OK. I am being a complete brat. I know this. Even my bestie very timidly pointed out to me yesterday that I may be a bit hormonal and may be overreacting. So, I need some advice.
My MIL has nothing but good intentions. She is a lovely woman and I really want and need to have a good a loving relationship with her. We come from completely different backgrounds (racially, socio-economically, religiously, etc...) In fact, we could not be more different.
So - two things have happened. I am normally someone who can ignore/forgive/forget when I've been 'done wrong'. I don't hold grudges for the most part. However, these two incidents have needled their way under my skin and I can't seem to let it go.
1.) My BFF of 20 + years passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago. It was awful and I did not handle it well. I did this scary depression spiral and could barely get myself out of bed. I cried constantly and felt (still do) that a piece of me died with her that day. She was the love of my life, my soul mate, my biggest fan. So, I'm in the deepest depths of this depression. I'm barely able to breathe without it hurting and I'm facing the 1 year mark of her passing. My MIL comes to talk to me. She tells me that I need to get over this, I need to move on, etc....Then she proceeds to tell me that the longer I grieve for my friend, the longer it will take for her soul to find peace.
ugh. Punch in the gut. Seriously. I don't believe the same way that she does but it was still an awful feeling. On top of everything else, I had the guilt that I wasn't letting BFF's soul pass on! I know she didn't mean it in an unkind way but it was the cruelest thing anyone could have said to me at that time.
2.) When we announced our pregnancy, I made these cute onesies. On the front they said, "I <3Grandma Mary" and on the tooshie, "Introducing Baby Smith, December 2011" They were really cute.
Instead of saying something like, "cute" or "what a great idea" or "I like the colors you used" or something positive she says, "Thank God you aren't naming the baby Jones". Jones is my last name. I never changed it when I got married. Slap in the face to me and slap in the face to my kooky family.
So, if you've made it this far, Thanks. But, really, what am I supposed to do here? I can't let these two things go. I really can't. I know I need to, I should. I really don't think talking to her will help. She is "set in her ways" so to speak and I really don't think it will be effective.
What would you do? I have got to get over this for the sake my myself, my DH and her 1st grandchild. Being angry like this isn't healthy.