Pregnant after a Loss

Vent about Family (Long)

This is going to be long and Harsh, but I'm at my whits end and I need options.

I'm 16 wks, and My dh cousin fell on hard times and needed to stay with us for what I thought at the time wouldn't be but about a week or two, that was 8 or 9 wks ago, all through the morning sickness and the growing belly. For starters he laughs at everything I eat, every moan, groan and sigh.  He drinks, then spills things on my new carpet and leaves it there till clean it up, If I'm not quick enough he tracks it across the floor.  He dropped a steak covered in steak sause and I still haven't been able to get the stain out (any ideas?) he also "cooks" when he drinks and does things and then forgets what he did like the nakedness in the hallway and out a month ago. Then about 3wks ago my dh went on night shift so he's not evern around this cousin and on the weekends the cousin *disapears* then on sunday night he reappears about the time we start to think he's gone.  He appears late at night with out calling.  we only have one batheroom and he doesn't always flush, was using my razor and keep melting my tupperware. 

So for the million dollar question what should I do to get my home back without ruining the family relationship?  I whould just wait it out but I want to decorate the Nursery, also the guest room and this guy helped my cousin when he was younger, also said cousin is about 45.  Any advice is welcome.  Also Please forginve spelling and grammer.

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Re: Vent about Family (Long)

  • I think the relationship is pretty much over with his horrible behavior.  Ask him to be gone and be done with it.
    BFP #1 - Twin B lost at 5w
    Bryce Addison  I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
    Our baby boy was born sleeping on 9.17.10. He was 19w1d.
    BFP #2 - Twin B lost at 4w
    Twin A
    BFP #3 - Lost at 5w
    BFP #4 - Lost at 4w
    BFP #5

  • Are you guys in a good enough place to simply ask him, "so how much longer until you find your own place?" Is he giving you rent? Is he working?

    TTC since February 2009
    BFP - Ended in m/c - 6/15/10
    BFP - Ended in m/c - 1/2/11
    BFP! - 4/13/11 - grow baby grow!! BabyFruit Ticker
  • not paying rent, he has a house but his utilities are off, he does have a job, but it doesn't pay much.  As far as just asking him to leave, I've been mentioning that I'm ready to decorate and clean the room he's staying in.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • It sounds like a nightmare and about the time for your Dh to say something to him.  Explain that you didn't mind helping out but he needs to leave by such and such date.  Explain that with you pregnant and that it is hard having 3 adults living together, sharing space. 

    Does he have any other family he could stay his parents or siblings?

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  • If your dh won't ask him to leave then I'd change the locks...and yes, I'm serious.    You are being taken advantage of and I don't care if it is family or not.   No one deserves to be taken advantage of.
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  • It sounds like you and your DH need to sit down and agree on a date that the cousin needs to leave by.  Then, sit down with the cousin and inform him of your decision and the date he needs to get out. 
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • image BritanyV:
    If your dh won't ask him to leave then I'd change the locks...and yes, I'm serious.    You are being taken advantage of and I don't care if it is family or not.   No one deserves to be taken advantage of.
    I would be careful changing the locks. In my state, changing the locks to kick someone out of their residence without 30 days notice is unlawful eviction, and here he could theoretically sue you. Just letting you know, as it sounds like you have enough headache from him without legal issues. I would give him a letter (and send one certified mail) giving him 30 days to move out or else.

    Good luck. This sounds like a sh!tty situation. Sad

    TTC since January 2010
    BFP 5/9/10. U/S - no heartbeat 6/2/10 (7 weeks). Induced miscarriage 6/7/10.
    Chemical pregnancies 12/2/10, 1/3/11, and 2/7/11.
    dx: RPL due to poor quality uterine lining; begin progesterone January 2011
    BFP 3/10/11. EDD 11/19/11. E arrived 11/15/11!

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