I'm in a funk I guess. My ex isn't a horrible guy generally speaking. He didn't abuse me, he didn't treat me like dirt, he just says that he buried feelings for me because of some things we had going on surrounding our relationship. I think it would almost make it easier to get over had he been a superdouche or crazy or something. I didn't want the split. I only see him every other weekend when he picks DS up for visits, and I cut off all social contact with him (he wanted to stay in contact and build a friendship), because I saw myself just pining over him and realized it wasn't healthy. I've been in counseling, but I swear some days it feels like I'm never going to get out of this rut. He has a new girlfriend, and it just makes me sick thinking about her "taking my place" or whatever. I've tried to get out and enjoy the single life, but money is tight, I'm in the process of finding a job because I'm currently unemployed unfortunately, and am also going to school full time, so my son and all of those things have to be my top priorities. I don't feel like I'm being responsible to try and go out regularly. KWIM?
I know asking for advice from internet strangers isn't a cure-all or anything. I just feel like I've tried what I know should work, but it just isn't doing it. I've even taken up a meditation class hoping that it would help me rid my mind of all the negative thoughts. And for all of this, my feelings are still every bit as strong for him as they were months ago. Is it just one of those things where you just have to suffer until you get over it? What the heck am I doing wrong?
This turned into more of a vent than I intended it to. It's been a long night, with a baby who has learned to throw some pretty wicked tantrums, and I think I'm feeling particularly down about life at the moment. E-hugs and advice appreciated. Thanks ladies!