2nd Trimester

Raising your child without gender...

Re: Raising your child without gender...

  • Confused

    Irish girl--loves her family. / Heart of gold, fo' sho! / Hates seeds with passion.
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  • Forgive me for speaking frankly...but that sounds stupid.  
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  • I'm glad I'm not related to them....

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  • It's not practical at all, and completely ridiculous.  While they're trying to "free" their children, they're actually shackling them down to a lifetime of questions and interrogation that they did not ask for.  

    I support efforts like letting boys be cheerleaders and girls play sports, or not caring what colors children wear or making assumptions about them because they are one gender or another.  I do NOT think they are doing their children any service by pretending gender does not exist. 

  • i have never really thought about it...but truly an interesting article!! i wish i could keep dibs on this family to see how it all turns out (i'm hoping positively :))
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    That came to mind immediately.

    I think these people should stop being freaking weirdos and just tell people what the sex of their baby is.  Give me a break. 

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  • All i can see happening is really confused children who will one day be really angry with their parents.  Maybe I'm wrong, I hope i am for the kids sakes.
  • seriously, why do people need to push their sh!t onto their innocent children?  there is a way to go about it without isolating themselves from their community by being so extreme.

    just let them choose their own clothes, let them choose if they want to play with dolls or trucks and just let them be children without trying to prove a point and making a mockery out of their entire family. 

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  • um i feel like this mom might not shave her armpits...hippie much?
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  • ummmmmm.......?

    What happens when {if female} Storm gets her period and all those wonderful curves that get handed out to most girls in their mid-teens? Girls don't have to be cream puffs, and I don't think boys need to be uber macho, but complete androgyny seems mighty ridiculous. I don't usually support the whole "fitting in" philosophy, but I think being raised genderless would make for a lot of insecurity. After all, people come in only two specific "brands," and feeling as though you are not necessarily either one could be a little....unsettling.

  • image jonnygurl76:

    seriously, why do people need to push their sh!t onto their innocent children?  there is a way to go about it without isolating themselves from their community by being so extreme.

    just let them choose their own clothes, let them choose if they want to play with dolls or trucks and just let them be children without trying to prove a point and making a mockery out of their entire family. 

    THIS 

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  • They didn't say they don't tell the kid what he/she is, they just don't tell anyone else. They're keeping people from pushing what they "think" are the right gender roles on their children. I wouldn't do it, but I think when the kid grows up he/she will have a really strong feeling of self rather than confusion. So much of who we are is based on other people, it would be interesting to see how it turns out. 

  • I'm sorry but this is stupid. There are things girls can do and boys cannot and vice versa. Also part of how kids come to understand about themselves is how others see them. So ignoring gender to others is not helpful to the child because it could hurt them later if they need help from someone other than their parents. Like PPs, I think these parents are imposing their ridiculous beliefs on their innocent children.
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  • Honestly, I think their hearts are in the right place, but concealing the child's biological sex will probably do more harm than good. One of the studies cited in the article noted how little parents' influence affects gender choices anyway. So, I say don't hide the child's sex, but support him or her in being whoever he or she wants to be when she starts making those choices on her own. 

    There's a great children's book about this by a NON-HIPPIE mom called My Princess Boy: http://www.amazon.com/My-Princess-Boy-Story-about/dp/0615395945 

    Also, here's a great interview with the mom: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=132652507

     

    As a side note, not all of us who choose not to remove every body hair are hippies. Just sayin. 

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  • I'm sorry, but I think what they are doing is a disservice to their children, especially Storm.  We are all (well, with a few exceptions) born one gender or the other.  It's a fact of life- and neither gender is better or worse.  It's part of you.  And I firmly believe that there are biological differences between males and females, that are able to be seen when a child is very young. 

    ?In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, ?Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!.? Witterick writes in an email.

    There is nothing to discover.  Either Storm is or isn't a male or female.  And by saying that disclosing his or her sex will make her any less free is ridiculous.  Shouldn't they raise their children to ignore the gender stereotypes and rise above them, rather than run away from the issue completely.

     

    I'm pretty traditional, and our family has traditional male/female roles.  But I also do not force my son to play with trucks, or refuse to let him wear clothes because they are pink.  My son has baby dolls, watches princess movies, and has dressed up in dresses.  I do draw the line at girl's clothes... he's never asked to wear them, but if he did, I would not buy a item of clothing from the girl's side.  He does have several pink shirts (that he looks adorable in!), and it angers me when people make comments about how I'm raising him to be "gay" or turning him into a girl.  Come on people... it's just a shirt.  As far as his hair goes- he keeps it short like daddy- because like most little boys, he wants to be just like daddy.

  • did anyone else think it ironic that the mom wants to give her children all this "freedom of choice", but doesn't want them to go to school? How would they even know it's an option if they've never been? All the gender stuff aside, I find it kind of hilarious when people say "Here's your freedom, but I won't allow you to see all the options".
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  • That all just seems silly to me. Perhaps they don't want other people's opinions swaying how their child is treated, but isn't giving boys trucks and girls dolls supposed to help them identify with the world around them? I think by going genderless, they are robbing their baby with the experiences that truly make us who we are.
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  • I understand their intentions, but this is ridiculous.  How can parents like this say they want to give their children all this freedom and then make completely ridiculous choices for them without their say?  There is a difference between sex and gender and while the child has no choice about their sex, they can decide on their gender.  There are lots of influences out there about each gender, but it should be up to the child to determine which influences they want to incorporate into their identity instead of the parents deciding that the kid needs to figure it out on their own.

    My random question is: What will they do when, without outside influence, their daughter decides to be a cheerleader and later wife and homemaker?  Will they judge her?   

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  • It wouldn't take long for the child to figure it out. Especially if in day care. Their teachers would tell them. As a preschool teacher for 12 years I know that almost all preschools require gender education as one of their themes. And even younger, in daycare, the teachers send the kids to their gender specific restroom before the kids are old enough to talk, around 18mo old, when they start potty training.
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  • dlast09dlast09
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    Indifferent

    Wow.

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  • image JuneMagnolia:
    image jonnygurl76:

    seriously, why do people need to push their sh!t onto their innocent children?  there is a way to go about it without isolating themselves from their community by being so extreme.

    just let them choose their own clothes, let them choose if they want to play with dolls or trucks and just let them be children without trying to prove a point and making a mockery out of their entire family. 

    THIS 

    I agree. If this is really a message that is close to their hearts and they want to spread, why don't THEY (they parents) buy unisex clothing and get gender neutral haircuts and let everyone guess whether they are male or female? So tired of parents guinea pigging their kids. If it's something YOU feel strongly about, then make the changes in your own life. Teaching your children acceptance, tolerance, and love is never done by creating a bubble around your child (no matter what the issue). Teaching them these skills in the REAL WORLD in REAL ways is better equipping them than some social experiment that ostracise's them.

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  • Yeah I think that approach is a bit extreme.
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  • I had read about this couple and personally I simply cannot agree with what these parents are doing.  Raising a healthy, well balanced child is hard enough without turning them into a psychology experiment.  I don't see how this couple's kids are not going to grow up without a lot of confusion and questions, not to mention their own psychological problems after dealing with what these parents are putting them through.
  • This is a terrible way to raise children.  It sounds to me like the eldest child in that family is already confused and altered by the crazy parenting techniques.  The picture of Jazz looks just like a girl, yet he is a boy.  Other kids will be confused by this and Jazz will probably have trouble making friends.  Who wants to do that to their kids?  They're setting them up for a lifetime of ridicule.  A social experiment, but the kids have no choice.  When they're old enough to know what their parents were doing, it's too late.  They will have already endured for such a long time, it won't matter what they choose.

    The world doesn't really influence our choices all that much, if we don't let it.  The point is to raise children with a will to rise above the influences that they see as morally incorrect or otherwise unsavory, and choose to instead follow the path that they were TAUGHT is right.  Someone has to teach them.  You can't let kids choose everything.  Otherwise, the kids will grow up telling Cops that pull them over for speeding, "Well, Officer, Mom and Dad said it was my choice whether or not I conform so I will not accept that ticket."  (Not to mention walking all over people in authority over them, such as parents, school teachers, etc.)  Social retardation will follow.  If their kids think it's acceptable to fart during dinner at public place, they'll grow up doing so and when they are older, they'll get ridiculed for it.  AND who wouldn't ridicule them for farting in public?  Proper etiquette.  Etiquette is okay.  What is wrong with wearing a suit & tie if you're male and a cocktail dress if you're female, at a dinner party?  Does the dress define you as a person? NO!  It only defines your sex so others may know they are talking to a lady about tampons, instead of a dude.  These DEFINING things such as wardrobes were invented for a reason.  Why the need for more confusion?  That's all this situation is creating.  Confusion.

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