Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Confessions

I don't know about you, but I need a confession post today. Here's your chance to get it all out, flame free. What's on your mind?
TTC #1 since January 2011
BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
imageimage  My chart.


Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!

Re: Confessions

  • I'm in the middle of a two week visit from my MIL. She's a lovely person, but she shared out MC news just hours after we asked her not to, and the person she shared it with told the entire family. Then, she waited two weeks to tell us that it happened, told us the story, then told us a different version of the story once she got to our house a week later. Actually, both of the versions of the story were told to DH. She hasn't once acknowledged any of it to me.

    So, here's my confession:  I desperately want her to come out with an apology to me. But I am certain that I'm not going to get one. So today, exactly one month since my loss I am choosing to let go of my anger so I can go the next week without carrying around all this extra anger and disappointment.  Sigh.

    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
  • Tomorrow will be my first day back at work in 2 weeks.  I know getting back to my routine will be a good thing for me, but I am dreading all of the questions: where were you?  why were you off? are you okay?  I just hope I can hold it together and not go off on someone.  There are a few people that will ask because they really care and the rest will just want to know to fulfill their office gossip needs.

    DH:41 Me:33

    Dx: MFI (very low everything)

    IVF/ICSI Only Option



    IVF #1 (antagonist): 01/2011: 9ER; 8M; 5FN; 3(3dt) = BFN

    IVF #2 (agonist): 05/2011: 13ER; 12M; 8FN; 2(3dt) = BFP (1 frostie)

    +HPT 8dp3dt; Betas: #1 12dp3dt=174; #2 19dp3dt=3461; u/s 7w5d = heterotopic pregnancy = 2 D&Cs for uterine (Trisomy 16) and meds to dissolve ectopic

    IVF #3 (agonist w BCP): 12/2011: 10ER; 9M; 8FN; 2(5dt)= BFP (2 frosties)

    +HPT 4dp5dt; Betas: #1 9dp5dt=363; #2 11dp5dt=896; B/G Twins - c/s at 37wks2d due to HELLP Syndrome


    image
  • image hungryhippo:

    I'm in the middle of a two week visit from my MIL. She's a lovely person, but she shared out MC news just hours after we asked her not to, and the person she shared it with told the entire family. Then, she waited two weeks to tell us that it happened, told us the story, then told us a different version of the story once she got to our house a week later. Actually, both of the versions of the story were told to DH. She hasn't once acknowledged any of it to me.

    So, here's my confession:  I desperately want her to come out with an apology to me. But I am certain that I'm not going to get one. So today, exactly one month since my loss I am choosing to let go of my anger so I can go the next week without carrying around all this extra anger and disappointment.  Sigh.

    Good for you for taking the higher road.  If it were me, I don't know if I could let that go, at least not without saying something.  I am working on my desire to fight every battle...

    DH:41 Me:33

    Dx: MFI (very low everything)

    IVF/ICSI Only Option



    IVF #1 (antagonist): 01/2011: 9ER; 8M; 5FN; 3(3dt) = BFN

    IVF #2 (agonist): 05/2011: 13ER; 12M; 8FN; 2(3dt) = BFP (1 frostie)

    +HPT 8dp3dt; Betas: #1 12dp3dt=174; #2 19dp3dt=3461; u/s 7w5d = heterotopic pregnancy = 2 D&Cs for uterine (Trisomy 16) and meds to dissolve ectopic

    IVF #3 (agonist w BCP): 12/2011: 10ER; 9M; 8FN; 2(5dt)= BFP (2 frosties)

    +HPT 4dp5dt; Betas: #1 9dp5dt=363; #2 11dp5dt=896; B/G Twins - c/s at 37wks2d due to HELLP Syndrome


    image
  • image Mayan2011:

    Tomorrow will be my first day back at work in 2 weeks.  I know getting back to my routine will be a good thing for me, but I am dreading all of the questions: where were you?  why were you off? are you okay?  I just hope I can hold it together and not go off on someone.  There are a few people that will ask because they really care and the rest will just want to know to fulfill their office gossip needs.

    That sucks. I too work in a gossipy office, so I can imagine what it's going to be like. I would  come up with something purposely vague for all the gossip mongers. Something along the lines of "I was on medical leave, but am doing better now. Thanks for  your concern" <insert subject change>. Sorry you're going have to be going through that tomorrow.


    image

    TTC #1 since 10/2009

    Me: 28, all tests normal.BA+Lovenox+Prometrium once BFP DH: 30, normal

    BFP# 1 - Dec 12, 2009, m/c Jan 06, 2010

    BFP# 2 - Aug 22, 2010, m/c Sept 01, 2010

    BFP# 3 - Apr 26, 2011, m/c May 07, 2011

    Clomid 50mg cycles #1 - 3 April/May/July 2012 - BFFN

    TTC Chart

    Everyone Welcome
  • I have had two complete irrational meltdowns in the last two days. First, when I was in line at the store and saw the cover of People and it had a picture of Pink and her new baby. Tears started welling up in my eyes. The second, today at Wal-Mart when I saw a pregnant woman, and quickly retreated and ran up a different aisle to avoid her, leaving DH to chase me around, having no clue what was going on lol

    image

    TTC #1 since 10/2009

    Me: 28, all tests normal.BA+Lovenox+Prometrium once BFP DH: 30, normal

    BFP# 1 - Dec 12, 2009, m/c Jan 06, 2010

    BFP# 2 - Aug 22, 2010, m/c Sept 01, 2010

    BFP# 3 - Apr 26, 2011, m/c May 07, 2011

    Clomid 50mg cycles #1 - 3 April/May/July 2012 - BFFN

    TTC Chart

    Everyone Welcome
  • My confession - I am at a crossroads and today I would much rather take the bitter, angry, forevermore a *** route than the enlightened, stronger, more compassionate woman route. 
  • image AppleJack83:
    image Mayan2011:

    Tomorrow will be my first day back at work in 2 weeks.  I know getting back to my routine will be a good thing for me, but I am dreading all of the questions: where were you?  why were you off? are you okay?  I just hope I can hold it together and not go off on someone.  There are a few people that will ask because they really care and the rest will just want to know to fulfill their office gossip needs.

    That sucks. I too work in a gossipy office, so I can imagine what it's going to be like. I would  come up with something purposely vague for all the gossip mongers. Something along the lines of "I was on medical leave, but am doing better now. Thanks for  your concern" <insert subject change>. Sorry you're going have to be going through that tomorrow.

    Thanks for the suggestion.  I am definitely going to go with the vague response approach.  I am hoping that by going this route most will get that I don't want to talk about it.  

    DH:41 Me:33

    Dx: MFI (very low everything)

    IVF/ICSI Only Option



    IVF #1 (antagonist): 01/2011: 9ER; 8M; 5FN; 3(3dt) = BFN

    IVF #2 (agonist): 05/2011: 13ER; 12M; 8FN; 2(3dt) = BFP (1 frostie)

    +HPT 8dp3dt; Betas: #1 12dp3dt=174; #2 19dp3dt=3461; u/s 7w5d = heterotopic pregnancy = 2 D&Cs for uterine (Trisomy 16) and meds to dissolve ectopic

    IVF #3 (agonist w BCP): 12/2011: 10ER; 9M; 8FN; 2(5dt)= BFP (2 frosties)

    +HPT 4dp5dt; Betas: #1 9dp5dt=363; #2 11dp5dt=896; B/G Twins - c/s at 37wks2d due to HELLP Syndrome


    image
  • image Mayan2011:

    Tomorrow will be my first day back at work in 2 weeks.  I know getting back to my routine will be a good thing for me, but I am dreading all of the questions: where were you?  why were you off? are you okay?  I just hope I can hold it together and not go off on someone.  There are a few people that will ask because they really care and the rest will just want to know to fulfill their office gossip needs.

    I'm really sorry. I remember the constant questions being amost worse. I am a high school teacher, and teenagers will say all kinds of hurtful things without meaning too.  Stay strong- and remember that you don't have to answer questions if you don't want to. Just shrug and walk off...

  • image AppleJack83:
    I have had two complete irrational meltdowns in the last two days. First, when I was in line at the store and saw the cover of People and it had a picture of Pink and her new baby. Tears started welling up in my eyes. The second, today at Wal-Mart when I saw a pregnant woman, and quickly retreated and ran up a different aisle to avoid her, leaving DH to chase me around, having no clue what was going on lol

    I remember those feelings. I had to go to my sister-in-law's baby shower the day after I found out I miscarried (while the baby was still in me). What made it worse was I had kept the pregnancy a secret because I had had 2 previous miscarriages, so no one knew why I randomly burst into tears.

  • image aejohnson928:
    image Mayan2011:

    Tomorrow will be my first day back at work in 2 weeks.  I know getting back to my routine will be a good thing for me, but I am dreading all of the questions: where were you?  why were you off? are you okay?  I just hope I can hold it together and not go off on someone.  There are a few people that will ask because they really care and the rest will just want to know to fulfill their office gossip needs.

    I'm really sorry. I remember the constant questions being amost worse. I am a high school teacher, and teenagers will say all kinds of hurtful things without meaning too.  Stay strong- and remember that you don't have to answer questions if you don't want to. Just shrug and walk off...

    Thanks sweets.

    DH:41 Me:33

    Dx: MFI (very low everything)

    IVF/ICSI Only Option



    IVF #1 (antagonist): 01/2011: 9ER; 8M; 5FN; 3(3dt) = BFN

    IVF #2 (agonist): 05/2011: 13ER; 12M; 8FN; 2(3dt) = BFP (1 frostie)

    +HPT 8dp3dt; Betas: #1 12dp3dt=174; #2 19dp3dt=3461; u/s 7w5d = heterotopic pregnancy = 2 D&Cs for uterine (Trisomy 16) and meds to dissolve ectopic

    IVF #3 (agonist w BCP): 12/2011: 10ER; 9M; 8FN; 2(5dt)= BFP (2 frosties)

    +HPT 4dp5dt; Betas: #1 9dp5dt=363; #2 11dp5dt=896; B/G Twins - c/s at 37wks2d due to HELLP Syndrome


    image
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