Babies: 9 - 12 Months

How much do you get out without baby?

Sometimes, for a split second, I think I'm the old me, the one who doesn't have a baby.  I will think of maybe DH and I should go to a movie tonight or maybe I will have a girls night this week. But then reality comes back to "and who is going to watch the kid?" Now don't get me wrong, love my kid all that jazz, but I miss just doing something spontaneously!

Of course I can still go to a movie or have a girls night but it has to be planned out in advance, we have to make sure my parents are available or another babysitter, I have to decide if it's worth it to dip into the boob juice stash, etc, etc. Plus, I feel bad if two events are close together like oh we can't do anything this weekend because we did such and such last weekend. Most of the time I'm just like nah forget it we'll stay in. So back to my question, how much do you really get out for you or with DH/friends?

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Re: How much do you get out without baby?

  • bancbevbancbev
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Pretty much never.  In almost 10 months, we have gone out twice as a couple, without baby.  Once was for dinner and drinks when we were visiting the inlaws.  The other time was when we were visiting BIL & SIL, and we all got a babysitter, so we could go to a beer festival.

    I have done a girls night, maybe 3 times.  My DH however gets out quite a bit without us.

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  • I've got the opposite problem.  I have ZERO desire to go anywhere without DD.  If she can't go, I don't want to go either.
  • lucy460lucy460
    Third Anniversary

    Basically never. I used to really judge parents like me, but now that I have DS I realize that I already see him so infrequently that I dont' want to spend much time away from him if I can help it.

    But -- we have a 9 day vacation sans baby planned for the fall. (I'm freaking out, btw.)

    Mama to 2 late-term preemies (7/10 & 11/12) due to HELLP Syndrome.
  • Since I spend 8-10 hours a day Mon-Fri away from DS while I'm at work....I usually have no desire to ship him off to a sitter on the weekend.  On average I say we go out once a month sans baby.  If it were up to DH we'd go out more....I don't think dads get the same guilt the mommy's do!


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  • We go out as a couple about once a month.  We have an awesome babysitter that we use (she is a nursing student the local college.)  I also leave DS with DH pretty often on the weekend to run out and do errands and stuff.  DH actually enjoys his "boys day out" as he calls them.  He takes LO to the playground, or with him to get an oil change, or to the grocery store.  It's awesome for me a breather and a chance to get highlights and a mani/pedi as needed =) I also take DS to the gym with me at least 3-4 days a week and he goes to the nursery (he loves it there!)  

    I should add that I will occasionally take DS with me out for a day on the weekend to give DH some downtime as well.  He is in the military and works long days, so I like to give him time to unwind too.  Unlike me, he won't really "ask" me for it, so I just get DS ready and tell DH me and baby are heading to the mall for the morning or whatever.  He is normally playing video games when we get home. 

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  • It's pretty limited, definitely planned, and usually for something I have to do rather than really want to do for fun. Last week I got 3hrs at a bridal shower, this wekeend 3hrs for a baby shower; I got 2hrs last night to run a reception for work. This morning I snuck in 20 mins to myself wandering around Target mostly  looking at makeup. Nights are hard to do with others putting DS to sleep because he's going through stranger anxiety and won't take a bottle from anyone but us or daycare teachers. And I always feel guilty about asking DH to watch son alone, because neither of us get much down time these days. A good friend just mentioned a night for drinks soon, and I think I desperately need it...
    ~Mary & Mike~
    August 18, 2007



  • I know what you mean, nothing is spontaneous anymore....not even sex, most of the time! DH and I get out separately more often than together. DH is a very social person so I don't mind him getting out once or twice a week, I actually like the quiet time at home (DD is usually asleep). And then there are times where I go out and do my thing (play soccer, hang out with the girls, etc) and he knows I need that as well. Sometimes I have to make myself leave the house, it just seems like a lot of trouble to get myself put together enough to go out in public. But once I do it, I'm always glad I did.

    As a couple, we don't get out too often. And it seems like a huge PITA to do so, but it is SOOOO worth it. I always remember why it's important once I make the effort to have 'date night'. For us, it's important to our marriage and to help keep things 'alive'. We have talked about trying to do this once a month, but it's probably more like once every other month.

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  • RitaT22RitaT22
    5 Love Its
    Pretty often. We are blessed to have grandparents watch Gavin for us whenever we want. Sometimes we do things just the two of us, other times it's with friends. We'll go out together, or alone. While we're not out every weekend, I feel it's enough to keep us both sane.
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  • We go out once a week for wings. Sometimes our friends come out, sometimes it's just DH and me.
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  • We get a sitter and do date night once a month.

    I do happy hour with my friends once a month (maybe twice), and DH does the same. I have to or I would go crazy. I need the social interaction w/out baby every now and again.

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  • I meet my friends out weekly for dinner, karaoke or trivia.  DH and I get out once or twice a month.
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  • that's my problem, too!  if i'm out i want him with me! 

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  • I have a monthly bookclub with friends that I go to every other month with out DD, the other months I take her with me so my friends can play with her and DH can get a some alone time.  DH and I try to get out for a date night every 6 weeks or so, it's hard since he is only home on weekends so he wants to spend time with her as well.  Once he is back in town permanently then hopefully we can do date night ever 3 or 4 weeks again.

    I got to go out for the first time since she was born completely alone for something other than the grocery store, work or errands last weekend and it was AMAZING.  I left DD with DH went out got my hair cut, wandered around our old neighborhood, stopped in a book store browsed around, grabbed Thai food from my favorite restaurant and then went to the Gap and tried on cloths.  It was soo nice to just have a few hours to do as I pleased and not feel like I had to rush back home. 

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  • Never. I am a SAHM and have only been away from her to go the doctor and to have my hair cut (three times). I am ready for a break! We don't have any family around to watch DD and, up until the past week, she nursed every 2-3 hours (during the day) and wouldn't take a bottle. This weekend DH and I are going on our first date in a year and I am so excited!

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  • kdm06ckdm06c
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    My DF and I have only been able to get out of the house for a couple hours twice since we had Mathieu. We still have some "us" time in the mornings and late at night but we never go out. 

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