Attachment Parenting

Co-sleeping and getting ready to spend the night with Grandma

So far I have been basically co-sleeping with my daughter, minus the occasional night when she will fall asleep in her crib. I've noticed she has such an easier time falling asleep if my husband or I hold her or are near. My mom wants to watch her one night, but I'm worried she'll have a hard time falling asleep since she won't be able to sleep with one of us.

Any tips?

Re: Co-sleeping and getting ready to spend the night with Grandma

  • KC_13KC_13
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    Will your mom cosleep with the baby? My DS did fine sleeping in be with my mom.
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  • If you want my honest answer, read below.  Possible unpopular opinion warning.

     

     

    Personally, I would not leave my one month old over night.  I think small babies need to be with their parents if at all possible.  If you had to have surgery or something like that?  Sure.  You do what you have to do.  But just for fun?  I wouldn't. 

    They have no sense of object permanence at that point.  They don't know that you only left them overnight, and that you'll be back in the morning.  They live in the present.  Maybe my opinion is skewed because my little one was the kind that wouldn't have lasted 35 minutes at a different house, without his mama, at bed time without being a hot mess.

     

     And as if one unpopular opinion wasn't enough.  :)  I'm a huge besharing advocate, and my son has never slept in a crib, but I wouldn't allow anyone else to cosleep with my child at that young of an age.  I just don't think it's following safe bedsharing practices to allow that.  When they're so small, they really don't have any defenses for keeping someone from rolling over them, and they generally don't have the head control to protect them from suffocation hazards.  New mothers sleep very lightly and have a natural instinct about where their child is.  The baby also has a natural instinct to stay at breast level with their mother, rather than drift upward or downward towards either pillows or blankets. 

    Although your mother has the best of intentions, her body just isn't used to dealing with the lighter, shorter sleep cycles that having a new baby in your bed necessitates.  Mothers prepare for having a new baby during pregnancy.  How many great nights of sleep did you have when you were 9 months pregnant?  I firmly believe that's nature's way of getting you used to functioning with a different type of sleep. 

     My LO is only a year old, but I already wouldn't trust myself to sleep with a newborn.  I can tell that I get into much deeper sleep now than I used to.  I used to wake up whenever he would squirm at night, but now, I can wake up,and he'll be half way across the bed.

     

     

    If you decide to let your baby stay over, I would really suggest you insist on the baby having her own sleeping space.

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  • I agree with Annie that I wouldn't let anyone share a bed with kiddo except me and H. Also, one month is pretty early for an overnight with someone else. So if you or your LO aren't ready to have a night apart yet, don't feel bad saying no. Your daughter will have lots of opportunity later on to have sleepovers with grandma.

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  • I agree with the two PP. I wouldn't ever let anyone cosleep with my child, besides my husband (and even then, I get slightly nervous).
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  • My kids co-sleep with my parents when they spend the night--but they never started until at least 18 months. I wouldn't let anyone sleep with my one month old, and I don't really think a one month old needs to be sleeping over with grandma yet, unless it's necessity.

     

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  • My son sleeps just fine with his Grandparents, as long as they are in bed with him. :) I know, I still worry about his sleep and he is almost 3 years old.
  • I wouldn't let my daughter sleep over ALL NIGHT yet (she still nurses off and on from 2-6 a.m) but I have left her with my mom once in the evening for bedtime, although I was 15 min away if it didn't work out. My mom was able to put her to bed by wearing her down in our mei tai, and I came home later to nurse. If you BW at all, maybe that would be an option if you just wanted an evening. FWIW, though, I didn't leave LO for more than 2 hours until she was 5 months,
  • Oh, wait...I just read the comments and then realized that your daughter is really young. I'm going to have to agree with the previous posters. I think she's safer sleeping on her own. My son didn't sleep with Grandma until he was over a year and it was safe.
  • I have to agree with the other posters. I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my 1 month old overnight with ANYONE. I'm still weary of leaving my kids anywhere at 4 and 7! If it's a necessity that your lo sleeps over I would suggest sleeping in a pack-n-play or something near your mom so she can get to her easily at night when your lo wakes up. I wouldn't have my parents co-sleep with a baby that small, although they have when they were older.
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  • Ah, I apologize I should have made my post more clear. My husband and I were hoping to have a night out and my mom offered to watch our daughter for us. So she wouldn't be there ALL night (hence why I never said "overnight"), but probably until 2 or 3 at the latest.

    My mom actually doesn't approve of co-sleeping, though she did have my sister and I's crib in their bedroom when we were small, neither feel comfortable having a baby in bed with them- and I agree, I would prefer they don't sleep with her.

  • image Wundervoll:

    Ah, I apologize I should have made my post more clear. My husband and I were hoping to have a night out and my mom offered to watch our daughter for us. So she wouldn't be there ALL night (hence why I never said "overnight"), but probably until 2 or 3 at the latest.

    My mom actually doesn't approve of co-sleeping, though she did have my sister and I's crib in their bedroom when we were small, neither feel comfortable having a baby in bed with them- and I agree, I would prefer they don't sleep with her.

    Sorry, the title said "spend the night with grandma" so I assumed that meant overnight. :)

    So okay, tips for gram... I have found that I've been surprised that other people can do things with LO that don't work for me. When Linus went to daycare, they could get him to sleep for naps in ways that I couldn't. And when my mom watches him, it's the same. Maybe grandma will have an easier time getting her to sleep than you think? Maybe not. But if you're in need of a night out, your only a phone call away. If baby won't fall asleep and is extra cranky, you can always come home early.

    Good luck! :)


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