3rd Trimester

second time moms

Are you feeling a little nervous about not seeing DC1 much during the hospital stay? Maybe this is my own fault but me 16 month old has never spent a night away from us. On top of it I'm having a C-section so I won't be able to pick her up and interact with her as much right in the beginning. I'm worried for my baby girl and for my poor parents who will be taking care of her while I'm in the hospital. DH will be a great help too I'm sure but just wanted to voice these concerns a little. It's hard enough leaving bean at daycare and she will be home with me the week before sprout arrives. I miss her already!

Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.

Re: second time moms

  • yes, i have a big problem with seperation anxiety with my 17 months on NOW so i know its gunna be hard for me to go without him especially because he's my little shadow =] i cant even sleep without him in my bed sometimes. oh gosh i miss him already and he's sitting right here lol
  • I'm not so much worried about when we're in the hospital as when we get back home and we can't focus all our attention on DD anymore. We are about to turn her whole world upside down and I am feeling major mommy guilt about it :(
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  • I miss her already just thinking about being away for a few days, but she'll be at our house and her sitter's house (whom she loves) and Daddy will be going home part of each day to be with her and bring her up to see me and meet her baby brother.  It's easy to sit here prior to delivery and worry about her but as mean as it sounds I probably won't be thinking much about her when it's actually happening.  I'll need to take advantage of the private time I'll have with DS to bond with him.
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  • So glad I'm not the only one!
    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
  • Yes! I am really stressed about this part. My H works a ton and we live 1000 miles from family, so it's just me and DS all the time! He is 25 months and isn't happy even being away from me for a few hours.

    We have a lot of friends who have offered to watch him in labor, and after that I'll send H home to spend the nights with him while I'm at the hospital. I know they'll come visit but I'm sure he'll be totally freaked out. I wish we lived near family that he knew well so I'd know "oh he'll be happy with Grandma" but that is just not the case! Sad Oh well - we'll all get through it and be fine I am sure!

  • Yes ... that's going to be the worst part. DS has never woken up in the morning without me in the house (no one close enough to baby-sit overnight) and the hospital only allows siblings to visit during visiting hours. Not that I would want him to stay in a hospital overnight, but I think it will be tough for him to have to leave me when it's time to go. He's still really attached to mommy, too.

    DH is going to spend nights at home this time to give DS a sense of normalcy. I'm just hoping I have another vaginal birth so I have only a minimal hospital stay to deal with.

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  • i was hospitalized this time around and didnt get to see my little girl for over 3 days.  she is 21 months and had never had a night away from me or my husband before.  I guess the whole time we were gone (my husband spent as much time with me each day as humanly possible) she would look around and ask for us.

     

    I have been sick and sore most of the pregnancy i have had very little time to play directly with her on the floor or let her bounce and jump on me.  I have found though that she is very smart.  If you treat your child like they will have the potential to understand, they will.  you just have to explain it simply and repeatedly. your little one will still love you, even with the c-section keeping you immobile (at least to one that small)

     

    i am having a repeat cs this time myself.  I already feel bad for my little girl but i have been working on ways of teaching her to play with me like bringing toys to the couch instead of on the floor, encouraging book reading time (she loves animal pictures), or just watching a discovery show about babies on tv.  she 'helps' mommy with dishes by playing with her plastic bowls in and out of the dishwasher.  she is learning (slowly) how to use crayons without eating them.  this is a fun thing, we use a convertible booster chair (instead of a high chair) i can now take off the tray portion and push her up to the table.  while we do not use this for food yet, i will tap down a large piece of drawing paper (12x18) and just let her go.  there is more than enough space and i can sit/rest/or do something else in eyesight.  we still have a lot of fun, i just tell her mommy is a little sick today. 

     

    I know that is going to change a little bit with the new one coming and having to divide my attention.  But i hope she is learning fun ways to play with me around, just not directly with her.  Doesnt mean I dont feel bad.  I know I am missing out on an opportunity right now that I wont ever have again, even with the second, simply because there will be two of them.   But I know I have to do what is healthy for me and her new little sister.  That doesnt change after birth.

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  • Yes, my DS usually only spends 1 night away from us and, even then, I drop him off around bedtime and pick him up right after breakfast.  He loves spending the night with our aunt though so perhaps at least he will enjoy his stay.  Maybe DH will be able to leave the hospital and go spend some time with him during the day while I'm at the hospital.  We'll see...

    When I went on a hospital tour of labor & delivery, I saw a little girl about my son's age wearing a "Big Sister" t-shirt standing outside one of the rooms crying.  I couldn't help but tear up (I'm soooo hormonal) thinking that is gonna be DS (and me).

  • Very nervous. Since coming home from the NICU at about a week old DD has never been away from me except a few hours at a time. So it's a little nerve wracking but I know she will be fine. To help me get ready my mom and sister are taking me on out of town shopping trip without DD next month. I will be gone possibly two nights same as hospital stay assuming that I do not get a admitted before hand like I did with her. I know it will be hard but it will do us some good to have a break from each other. We are literally together almost 24/7 with short 2 to 3 hour breaks. 
  • No, my DD will be almost 4 and we leave her with her Grandparents at least once a year to get away.  She'll be fine.
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  • No. He will be at our house with my mom/sister who watches him all the time. I'm worried about coming home with the new baby and having some serious jealously issues going on and not being able to give him the attention he normally gets.
  • image mbritto4:
    No, my DD will be almost 4 and we leave her with her Grandparents at least once a year to get away.  She'll be fine.

    This EXACTLYYes

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  • image Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha:
    I'm not so much worried about when we're in the hospital as when we get back home and we can't focus all our attention on DD anymore. We are about to turn her whole world upside down and I am feeling major mommy guilt about it :(

    yup, she goes for sleepovers pretty often, its the aftermath that worries me

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  • We are due the same day! And yes, I am already super worried. I SAH and very rarely leave ds (18 months), but in order to prepare for the big day I did a practice sleepover for him at my grandparents(who he will be with when the day comes) to prepare both me and ds. I had never left him for more than 2-3 hours, let alone a whole night, but it went alright. I struggled to sleep, but ds only woke up twice asking for me and did well. I've been having him go to my grandparents for several hours each week too. I think since he is getting more use to being there on a regular basis, that it should be a little easier for him. DH is going to stay home with him the second night, so he will only have to be away from home 1 night.
    Mom to 2 healthy boys, and a baby girl in Heaven. Heard her heartbeat on 7/18, heartbeat was gone on 7/20. Miss you forever.
  • Yes I was feeling really uneasy about this too.  I finally left DS (14 months) with my sister overnight.  He'll be staying with her and her family when I go into hospital so it was a relief to me that he had a great time!  She has 2 kids so he really enjoys being around them. 

    I know I will miss him terribly but he's going to have a lot of fun.  Might not be a bad idea to do a trial run beforehand so LO get a taste of being somewhere else overnight.  Good luck!

     

  • Chilz08Chilz08
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
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    Yes. It'll be hard being away from my 19 month old DD with my husband for two nights (I'm having a repeat c-section) - DD and I have never spent a night apart, but I am hopeful she will be fine. My parents will be here to help out while I'm in hospital. I miss her already though, and sometimes it feels as though I am more anxious about the separation than I am about giving birth! Leaving her at daycare is a struggle (for me) every week (though I am told she is fine - "out of sight, out of mind"), so I hope I will cope!
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