Parenting after 35

NPR - baby shower for #3?!

Just curious what you ladies think.... my friend (who already has one boy and one girl) is having her third and is having a baby shower for #3.  Is that a little odd?  I love her but she tends to be a little bit of an AW so maybe it shouldn't surprise me.  I just thought baby showers were more for #1 or #2 if you're having a different sex.  Seems to me she should have everything she needs already. 

On another note, I'm going to be an AW for a second.  Its my birthday today and I am trying to CELEBRATE being 39.  After all, as my grandma would say, it is a privilege to grow older.  And this from a friend:  You have to grow older so your little one can grow up!  So true.   

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Re: NPR - baby shower for #3?!

  • Happy Birthday!!

    And, yes, it is weird to have a shower for #3. Especially since she already has children of both sexes...so she should be set with items for the next one. It seems greedy to me.

  • Thanks, I thought so too. 

    And congratulations on expecting #2!!  I leave this board for a while due to personal stuff being overwhelming and work being crazy and look what happens.  :)  Best wishes to you for a healthy and happy 9 months!

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  • You'll probably get a bunch of different answers on this. I tend to side-eye showers that go beyond child #1, but that's how I was raised. I have a cousin whose SIL's threw her a shower for each kid she had, and she has 5 kids all less than 2 yrs apart. First was a boy, so I gave a pass when the 2nd shower came because she was having a girl.  When the other 3 girls came along & showers were given for each...yeah. I didn't send any gifts after child #3.

    Some people say 1 shower ever, some people say every kid should be celebrated. And then there are small showers or "sprinkles" (I didn't hear of them until the Bump).  Like I said, I tend to side-eye showers that go beyond child #1, but then there are reasons where another shower might work. I give a pass when the 2nd child is a different sex from the first or the kids are a decade apart.  

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  • steverstever
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    Happy birthday! And a Hmm for your friend.
  • Happy Birthday! Cake

    And I second the Hmm. I had a shower with L well over 14 years ago, and it was nothing like the bashes I see posted on the Shower board. Fast forward to last fall, my boss decided to throw me a surprise sprinkle. Had I known about it before she let people know, I might have declined, but she also said the staff wanted to give S some things as a thank you for what I had done for them (I think it would have hurt a lot of feelings, and they all had granny fever).

    T, E and K did not have showers, nor were they offered. I did get extremely annoyed with people though, asking either when the shower was or when I was having it. Angry It isn't uncommon here to have a shower, then sprinkles for later babies, but most of my family hasn't don't that. Nor is it okay to host your own!

    Are the three kids close together in age? I make exception if they are pretty far apart, but I usually like the other to be a sprinkle anyhow (you're already a mom, kwim?).


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  • Happy Birthday!

    I'm in the one baby shower per woman camp.  People who want to give you a gift for subsequent children will do so anyway; you don't need to have a shower. 

     
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  • I can be okay with it if the woman's first child/children are much, much older and they weren't expecting to have another kid, gave away all their stuff, etc.

    BUT... most of the women who do have multiple showers are kind of AW-ish.

    Another BUT... we did a little party/shower for one of our neighbors when she had her #2..  I didn't think badly of it.. it was more of a celebration for the new baby.  And none of us knew her when she had her first kid 5 years ago.   Plus.. this one was a girl, so she needed girly stuff.

     

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  • Happy birthday!  :)

    Yeah, a shower for #3 is odd, unless there's a gender change or a loooong span of time between the first two and number three. 

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  • Happy birthday!

    Shower for #3 sounds a little excessive to me, too.

    "Wise parents know that their kids may someday choose their nursing home."


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  • Thanks for all the happy birthday wishes :)  As for my friend, her OLDEST (son) is 4, her daughter is 2!!  So that's why I'm giving her a little side eye about it... and from past experience, her showers are NOT sprinkles.  Oh well, I guess I don't have to participate if I feel its excessive, right?  :)  
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  • I'm having #3 and have no expectation for a shower. Like others have said, I have one of each and all major stuff. What would not surprise me and I've seen byeond baby #1 is more very close friends getting together for lunch and getting small things like diapers and wipes.
  • I am in agreement with one baby shower...however if friends or co-workers are choosing to throw another one...or more...I guess that is up to them...you can try to decline but if they want to do it...I guess they can... just don't feel obligated to participate....

    Years ago I had just started a job and on the third day of work a baby  shower was thrown...I did not know the co-worker but everyone was participating (oh and she was quitting work the following week.) So I just got a card wishing best wishes and congratulations...she asked me where her present was....Now that is rude.

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