1st Trimester

Suggestions for getting in the "mood"

I feel really bad for DH. We haven't been intimate since right after we got our BFP (6 weeks ago!). I just can't. I know it's safe but I can't get the idea out of my head that something bad could happen, which kills the mood. Also my m/s and fatigue seem to be worse these days. Plus I just feel fat and unattractive. I really hope this feeling passes. DH hasn't complained yet, but I know he's got to be frustrated by now. For those that have experienced this before, does your sex drive return in the second tri? I'm really considering faking my way through it just so I don't feel like a bad wife anymore. I'm sure I'm making this a bigger deal than DH is but I just can't help feeling GUILTY. Any suggestions?
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Re: Suggestions for getting in the "mood"

  • I've felt that way some----Fat...Unattractive, etc...but your husband doesn't think of you that way I'm sure.  My DH and I have spiced it up a bit lately....i've gone upstairs and used my cell phone to take some racy pictures and then send them to my DH who is downstairs...he runs up the stairs as fast as he can!!  It helps to keep it fun and exciting!

    BFP #1 - 04/11/2011 - EDD: 12/22/2011 -Natural MC 5/18/2011 @ 8w6d BFP

    BFP #2 - 08/12/2011 - EDD: 04/21/2012 1st U/S 9/12/2011 - Healthy baby seen -- Heartbeat at 166!

    BFP #3 - 08/02/2014 - EDD: 04/09/2015 ---Prayers for a take home baby


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    Last time I had no sex drive and we didn't do it very often during the first trimester because I felt sick all the time and exhausted.  One thing I learned are morning quickies are wonderful.  You're on a time crunch so there's really no time to think - just do.  It helped me get past the 1st trimester funk.  Morning quickies also helped when my sex drive was non-existent after my DD was born.  The more quickies we did the better I started feeling about sex and my drive returned.
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  • Fake it till you make it!  My last pregnancy I was in the mood the entire time!  I didn't have m/s all day though.  I'm also hoping things get better soon. 
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  • I felt the same way and didn't want to do anything at all.  I kind of have to force myself to get started but DH finds my pregnancy so sexy that it makes him alot more romantic and so it helps me get into it.  I think what also helps is my hubby understands that I am not going to want to do it as much as before.  It helps that he keeps that ball in my court.

  • hello, im 6 weeks and though it takes a little more time to get in the mood now than before I knew I was pregnant it to me is so much better now that I am pregnant because he has become even more focused on making me feel beautiful and desired because of it. It will come back im sure, and also im sure your DH is understanding of the situation. Good luck Big Smile
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  • I'm not feeling fat or unattractive but I wasn't in the mood for the longest time. Then all of the sudden it slowly started to come back and now the drive it completely back and then some. I think the exhaustion and m/s has a lot to do with it.

    I would just wait it out......

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  • I just try to keep it sexy for him! Send him pics and wear sexy nighties. That helps me to get in the mood, no to mention how it turns me on how arroused he gets just by doing those things! I love to please my hubby, he deserves it!!

  • I've been the same way lately...it's finally starting to get a little better. I agree with the rest, fake it till you make it. I've literally had to force myself to try lately...last night we were laying on the couch and I asked my FI out of the blue if he wanted to, and it was great! Not that I wanted to that badly, but just making yourself try sometimes makes your libido boost!

  • I can relate! The past several weeks I've been feeling bloated and so tired sex is the last thing on my mind. Now that I'm 13 weeks I'm starting to feel more energetic and up for it. I also second the morning quickie suggestion. Gets the day off to a good start for everybody! Plus, for me, I felt fatter as the day went on - the morning was when I felt the most like myself, and the most attractive. Good luck, it'll get better! 
  • I asked DH to send me dirty texts during the day, and that helped get me in the mood.  He's obviously happy to try whatever I suggest in this area :)  Also, if you can do it in the middle of the day, maybe right after a nap, that might help with the tiredness.
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  • I've been so exhausted but DH is very turned on by "pregnant me" so that makes it easier!

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  • I feel the same way right now.

    #1 I am terrified of something going wrong if we do have sex so I won't right now this early.  Because I know if something did happen and it was totally unrelated I would still blame myself.

    #2 The m/s, the constant heaving and such . . . not sexy . . .  

    I know that my DH is more so in the mood now that I am pregnant because the entire idea just turns him on however . . . . I do feel horrible that I just can't right now but I know that he understands and he know's if I was feeling better I would find other ways for us to be intimate but again m/s that seems to just happen all day randomly and unexpectedly makes it impossible right now.

    I'm positive it will pass once you start feeling better and once you get through the the milestone of the 1st trimester.


    Married 2008 TTC since 7/09

    BFP#1 12/30/10 - Natural m/c 1/4/11
    BFP#2 4/21/11 Please little one,be our miracle!! BETA #1 214.56 Progesterone 8.4 BETA #2 1529.00 Progesterone 14.7 BETA #3 4839.00 BETA #4 16,643.00

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