3rd Trimester

FTM - What should DH do during labor?

I know this is kinda of a weird question but DH and I were talking tonight about being in the hospital and labor and delivery he asked me what I wanted him to do during the labor part.  He will most definitely be there supporting me through it and the delivery but I honestly didn't know what to tell him to do.  I'm going to try to go as long as possible without meds so I don't know what kind of attention I'll feel like having from anyone or how pleasant I will be to be around.  What did your husbands and significant others do during your labor??  Or what are they planning on doing to help pass the time??

Re: FTM - What should DH do during labor?

  • Whatever I needed him to. The nurse can be helpful to make suggestions too. If your DH is struggling to find his place/role, have him ask the nurse for guidance.

    My DH talked me through contractions, changed music, held juice and water up for me to sip from a straw, held a hand-held shower head with quite hot water on my lower back or lower stomach (depending on what I was in the mood for) when I was in the bath, pressed on my lower back to provide counter pressure, supported me for balance when I was on the birthing ball, rubbed my hair and back when I was resting between contractions, held icy towels on my lower back, and sat behind me with a pillow, pushing up on my shoulders to help me compress with every push when it came time (1 hour and 45min of pushing).

    He did whatever felt right. If I found something that provided some relief (heat or cold, drinks, a certain position), he helped continue that relief for me. Just talk him through whatever you're feeling, and you'll figure it out.


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  • I don't know... I wouldn't really worry about entertaining him.  With DS1 in the beginning (until i got my epi at 7 cm), DH was not allowed to touch me or talk to me because I was trying to get through the pain.  After my epidural he slept for a while because I was trying to as well.  We might have watched TV for a bit, he kept in contact with family and friends and went to get snacks here and there. 

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  • We received some great pamphlets from our childbirth class that H will be bringing to the hospital. Mostly he will just be there to give me support, remind me to breath, and remind me that it will be worth it. He'll remind me to switch positions if the current one isn't working and support me as we walk around the hospital or the room.
  • He talked to me a lot. Not really coaching like "breathe! breathe!" but more like just general conversation.

    As far as hands on things, he massaged my lower back when I asked. I only wanted it for short periods of time so that was kinda easy on him. lol.. When I got into the bath he used the hand tool to spray the water on me and that was heavenly. He held my arm as we walked down the halls, and in general was just being really nice to me. lol

    My mom was also there for some of the labor process, but not past about 7 cm.

    It was just good to have people to talk to and laugh with. Back labor was making me just a teeeeny bit cranky though and when it started getting more intense I didn't want anyone to touch me or talk while I was concentrating.

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  • It depends on how involved you want him to be. My stepmother got irritated with my dad for hovering and kicked him out of the room, and on the flip side a friend of mine chose home birth where her husband was even in the bathtub with her during the delivery. Most labor prep classes give pointers on what he could do (massage, tone of voice, ice chips, playing music, etc..). If you go for the Bradley Method or something similar his role will be a lot more involved.

    (We're planning on natural birth, and I personally like the involvement of the husband/coach in the Bradley Method, but if it's too late to enroll in a class you can get a book off amazon pretty cheap that outlines everything for him.)

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  • I labored for a few hours before the epidural and basicaly DH was there holding my hand, walking with the halls with me, breathing with me, etc. When I got the epidural (at 5cm) he relaxed and watched the Cowboys game while I laid in bed and chatted with my mom. He was actually really interested in what the nurses were doing (checking heartbeat, etc.) so he would get involved and they would show him and explain different things.

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  • During labor, he was there to get me ice chips and just to basically hang out with me (it was a long process).  He also answered the phone when my crazy, worried family called and that was great. He kept everyone updated. 

    While I was pushing, he held one of my legs and the nurse held the other.  Don't put too much thought into to.  He will figure it out and the nurses will help him, too.

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  • For me... my DH should be there, be quiet and this time  (unlike w/DS1)   just pick a chapstick kind without a ten minute conversation!!  =)

     

  • I know this sounds crazy.. (I've been told...) but I want to labor! I have to have a c section! =(


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  • My husband walked the hall with me and wheeled the IV bag around, he helped me to the bathroom, get in and out of the bed, and most importantly he reminded me to breathe.  I had a very fast labor though so unlike you see on TV, he was at my side the entire time.  Oh, and I held his hand through the contractions or held on to him too. 
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  • With my first my husband was great now that I look back on it, but he would talk to me during contractions and annoy me:)   Now of course I know he was very helpful, trying to take my mind off the pain.   I agree to not put too much thought into it, he will find things to do even if its just holding you hand. 
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  • My DH was lost on what to do, so the nurse said, "Here, take this leg!" lol! I was also on oxygen but it was annoying me and I kept pulling the mask off so he had to hold my leg up AND hold the oxygen mask down on my face all while I was fighting him lol... He also was in charge of taking pictures right after she was born (still covered in gooeyness lol) At our hospital, you aren't allowed to take pictures/film during the birth or he would have been doing that too.
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  • image chelwig89:
    My DH was lost on what to do, so the nurse said, "Here, take this leg!" lol! I was also on oxygen but it was annoying me and I kept pulling the mask off so he had to hold my leg up AND hold the oxygen mask down on my face all while I was fighting him lol... He also was in charge of taking pictures right after she was born (still covered in gooeyness lol) At our hospital, you aren't allowed to take pictures/film during the birth or he would have been doing that too.

    Oh ya, he also helped kick annoying family members out of the room when the nurses didn't catch them peeking in, lol.

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  • We are trying to go drug free so he will be there helping me. Rubbing my back if needed, encouraging me etc. helping me stay relaxed. He has an important job to do as a coach. 
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  • I'm also a FTM, due August 3rd.  Just thinking about how the dynamics between my husband and me are going to be in the delivery room makes me laugh! 

    He's the emotional, lovey-dovey, one in the relationship.   He has been amazing throughout my entire pregnancy and is always asking what he can do or what I want.   

    I know he'll want to talk sweet to me and rub my back and hold my hand....I just hope I'm not a b*tch to him!   He'll be an amazing "coach" and we're just going to go with the flow.   I told him not to feel obligated to look down to see what's going on or to cut the cord...he's not great with seeing that stuff and I don't want him passing out!  

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    DH's primary role at the start was to fill out paper work for me while I was waiting for me epi. He also kicked out someone who kept trying to ask me survey questions. Once I had my epidural he read a book and then had lunch. While I was pushing he help my leg.

     

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  • Personally, we are doing the Bradley method classes. It has a focus of the husband/partner giving support. 

     

    I would suggest the book The Birth Partner. It is fantastic. I have attend over 30 births myself and it was really helpful. 

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  • Your husband is a major part of this amazing journey, and his active participation throughout is vital.  I recommend that he applies The Birth Support Kit on you (and himself) prior, during, and post labor.  It is a pleasurable way to navigate the birth with as much ease, and gentleness.  It also helps to increase the emotional bond among you, him, and baby.  Get the kit at http://t.co/Z51qVd9
  • funny my boyfriend and i had the same conversation last night. he said hed be totally freaked out to look down there lol and poor thing passes out at the sight of blood so i told him i'll definitely want him there but when the pushing comes i'll let him take a walk outside haha

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