I just want to complain- NBR

SnoopyLuv

My bio father is in town. Just got in tonight, he's staying with my grandma 45 minutes away.

We are not close, he moved to Colorado when I was 10. I've seen him maybe 6 times in 15 years. He's a promiser and never delivers. I just feel no kinship towards him.

Of course my grandmother is all excited and everyone wants to see the baby (Did I mention he didn't come out for the birth of his first grandchild?). I am not interested in driving all over the state just to see him. I know this makes me a terrible person but he's not my father. He's like a distant cousin. Related by blood but nothing in common.

 I had envisioned spending this week at the pool with the babe and hanging out inside the a/c. Not driving up and down the beltway during rush hour to see him and my 29 year old step mother and pain in the ass 7 year old step brother. I honestly don't want them around the baby at all and I know they are going to want to babysit. I don't know how to deflect. I suspect some shady stuff happened when I was little but that's just a feeling I have, nothing more.

I just needed to get it all out there. I just want to pretend to be sick and go out to dinner with them once and then that's it.

Kara5109

I don't blame you. I would totally play the sick card.

bobbyruth

I don't think I would be going out of my way to see them either.   Meeting him for dinner sounds like more than he deserves.  

I didn't/don't really have a good relationship with my father.  My situation is completely different than yours but yeah it sucks. 

SnoopyLuv

It's just hard because I have a creepy feeling about him and nothing to substantiate it but he never did anything outright cruel to me. I feel like I should be nicer but I just don't have it in me. My life revolves around J now.

Grr.

Thanks for responding ladies.

LordValuemart

I totally understand, were my mom to be visiting family in Wichita (a 3 hour drive away, almost) due to bad circumstances and ***, I would most definitely not go out of my way to see her. I don't consider her my mom anymore because a mom would not have done a lot of the things she did. To be honest, I wouldn't even give my own mother the time of day let alone meet her for dinner, you're a better person than I am for even doing that much.

leahmom02

I would go ahead and spend the week how you planned.  If they call don't answer, you have a baby - you're too busy to pay attention to phone calls!  Hell I can't find my phone half the time because I hid it out of reach and then forgot where that place was. true story.  At the most go to a lunch or dinner and then fake an appointment or playdate.  You don't owe him anything!  If he wants to be a granddad he should've been a dad first, and should really be apologizing for his shitty job as a dad before trying to be accepted for a role he didn't fill.

katlor9

I'd just spend the one day too.  My bio father lives 15-20 min away and I haven't seen him in 7 years.  Unless you count 2 years ago when I saw him for like a few min at my Grandma's house.  He hasn't seen E or his 1.5 year old granddaughter.

tmac1022

you're dad sounds like a winner, he and my mom could be friends!

I agree with pp don't answer your phone if they call. Just go to the pool and enjoy your time with J. Don't stress yourself out and don't put yourself in an uncomfortable situation, it's not fair to you or to Josie.

Good luck! 

desalka

If your father wants to see you then he can come to you instead of you packing up the baby and driving if rush hour...and did you mention the beltway at rush hour?  Uhh you have my prayers there.  Why go out of your way for someone who obviously doesn't feel a connection?  I am sorry you don't have the support (or the love as it seems) of your father.  OTOH....The pool and a/c sound great!

Bailey81

I'm really sorry. You're a bigger person than I am for thinking about going to dinner once.

pazrana

Hmmm... didn't you, "just start nap training"?? Can't interrupt that process!

I totally understand though, my papadukes has yet to meet S and probably won't. I don't think you get to be a grandparent if you weren't a parent. 

Luckily my FIL is an awesome grandpa so S still has him! 

SnoopyLuv

You all are awesome for making me feel like a normal person and not a shittastic one for wanting nothing to do with him. Appreciated!