1st Trimester

Need Advice! RE: Telling Employer

Hi all, I need some advice if you have a moment. I am a nanny, and when my nanny family leaves for a long vacation, sometimes they ask me to do household chores while they are gone (because they still pay me for the week). While they were gone to Disney this spring I washed baseboards, cleaned blinds, ect. Well they are leaving for a week-long vacation the first week of July, and this past Friday the dad made a comment about me staining the large playset he just built in the backyard. I didn't really know what to say because I wasn't sure if he was serious, but I said that I had never stained anything before so I didn't know how good it would look.

 Ok, so now the advice part comes in. I want to be prepared for what to say if he was serious and he asks me again this week to stain the playset the following week while they are gone. I really wanted to have the first ultrasound before I told them I was pregnant, which I was planning to have while they are gone on vacation. So the question is - do I just take the opportunity to tell them when he asks me to stain again or should I kind of pretend like I'm going to stain and then just wait and tell them when they get back (if all goes well with the ultrasound)?

I'm really nervous about telling them because when they hired me in January, we weren't planning on trying so soon, nor did we think we would get pregnant so soon after trying, so they are under the impression babies aren't even on the brain for us. I really appreciate any comments you could provide! Thanks :)

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Re: Need Advice! RE: Telling Employer

  • Well congrats on your BFP! Is it possible to get your DH to stain the set for you, if its brought up again?I don't know that I would commit to doing it while having no intention, I think it would bother me more if someone did that to me...I would feel lied to. Things happen though, and unless they are really horrible people I can't imagine that they wouldn't be happy for you, or wouldn't understand. Do you plan on continuing to work for them, and if not how soon do you think you would quit?

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  • I know that I am concerned about telling my employer as well. I work in a school setting, with autistic children and my job can be very demanding physically and mentally. It is definately a challenge.

    But I think that you should just be honest with them. I know that dishonesty is just going to cause issues if you plan on staying with them.

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  • kleMcKkleMcK
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    I agree with PPs, I wouldn't commit to doing it if you think you might not. If you're not ready to tell them yet, I'd also suggest asking your DH to do it for you.
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  • I would not say that you are going to do it if you are not planning on doing it.  You could call you dr and see what they say.  I would imagine if you used gloves and it being outside (good ventilation) that could be fine. However, your dr would know best. If your dr says not to do it, then you could ask your DH to do it for you.  Or you could just be honest and tell them the truth.  I think that sometimes you have to tell early, if it means avoiding a potentially harmful situation for the baby.  
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  • If I were you, I'd tell the family.  I understand keeping the pregnancy a secret for the first tri to many people, but I think telling your employer may be an exception.  It's nice for you to tell them so that they know/understand if you have m/s, extra OB appts, & other things. 

    My best friend kept her pregnancy a secret & was stressed about them finding out.  W/ DD, I was open & honest.  If I had a bad headache, they were more than willing to help me out in my classroom.  When I had a scare at 9 weeks, they told me to leave school & go to the ER.  I never felt like I had to make excuses, & I always felt like they supported me 100%.

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  • Thanks, everyone. I think I will just grow a pair and tell them this week if it comes up. You're all right - I wouldn't feel right about lying to them anyway, and there's no way I would make my husband do it, it's a pretty big playset lol. I do plan on working as far into the pregnancy as I can, so hopefully that will ease any frustration they might have. Thanks again :)
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