July 2011 Moms

My first vent ever (re: team green)

Ok, I've been on these forums for about 2 1/2 years and have never written a vent post, but I'm going to now.  And b/c someone is bound to say it, I know nobody is entitled to a shower/sprinkle and you should be grateful for anything you get, yada yada yada.  

The ladies at my job were talking about throwing me a small shower, but when I told them we weren't finding out the sex they decided to postpone it till 8 weeks after the baby is due.  You know, so they'll know what to get me.  So I went to Target the other day and bought all the stuff we need.  It just kind of bugs me that they made a big deal out of throwing me a shower (they're the type that want to throw a Friday afternoon luncheon for any occasion) but are waiting till baby gets here so they can buy clothes.  And we are stocked up on clothes till at least 6-9 months.  What I really needed were a Boppy, nipples/pacis, and crib sheets.  

So, ya, that's my vent.  Flame away if you wish.  

Re: My first vent ever (re: team green)

  • No flame here. That does kind of stink!!
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  • That is crappy.  Did they even ask you what you needed?  That would have helped them a lot in the shopping department.  Weirdos...
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  • No flame here.  Just as above, they could have asked what you needed and shopped accordingly.  You can buy diapers, bottles, wipes, and plenty of baby supplies without knowing the sex. 
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  • People love to give baby clothes...I got a ton for my shower and took them all back. Gift cards are the best, haha. But ya, def a bummer.
  • No flames here--that sucks, IMO. We're also Team Green and my coworkers asked if I preferred to have a shower before LO arrives or after. Of course, I chose before! I'm sorry they didn't give you the option--weird that they think clothes are the only thing you could possibly need.
  • I'm the first to say be grateful for getting anything, but I agree that is dumb.  If they want to just buy you fun stuff instead of what you really need- whatever, but putting it off until the baby is 8 weeks is unnecessary.  The girls throwing my work shower said the same thing to me, but I guess I looked a little uneasy about having to come into the office for a shower while I'm supposed to be on mat. leave, so they decided to have it ahead of time.  Guess what? Burp cloths, receiving blankets, toys, crib sheets, books, baby wash,diapers, bath toys, hooded towels, bottles, pacifiers, etc. are all gender neutral. No one had any trouble finding anything b/c I don't know the sex. And some ladies even managed to find the clothes with the yellow ducks on them :)  People have been having baby showers since the beginning of time, and the ability to know the sex hasn't been around that long. Alot of the ladies at my work are older and didn't know the sex of their own children, what did they do back then? My own MIL didn't buy anything for baby (and I'm sure will be mad now that there is nothing left to buy) because we don't know the sex so it was "impossible to get anything"......
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  • I hear ya!  We were team green with DS too (and this one). When a family member wanted to throw me a shower they suggested waiting until after DS came so (like you) they could know what they needed to get.  UM...it was my 1st and I needed EVERYTHING!  I kindly said that I would rather have the shower beforehand so that I didnt have to worry about taking care of a baby during my shower!

    That stinks that people only want to get "boy or girl" stuff.  Take back the clothes they get you for gift cards and use it for diapers later! 

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  • Ya, I totally don't get it.  The thing I've heard the most is, "I could never do that, I need to be prepared.  How can you be ready if you don't know the sex?" WTH?  I'm having a baby, and the baby's needs don't change based on its sex.  

    Plus, we're cloth diapering so I can't even tell them to buy me diapers.  ::grumble grumble::

  • image FyshWyfe:

    Ya, I totally don't get it.  The thing I've heard the most is, "I could never do that, I need to be prepared.  How can you be ready if you don't know the sex?" WTH?  I'm having a baby, and the baby's needs don't change based on its sex.  

    Plus, we're cloth diapering so I can't even tell them to buy me diapers.  ::grumble grumble::

    That was the other suggestion at my office. They wanted to do a diapers and wipes party....  One of the men in the office actually gave me some fuzzi bunz though, then I had to explain what cloth diapers were to a bunch of ladies who rolled their eyes and said "you can just use them as burp cloths" when I said the gift was cloth diapers.

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  • image kateisgreat:
    image FyshWyfe:

    Ya, I totally don't get it.  The thing I've heard the most is, "I could never do that, I need to be prepared.  How can you be ready if you don't know the sex?" WTH?  I'm having a baby, and the baby's needs don't change based on its sex.  

    Plus, we're cloth diapering so I can't even tell them to buy me diapers.  ::grumble grumble::

    That was the other suggestion at my office. They wanted to do a diapers and wipes party....  One of the men in the office actually gave me some fuzzi bunz though, then I had to explain what cloth diapers were to a bunch of ladies who rolled their eyes and said "you can just use them as burp cloths" when I said the gift was cloth diapers.

    I've gotten that response too.  Except thankfully we're second-timers so I don't hear any more of those comments about how CDing sounds great till your baby actually gets here and then you'll give it up.  I have a comeback for that one now.  

    So, hey, any ideas on what I can ask for for an older baby?  I know we need a new highchair.  Any other suggestions?  

  • That sucks.

    My MIL offered to organize my shower for my first (jointly with DH's sister and cousins). We were team green. She put it off and put it off and put it off.... and then I found out she was doing it on purpose so she could have a shower after the baby was born when we would know the sex. Sigh. Except we planned on having a big family (probably 4 kids) and actually really wanted all neutral stuff in newborn clothes and all the accessories so we could use it for all of our kids, since we wouldn't have a shower for future kids. My main shower was when DS1 was 6 weeks old. My work had a shower for me before DS1 was born, so that was nice, but I'm still bitter that we have so much boy baby stuff.

    Sorry. That is frustrating.


    Owen (March 2007), Caleb (July 2009), Eliza (July 2011) and August (September 2013)




  • That's what my family is doing, too!  ARRRRGHHHHH
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  • image yellowbirdandco:
    That's what my family is doing, too!  ARRRRGHHHHH

    Can't you talk to them about it?  There's so much that you need for those first few weeks.  Is it your first?  

  • No flames from me, I've experienced similar responses.We were very lucky to have showers thrown for us and we received a lot of what we needed, but I got a lot of "you don't know what your having, how am I supposed to know what to buy you??" comments. Umm, there's a ton of stuff on my registry that you can purchase. As much as I appreciate cute baby clothes, the practical stuff is nice too. 
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  • That's very frustrating..especially 8 weeks til after the baby is due..wtf.

    That being said, in Canada, I would say showers are often held after the baby is born..and for some reason most people I know are Team Green, so that's a lot of peoples situations. We are Team Green, having a shower after for baby, so we had to go out and buy everything ourselves. People mostly give baby clothes though for baby gifts I find..so it's not really a huge deal to me.

    I do get where you are coming from though, when showers are always thrown beforehand and you are sort of expecting to get everything you need. Bummer :(

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  • This same thing happened to the shower my aunt was going to throw me.  She decided she wanted to wait until after the baby arrives because it would be easier for her.  This is my first baby, so we had nothing because everyone says to wait to shop until after your shower, but luckily a friend threw me a small shower, so we did get a few items we needed.  I don't know if the after baby shower is even going to happen because my aunt is a flake, but at least I'm set now for the LO to arrive.
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  • Well THAT sucks! I, too, am team Green. My work is excited about throwing me a shower. They know how to buy neutral things. They also look at that thing online...ooohh...what is it called? uhm..my REGISTRY!

    My sis seems to be the only one giving me grief about not being able to shop for me because she doesn't know what it is. OMG! how EVER did people do it before USs were commonplace (not THAT long ago!!!!)

    She got me a bouncy and a diaper bag. How HARD was that?

    I really need what everyone needs. Essentials! Diapers, wipes, toiletries, plain Ts and onsies! I mean....those are as neutral as you can get.

    I'd be venting too!

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  • Just a minor flaming from me.  The gesture of the party is what should matter, not what comes in the wrapping paper and gift bags.  But then I'm one of those "I was in the bed making this baby not you, so I should be the one at Target making the baby necessity purchases anyway" kinda people.

    Whenever the party happens, I hope you have a great time and really enjoy the company of all those who attend.

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  • No flame here, I agree 100% with you. There are plenty of "neutral" items that people could buy for you before the baby comes that would be totally helpful. It seems like they are thinking more of themselves and what they want to buy, rather than what you actually need. UGH. I'd be annoyed too.
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