November 2011 Moms

Step-parent Adoption

Tomorrow we have a court date for my husband to adopt my daughter from my first marriage.  We are doing it on our own without a lawyer. My ex is signing over his rights because he doesn't want to pay child support anymore.  He's out of state and won't be at the hearing. I'm so nervous that I couldn't sleep last night. Did we forget anything? Is all the paperwork signed? Do we have the right number of copies of everything? Egh... my stomach is a mess with stess.

Has anyone gone through a step parent adoption? I need some been there, done that advice.

UPDATE : The adoption hearing went perfectly. The judge even congratulated us on getting all our paperwork done properly (unusual for people without a lawyer).  We are officiallly a family with no one feeling "left out". It's an amazing feeling and we are getting our families together to celebrate at the resturant where I first introduced my daughter to her new dad over 4 years ago!     

Thank you to everyone that sounded off on this! Big Smile

Re: Step-parent Adoption

  • I have no experience with this, but I just wanted to say good luck!  I hope everything turns out great tomorrow!!!
  • image jennicg27:
    I have no experience with this, but I just wanted to say good luck!  I hope everything turns out great tomorrow!!!

    Thank you so much! It's a huge deal and everyone wants to have a party to celebrate, but I'm so worried that something will go wrong that I won't let anyone plan anything yet :(

  • My biological father passed away when I was 4 1/2...when I was 7 I was very sad about my mom having a different last name from her new husband and feeling like I was not part of the family.  So her new husband adopted me and my little sister.  They issued us new birth certificates (which I still think is weird) and social security cards with our new last names.  It was a really good thing to keep me and my sister realizing her new husband was our father, and he is who we call "Dad".

    I know you weren't probably wanting it from a kids perspective, but that's my experience with it.

    image
  • image vtcnicely:

    I know you weren't probably wanting it from a kids perspective, but that's my experience with it.

    No, any perspective is fine!  I'm glad it was a positive experience for you. I'm really happy that they will issue my daughter a new birth certificate because it just feels more official that way. My daughter will change her name to match ours as well. Luckily her name sounds good with the new last name! She was also 4 when the relationship between me and her father ended.

  • image wykdsxy:

    Tomorrow we have a court date for my husband to adopt my daughter from my first marriage.  We are doing it on our own without a lawyer. My ex is signing over his rights because he doesn't want to pay child support anymore.  He's out of state and won't be at the hearing. I'm so nervous that I couldn't sleep last night. Did we forget anything? Is all the paperwork signed? Do we have the right number of copies of everything? Egh... my stomach is a mess with stess.

    Has anyone gone through a step parent adoption? I need some been there, done that advice.


    we're actually going to do that for my daughter, who is 4 and my husband... but we're not even sure where to start... lol

    good luck! keep us posted!

  • My coworker adopted her husband's daughter, but she's an adult so it was much easier paperwork wise. She also got a new birth certificate, ssn card, etc. They framed the adoption degree and gave it to him last year for father's day. My only tip is make sure to bring a camera ~ they didn't and were kicking themselves afterward. Best wishes!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I started by going to my county website and finding the "Forms" tab. Under that was listed an "Adoption" tab and then there was a "Step Parent Adoption" file. In the file was step by step insturction on how to do it and where to go. First things first, is a Federal and State background check. That takes several weeks, but once you get it back you're in a time crunch because you only have a certain amount of time to file before the prints expire.

    Good luck!

  • I've been there but as the child not as the parent. My birth father signed his rights away for the same reason.  We only had a lawyer because my grandma was his secretary so it was her Christmas Gift.  I just remember that it was a quick process and we got to go out and celebrate afterwards with huge blueberry pancakes.  Congrats and hopefully it goes quickly and easily for you!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Been there done that without a lawyer and let me tell you the judge was super nice and I did forget to have something done correctly and he told me what to do, and to bring it up to his chambers when we were done. We did and it was taken care of. Really easy. I worried for forever over it and in the end it was a breeze. Don't sweat it the judge is going to be accomodating because there are 2 people who love your child enough to want to raise it. Get some sleep, don't stress.
  • image wykdsxy:

    I started by going to my county website and finding the "Forms" tab. Under that was listed an "Adoption" tab and then there was a "Step Parent Adoption" file. In the file was step by step insturction on how to do it and where to go. First things first, is a Federal and State background check. That takes several weeks, but once you get it back you're in a time crunch because you only have a certain amount of time to file before the prints expire.

    Good luck!

    Thank you so much, and same to you!

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