Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

DH & I CANNOT agree :-( Please help!!!

BAckground:

DH has insomnia issues.  He also takes meds for ADHD (stimulant) that probably affect his sleep too.  He takes a rx sleeping pill at night, but it doesn't always work.  In these cases, if he wakes up / is woken up, he can be up for 1-3 hrs before getting back to sleep.  Makes him a complete SOB to live with.

DD#2 has never been a good sleeper.  She has always cried out at least 1-2 times per night (in her sleep or awake, not sure).  Anyway, she has only recently started falling back asleep on her own without my help.

Her canine? teeth have been hell, so I started giving her kid's advil at bedtime.

Well, I am *pretty* sure her teeth aren't an issue any longer and her night time crying is just her-being-her KWIM?

Anyway, DH wants me to keep giving her the advil at bedtime....in his mind, she's crying in pain and feels it helps her sleep...therefore helping him sleep.

I do NOT like giving her advil at all....let alone every night indefinitely.....

It's causing major stress & resentments.  He feels I am putting DD#2 before him and his needs for sleep yadda yadda yadda.

But, I don't think it's healty to take ibuprofin every day...and I think DD has to learn to outgrow this nighttime crying on her own KWIM?  She was going back to sleep after maybe 5 minutes...now, the minute she cries, he's bitching at me to go give her more advil :-(

Any suggestions?

Re: DH & I CANNOT agree :-( Please help!!!

  • I do not think that advil daily is a solution.  Can you put some sort of white noise source in your bedroom to help your husband sleep? 
  • JKB1986JKB1986
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
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    Ear plugs for him!  I wouldn't give Advil every night either.
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  • Give it to her so he can see it is not helping.  DH and I had a similar argument and we gave her the tylenol and she still cried.  I was convinced it was her teething but oviously it was not.  Embarrassed 
  • I hate missing sleep so I feel for your husband BUT how does he think it's better to put himself above her by putting medicine in her little body that she doesn't need? I'd tell him to sleep on the couch honestly.
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  • image elmoali:
    I hate missing sleep so I feel for your husband BUT how does he think it's better to put himself above her by putting medicine in her little body that she doesn't need? I'd tell him to sleep on the couch honestly.

    YES!  My thoughts exactly.  I don't think it's safe / healthy for a 28lb little body to have ibuprofin in it every day :-(

  • image ssmith325:
    He feels I am putting DD#2 before him and his needs for sleep yadda yadda yadda.

    Isn't this part of being a parent?  Stop giving the ibu and work on her sleeping.  Your H should get some earplugs, white noise machine or move to another part of the house.  It kind of sounds like your H thinks popping a pill will solve everything.  I am not anti-pill, but it sounds like you think she doesn't need medicine, so why give it to her?

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  • Definitely don't give it to her if you don't think she needs it.

    One of my former students (I'm very close with the family which is how I know this information) used to be given Dimetapp on a daily basis by her mom keeping her asleep 18 hours a day at 2 years old! She now has learning issues and rheumatoid arthritis. It is hard to say how much her issues have been effected by the Dimetapp dosing and how much would have been present anyway, but I'd hate to be in that position.

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  • He sounds like he is being a child. She doesn't need it everyday. She is probably going through a sleeping phase. My daughter has this happen to her where she will have trouble sleeping. 

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  • As an insomniac myself, I hate having to take a sleeping pill every night to sleep.  I definitely wouldn't give your lo ibuprofen to sleep at night.  If it were me, I would be afraid that my lo would build up tolerance to it, and it wouldn't work when it needs to. It sounds like your dh believes that everyone "needs" something in order to sleep.   I agree with the other pp and your dh needs to listen to you, and you might even try to loop in your pedi. 
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  • Your husband should only be taking his ADHD medication in the morning and it should wear off by the evening, it may affect his sleep but you should contact his Dr to see about adjusting the prescription. And get him earplugs. If he needs to hear the alarm to get up in the morning, either have him sleep with one ear plug in or have him take them out once your DC is asleep. In no way should a child ever be given a daily dose OF ANY medication unless prescribed by a Dr. Please contact your pediatrician if the waking persists and begins to disrupt her routine. Please stop giving her Advil immediately!
  • An adult shouldn't have advil every day much less a toddler, so tell your DH that you will not continue doing that and you don't care how much sleep he loses.

     

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  • DD experiences sleep regression after every illness/teething incident.  It's tempting to medicate for every cry after they've been sick, but I think you're doing the right thing.

    I have no advice for you DH.  Can you make him sleep in the living room?

  • steverstever
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
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    As someone with ADHD(currently unmedicated) and sleep issues(also unmedicated), I can say that your H is wrong and being selfish. That's me putting it nicely.

    Seriously, you can't give kids pain meds in perpetuity.

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