brooks or Caitlin to get here!"

    1) Get our child's potential name off of facebook.  We mentioned it to our parents & have talked about it with a few close friends & on the bump boards. That's OUR news to tell.

    2) You spelled Katelynn wrong.  I get that it's a correct spelling, but she's trying to be all 'grandmother of the year'-- and the 'lynn' is after her middle name! 

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  • I'm sorry you are upset.

    My theory is that telling one person (even if you ask them to keep it quiet) is the same as telling the world. Once you let the cat out of the bag, imo, you should just expect everyone to know.

    FWIW, when I was pregnant with J., we had to tell SIL almost immediately after we got our BFP due to needing to order bridesmaids dresses for her wedding. We asked her to keep it to herself. She did. However, I wouldn't have been upset if the news had gotten out.

    We had told someone. And news of a pregnancy is hard for people to keep to themselves. That's why we aren't telling anyone with this one for a long time.

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  • As far as I know my MIL hasn't told anyone yet, but I won't lie...we're testing her. We constantly have issues with her doing what she wants and what she thinks is right and she normally doesn't care what we think. We'll be seeing her this weekend at a family friend's wedding and she's already told DH that she thinks we should tell some other family friends who will be there. We've told her no, but I'm going to be interested to see if she drops it or if she continues to bug us. This is a long standing problem with her, and she's going to have a rude awakening when she realizes she's not in control anymore. I hope this doesn't sound mean, but unfortunately it's something we have to deal with.
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  • Oh man sorry to hear that.

    My MIL did the same thing last time to us at 6 weeks which is why we have not told any of DH's family this time around.  He wants to see how long we can go without telling them.

    My whole family and close friends all know. 

    I hope they are not mad once they find out but it is the 9th grand baby so don't think it is a big deal.

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  • That's my fear with my MIL, but so far so good, I think.  I'd be livid (and she'd be hearing it from me and my husband).

    I think you should be able to trust the people you tell, if we find out we can't trust them, lesson learned.  Next, time they'll be the last to know. 

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  • When we broke the news, we specifically asked the FB blabbers not to post anything about it. I told them that I have co-workers as friends on FB and I'm not notifying work until we're safely into the second trimester. They have all respected my wishes so far.

    As far as my mom and MIL go, they've told anyone and everyone that will listen. I don't care if family and friends know so that's not an issue, but I really don't like the added attention. 

  • You should return the favor and  "out" her on FB.

     

    JK, but the thought does make me giggle a little.  

  • Are you SERIOUS? That is so lame of her!
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  • Oh lawd!  That is why we just went ahead and told everyone and asked for their prayers and support to make it through the first tri without any issues.  I KNEW one of my inlaws, either my MIL or my SIL would say something on FB!
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  • My FIL did that when I was pregnant with DS at 6 weeks. We were lucky that only a handful of family saw it before he took it down but I felt bad that they found out through a fb post especially before I was ready to share.
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