I really need to get a few things off of my chest. I am very concerned about my bf and my financial situation. He is currently unemployed and has not had a steady job since Feb. He tried selling Herbalife but didn't manage the money well so none of it actually came back into our household. His plan was to open an Herbalife nutrition club but the band denied the loan on Thursday. He is 23 and still trying to figure out which direction to take his life. I have accepted this and support him in trying new things. However, he needs to get a job, any job, as soon as possible or we are not going to be able to keep our apartment. I have paid the bills for the last 5 months out of a college fund my parents set aside for me, but that can't go on as I still have 2 years of school left in the Nursing program and they recommend not working because it is so rigorous. I have worked the last 3 years while in college and didn't buy nice things so that I would have that money when I needed it. I have a scholarship that pays tuition, books, and fees so its important that I stay in school and keep it.
When I got pregnant the plan was for my bf to work full time and me to work part time and go to school until the baby was born, then I would stay home with the baby while finishing out the semester. I did this. It was extremely hard and not fun but I completed a full load of classes with good grades while breastfeeding and getting up a million times a night. I was supposed to get a break in the summer to be with the baby and it made since financially as well because we would not come out ahead with daycare is being so expensive and I would only be able to get a minimum wage job. Well now it is looking like I am going to have to get a job to bring in any extra money. I'm going to apply at my church nursery because then the baby could be with me and there won't be daycare issues. Yes this is a great fix-it solution, but I will not be making enough to cover all of the expenses.
My bf has become very depressed and just keeps saying he's never going to be anything now. He hasn't started looking for a job and won't even talk with me about anything. I know he is upset and I want to be understanding, but I can't help but begin to feel resentful towards him. I have worked my butt off in school and at a very high demand nanny job literally up until the day I gave birth so that we would have money.
I know his intentions at this point are good and that he wants to do the right thing, but he is putting the weight of everything on me. I'm so embarrassed to keep asking my mom for money from my fund and today I have to do so again seeing as tomorrow is the last day we can pay rent and we only have half of it. I haven't had a hair cut since before the baby was born and I couldn't afford to buy much needed new clothes since I'm not able to fit into my most of my pre-pregnancy ones. My mom felt bad and bought me a few things recently. I have always sacrificed to save money, but this is ridiculous. I'm just getting angry at this point. If I was a single mom I would know that I would have to live at my parents and have a crappy job and would be ok with that, but right now I am paying the bills for our whole household and yet my bf won't turn lights off or keep the air conditioner on a lower setting! We are a sinking ship and I don't know what to do anymore.