Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

spare the rod spil the child?

Re: spare the rod spil the child?

  • No.  We will not be spanking.
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  • how long does redirection work? What will you use if you don't spank? 
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  • I have not and never will spank my child.  There are other ways to discipline that are better for us. 
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  • Any methods I can research?  I would like to skip spanking but what do I do in danger situations? 
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  • image serenavanderwoodson:
    Any methods I can research?  I would like to skip spanking but what do I do in danger situations? 

    What is a danger situation that would require spanking?  I'm not sure what you mean by this.  If my child is say, running in the street, I'll grab her and hold her so she can't go in the street.  Why is spanking necessary? 

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  • Te spanking is necessary so that she understands the gravity and severity of the situation.  I want to make sure she never does it again. 
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  • since no one else seems to be answering your other questions, i will try. we will not spank our child. saying no or stop will make DD stop 99% of the time. i have also made sure she know what stop is in greek- my other language. when they do not work, a light tap on the hand will, or a loud clap always gets her attention. gl!
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  • No, I have not hit either of my children.
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  • I find it strange that you teach, but you have no knowledge of disciplinary tactics outside of spanking.
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  • image liza0828:
    I find it strange that you teach, but you have no knowledge of disciplinary tactics outside of spanking.

    I find it strange that you find it strange.  I was spanked growing up.  It is illegal to spank my 8th graders.  It is not illegal to spank my daughter although up to now I have not spanked her.   What is the connection here you are missing?  I guess next time I'll use google. 

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  • image serenavanderwoodson:

    image liza0828:
    I find it strange that you teach, but you have no knowledge of disciplinary tactics outside of spanking.

    I find it strange that you find it strange.  I was spanked growing up.  It is illegal to spank my 8th graders.  It is not illegal to spank my daughter although up to now I have not spanked her.   What is the connection here you are missing?  I guess next time I'll use google. 

    The connection I'm missing is that obviously you must have some ideas about discipline that don't involve spanking, since you can't spank children in your classroom.  I'm wondering why you don't think any of those strategies will translate to parenting.

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  • image serenavanderwoodson:
    Te spanking is necessary so that she understands the gravity and severity of the situation.  I want to make sure she never does it again. 

    DD knows when I am serious by the tone of my voice, the look on my face and my general demeanor. I don't think spanking is "necessary," as you say, to convey the gravity and severity of the situation. But if you really believe this, then we're not going to change your mind.

    If DD doesn't respond to what I am saying, then specific punishment, like taking a favorite toy away or not allowing her to participate in an activity that matters to her(like going to the park or getting a bedtime story) usually reinforce the idea that she should never do xyz again. My child is by no means perfect, but we can generally resolve the majority of issues this way. In the very, very few cases I can think of where she wanted to continue testing boundaries, I honestly don't see how spanking would have made any difference over the other methods we used.

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  • image liza0828:
    image serenavanderwoodson:

    image liza0828:
    I find it strange that you teach, but you have no knowledge of disciplinary tactics outside of spanking.

    I find it strange that you find it strange.  I was spanked growing up.  It is illegal to spank my 8th graders.  It is not illegal to spank my daughter although up to now I have not spanked her.   What is the connection here you are missing?  I guess next time I'll use google. 

    The connection I'm missing is that obviously you must have some ideas about discipline that don't involve spanking, since you can't spank children in your classroom.  I'm wondering why you don't think any of those strategies will translate to parenting.

    The difference is my 8th grader understands my words and so far my daughter does not.  I'm not interested in a bump cat fight so you can move on.  I won't be answering you since you are not helpful.   

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  • image penguingrrl:
    No, I have not hit either of my children.

    Hmm  my brother, sister, and I got spanked as children but I would NEVER say my parents "hit" us. we got spanked on the butt, plain and simple. while it's not for everyone - and very obviously not your choice - I find it rude that you refer to spanking as hitting your child. there is a huge difference between a slap on the butt and actually HITTING your child.

  • I was spanked as a child.  Don't think it really affected me in any kind of way other than I didn't do the sh*t I got spanked for (jumping on the bed, running into the street, kicking my little brother).

    That said, I won't spank my children.

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  • I was spanked 2 times in my life and i remember it.  Both times, I was so out of control and hysterical that no "look", direct tone, or redirection worked.  I got swatted on my butt, not too hard, but enough to stop me dead in my tracks. It bascially got my attention enough for my mom to then be able to work with me.

    I am not condoning it, nor do I pan on spanking my child, but i do understand where it came from in this type of situation.

    And i am a teacher too.....

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  • I will not spank.

    And, as far as the analogy in your subject line, I don't believe the Bible is referring to spanking in that passage. In biblical times, shepherds used their rods to direct the sheep, they did not hit them with them. I believe the passage refers to disciplining and teaching your child, but not hitting them as a form of discipline. I think many people take that out of context. 



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  • We don't spank now and don't plan to.
  • image JesykaC21:

    image penguingrrl:
    No, I have not hit either of my children.

    Hmm  my brother, sister, and I got spanked as children but I would NEVER say my parents "hit" us. we got spanked on the butt, plain and simple. while it's not for everyone - and very obviously not your choice - I find it rude that you refer to spanking as hitting your child. there is a huge difference between a slap on the butt and actually HITTING your child.

    THIS! I got spanked growing up. 

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  • image Layla116:
    Don't feed the troll.

     

    THIS. 

    MUD.

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  • We were at the pool the other day and I watched a 4-5-yr-old hit his mother, to which she turned around, smacked him on the head, while saying, "No hitting!"  OP, do you see the irony? 

    And to answer your question, there are many other tactics out there other than hitting your child.  Have you tried "1-2-3 Magic" or "Happiest Toddler on the Block"?  These have tactics that can be applied specifically to a toddler.

    I'm sure there will be times that I will lose my temper, yell, or not handle a situation well, but I can confidentally say that I will never, ever hit my child.

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  • image Baby0322:
    image JesykaC21:

    image penguingrrl:
    No, I have not hit either of my children.

    Hmm  my brother, sister, and I got spanked as children but I would NEVER say my parents "hit" us. we got spanked on the butt, plain and simple. while it's not for everyone - and very obviously not your choice - I find it rude that you refer to spanking as hitting your child. there is a huge difference between a slap on the butt and actually HITTING your child.

    THIS! I got spanked growing up. 

    Agreed.  My older son gets spanked on occasion.  Simply talking to him, yelling at him, and/or taking things away from him does not work.  Timeouts send him into such a tizzy that he hurts himself unless I can sit right there with him (not always possible).  A smack to the butt is often the only thing that gets his attention.  Whether or not I spank P will depend entirely upon his response, or lack thereof, to other forms of discipline.

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  • image kes3237:

    I'm sure there will be times that I will lose my temper, yell, or not handle a situation well, but I can confidentally say that I will never, ever hit my child.

    This. I believe spanking, whether you consider it hitting or not, is not a constructive way to parent.

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