Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Emotional and alone after follow-up appt.

We found out I there was no heartbeat three weeks ago and I stopped bleeding one week ago.  My follow up was today.  I have been really anxious about it but was hopeful to hear how we could start trying soon.

I had to wait over an hour (this isn't quite common but it put me in a bad mood) and then seeing all the happy pregnant women talking about the baby moving...continued the bad mood and I wanted to cry.

I think what sent me over the edge was when my doctor pitied all the cramping I went through due to my bicornuate uterus (heart shaped).  I then asked how defined my uterus split was and he replied, "very".  My heart sank.  He explained that miscarriages aren't caused by the heart shaped uterus but premature birth is the major complication.

Will I ever get my baby? I feel so defeated right now.

I don't know who to talk to and DH is working in a particular room right now where he can't get any privacy.  

Thanks for reading.  Any one else with a bicornuate uterus?

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Re: Emotional and alone after follow-up appt.

  • Oh lovie, I'm so sorry you are feeling alone. I don't know anything about bicornuate ute. but I do want to say that any Dr. worth his degree would have warned you of the complications. That doesn't certainly doesn't mean you will not get your baby, it just means they will monitor you more closely when you do get pregnant. (((HUGE HUGS)))
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  • I'm so sorry hun.  I have no advice about the bicornuate ute, but I actually got some really great advice from a friend on my wedding month board who lost her babies...she said when she went in for follow-ups, if they said they were behind she would ask if they had an exam room empty where she could wait instead so she didn't need to see all the happy pregnant women.

    This does not work well in my doctor's office though since the walls are so thin I end up overhearing all the details of other women's appointments--and hearing that the lady in the next room is "considering cutting back on smoking since she is pregnant" only makes me angry and bitter Stick out tongue

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  • I am so sorry Hun!  I dont know anything about heart shaped uterus' I just wanted to give you my support and let you know I am thinking of you:)
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  • I'm sorry I don't know anything about the heart shpaed uterus either, but I pray that you can get some input from other ladies!  I hope you've been able to talk to your DH by now.  It's hard not having your other half with you or able to at least talk to him for support.  Also praying that we all get our babies sooner or later and that your body gets back to normal sooner than later so you can start trying again!  T&P and (((hugs)))!
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  • Hi. I am so sorry for your loss and know no words can make the pain go away.  I have a bicornuate uterus as well. I miscarried two and a half weeks ago at 15 weeks. I had a D & E and went to my follow up appointment yesterday. During my pregnancy I was to be followed by MFM at 18, 20, and 24 weeks to check my cervical length. Unfortunetly, I never made it to any of those appointments. Yesterday, I again asked my MD if he thought that the Bicornuate ute had anything to do with this miscarriage and he said the same thing that your MD did. Bicornuate utes cause preterm labor and the only reason it would cause a misscarriage is if the placenta implants on the septum and does not receive adequate blood flow. I hope that we will one day get out babies.
  • Thanks ladies for all the love and support! 

    Between this board, talking to DH (finally), I feel so much better.

    cwoschkolup- I am sorry you also have the same uterus issue but what you wrote is so reassuring and makes me feel not so alone.

     

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  • image walker03:

    Thanks ladies for all the love and support! 

    Between this board, talking to DH (finally), I feel so much better.

    cwoschkolup- I am sorry you also have the same uterus issue but what you wrote is so reassuring and makes me feel not so alone.

     

    Oops...how did that bolded action happen?  Sorry-  tears, margarita, typing = typing errors!

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  • ugh, doctor's offices are so awful, I swear.

    So sorry to hear about your rough day. One of my good friends had 2 m/c's, then surgery to correct her heart shaped uterus, and then a successful 3rd pregnancy. I'm not sure that had ANYTHING to do with the success after her surgery, but who knows. 

    Also, did he at LEAST tell you that you don't have to wait more than a cycle to try again?? That could at least be halfway good news, right?

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  • image mrs.julia.goolia:

    ugh, doctor's offices are so awful, I swear.

    So sorry to hear about your rough day. One of my good friends had 2 m/c's, then surgery to correct her heart shaped uterus, and then a successful 3rd pregnancy. I'm not sure that had ANYTHING to do with the success after her surgery, but who knows. 

    Also, did he at LEAST tell you that you don't have to wait more than a cycle to try again?? That could at least be halfway good news, right?

    He did say two cycles which got me going too.  BUT he is checking my HCG levels and will go from there...

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  • I am so sorry you had to go through that alone. I know how hard that is, I had a D&C yesterday, I fear my follow up appointment because I am just too afraid to go into my OB office and see all of the happy pregnant women. Doing this all on your own is so tough. We are all here for you. 
    BFP#1 1/04/2008 Liam Joseph born 09/26/08 @ 37 weeks BFP#2 5/8/2011 MC Found 06/20/2011, D&C 06/21/2011 @ 10 Weeks "Sometimes love lasts a moment. Sometimes love lasts a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime."
  • I am glad that it gave you reassurance. You are not alone. 
  • Hi Walker: I'm in the East Bay, CA too and I feel your heartache and pain. I just wanted to write a quick note that I really think you should get a second opinion on the bicornuate uterus. I have an arcuate one and I've been working for the past 8 months on what to do about it. Mine is the least defined/pronounced of all the Mullerian Anomalies and isn't usually seen as a cause for miscarriages. But the more pronounced the septum, the greater the chance the embryo will implant on the septum and not get the nutrients it needs. Your doctor says "very" I would be thinking that could pose two critical problems in both keeping the pregnancy and birthing the baby.

    I've just completed my second miscarriage and now I need to make greater consideration that there is the possibility this is posing a problem for me. At the least, I have to get a hysteroscopy to look further at how long my septum might be. If you were working with an IVF clinic (especially many in the Bay Area) they would require you get surgery on the uterus so that they could rule that out as a potential problem before you go spending all your money on IVF. Have you had an MRI to get a better look at it? They say MRIs can give with about 95% assurance the true nature and size of the septum.

    I went for about four different opinions, one specifically from a reproductive surgeon to make my original decision (which was not to do any exploratory or invasive surgery). But even that doctor is now saying after a second miscarriage, I need to see what's going on.

    You should check out the Yahoo! Group Mullerian Anomalies. The women in that group have been instrumental in guiding me on what to do and tons of them on the board have a bicornuate ute. 

    I would just hate to see anyone go through what I'm going through which is having a second miscarriage and having to make consideration for what role the shape of my uterus plays in that.

    Keep in touch and let us know what you decide,

    Cali

    TTC since April 2010, age 40, 3 miscarriages in total IVF w/PGD June 2012 - failed cycle with a genetically perfect embryo, unexplained infertility January 2013 - On to adoption!!!
  • Thanks Cali!

    I really feel that I will let nature take its place with conceiving and have the doctors monitor the next pregnancy now that we know the state of my uterus.

    After talking to my mom I realized that she too had the same issue with her uterus and she carried three of us PAST her due date.  My brother being breech was the only issue and she was told she would never carry a baby to full term.  

    So, here's hoping that I will follow like my mom.  I have had two doctors confirm my type of uterus.  Here's hoping to a successful pregnancy.  

    For now, I just have to mourn this loss.

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