2nd Trimester

wine during pregnancy??

My friends looked at me kind of funny when I responded to this the way that I did, so I'm looking for some others input on this.

I went to a friend's birthday party the other night and everyone (besides me obviously) had a drink after dinner. She offered me a glass of wine and I looked at her funny as if she was joking. She wasn't. She was actually kind of shocked when I didn't want a glass of wine and went on to say that most pregnant women she knew allowed themselves a glass of wine every week or so. 

When I was retelling the story to a friend, she agreed that an occasional glass of wine is fine during pregnancy. My mom even told me that she'd never drank with my older brother or sister but had a few glasses of wine while pregnant with me. Apparently in some parts of Europe it's completely customary to drink throughout the pregnancy. I feel like if I went to a bar and saw a pregnant woman sipping on a drink I would be completely shocked.

Am I being totally irrational when I find this crazy? Is there anyone out there who has had experience with this? I'm not out to judge anyone I'm really just curious to see what everyone's input is. 

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Re: wine during pregnancy??

  • I would probably allow myself 3 small glasses of wine in a pregnancy.  I personally don't have a problem with an occasional small drink during pregnancy, but I would never do it in public.  It's too taboo.
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  • That's good insight. I guess I would just feel too guilty even if I knew it wasn't going to hurt the baby. Just knowing that I'm doing something that I feel might be harmful I think would do more harm than the actual action itself. Wow that came out confusing, I hope that made sense. It's more the mental anguish I would put myself through that I think would be unfair to the baby. 
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  • I was talking with some of my friends about this, because we were having a dinner party and everyone was drinking wine and I REALLY wanted some, but passed.  I haven't had any alcohol my whole pregnancy.  I have thought about it though. I kinda feel like once Im in my 3rd trimester having an occasional sip or small glass would be ok.  But drinking in earlier pregnancy was scary to me.  I know there are women who do and those who are very against it.  Really, I think its a personal thing.  But I agree with PP, I would only do it in my own home around people who wouldn't be judgmental.  I don't any one thinking I have a problem or telling me that Im hurting my baby. 


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  • I think it's just a personal decision. I don't think anything is wrong with women having a glass of wine during pregnancy, but for myself I choose not to. My midwife didn't recommend it either, basically telling me that studies are inconclusive as to how much alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome or other problems.
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  • image sarteratops:
    Apparently in some parts of Europe it's completely customary to drink throughout the pregnancy. 

     

    No its not. 

     

    However one glass of wine during pregnancy is not going to damage your baby. Think about it this way, if a doctor is fine with pumping you and your baby full a drug that is powerful enough to enduce contractions and/or essentially paralyze the lower half of your body, one glass of wine isn't really going to do much in the way of harming you and the baby.   

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  • I come from Europe and I do NOT drink alcohol in pregnancy, not even an occasional glass. The most I go for is one sip, to taste the wine DH drinks. It is a myth that people in Europe have alcohol in pregnancy.
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  • image Ripli:

    image sarteratops:
    Apparently in some parts of Europe it's completely customary to drink throughout the pregnancy. 

     

    No its not. 

     

     

     

    In the part of Europe in which I live it is perfectly normal for a pregnant woman to have an occasional glass of wine. It's not normal to get drunk or anything like that.  

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  • I used to bartend through College.  And I was of the mind, that I do not judge what other people are drinking.  But i used to have pregnant women order a glass of wine, which to each their own, but WITHOUT fail, EVERY pregnant woman that ordered wine would feel the need to justify to me or the other bartender that they were allowed to have an occasional glass of wine. 

    I personally feel that if you need to justify it to a random stranger that you are allowed to drink, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.  But to each their own.

    That being said over easter my FIL (who clearly knows I'm pregnant) went on a huge apology spree when he realized they only have dry red wines with dinner (when I drank, I was a sweet rose wine drinker), like I've have never heard anyone be so remorseful about a selection of food or drink.  I told him that I'm not drinking.  He looked so confused.  It was strange.

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  • My cousins (who are doctors) gave me crap about drinking nothing at Christmas one year.  They weren't expecting me to booze it up or anything, I think they were just surprised I was in my 3rd tri and not even having a sip of DH's or anything.  I think an occasional half-glass of wine is just fine during pregnancy, but I typically reserve it for a nice dinner at home with DH.  I just don't feel comfortable drinking in social situations while pregnant.  I know my family wouldn't think anything of it or judge, it's just not something that would do anything for me, so why do it.

    IDK, just do what you're comfortable with and leave it at that.  I've come to the conclusion that people are going to judge you no matter what you do so who cares what they think.

  • I wouldn't judge someone for having a glass here and there in the 2nd or especially 3rd tri.
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  • Hm, I don't think you're irrational at all. I would feel very ackward if my FRIEND made me feel bad for not drinking during pregnancy!

    Look, as far as science knows, the jury is still out as to how much alcohol is safe during pregnancy. That's why they say it's better to just avoid it.

    Personally, I've had 1/2 a glass of wine, on our 1 year anniversary and it wasn't even worth it. I may have another 1/2 on our wedding night next month, we will see.

    As for the Europeans drinking during pregnancy, I do think it depends on the country/region. My French friend doesn't find it odd to drink a glass here or there. Other Europeans may avoid it all together.

    And I agree that drinking in public for a pregnant woman is just taboo. I ordered an O'Douls a few weeks ago and felt embarrassed even though I'm not showing! 

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  • I'm in the moderation is key camp, and see nothing wrong with indulging in a glass for a special occasion, or on occasion.  The reason they say no amount of alcohol is safe, is because they don't do testing on pregnant women and their fetuses.  Their is no woman in her right mind that would volunteer to be a guinea pig while pregnant.  As a result, there really aren't any controlled experiments regarding women and alcohol, so we don't know what the result of minimal drinking vs. moderate drinking is.  With that in mind, I would feel comfortable having a glass every once in a while.

    Unfortunately,  DH is adamantly opposed to me drinking anything while pregnant... even just a taste.  A glass of wine isn't worth the amount of arguing, bargaining, and reasoning that would ensue... what good is a nice red, if you can't drink it in peace? Stick out tongue

  • I have been told by my docotr, my high risk doctor, my nurse mother, a friend who is a doctor that having an occasional drink is fine.

    In fact, there are a lot of studies that show that a glass of red wine every once in a while can be beneficial to mother and baby. It is all about moderation. You have a stressful week at work and you want a glass of red wine on a Friday, have one without guilt. Just have only one.

    Personally, I have had a half glass here and there.

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  • I've had a sip of DH's wine whenever he has it. I find it's all I really need-- gives me a taste, but I don't think I could sit down and drink a glass or even half glass. I am just too much of a worrier.

    My GP said NO alcohol, but I haven't see my OB yet so I am curious what they will say.

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  • As you can see from all the responses, it's really a personal decision. Some women do it, others don't. For myself, I don't need or want it badly enough that I can't wait a few more months (and I'm a big wine drinker normally). 
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  • Sarah, I'm with you on this one. Why risk it? No studies have proven the exact amount needed to give your child brain damage, so why risk it? I just don't get it.
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  • I drank half a glass of a nice Cab with my steak last night and it was fan-freaking-tastic.

     

    That said, I felt guilty the whole time I was drinking it ;) 

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  • image TanyaKM:
    As you can see from all the responses, it's really a personal decision. Some women do it, others don't. For myself, I don't need or want it badly enough that I can't wait a few more months (and I'm a big wine drinker normally). 

    This exactly. To each their own, is the saying that comes to mind. I personally don't do it because I don't see the point in only having one glass I'd rather treat myself in some other way.

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  • image marie_0907:
    I think it's just a personal decision. I don't think anything is wrong with women having a glass of wine during pregnancy, but for myself I choose not to. My midwife didn't recommend it either, basically telling me that studies are inconclusive as to how much alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome or other problems.

     

    This, I agree completely! 

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  • I had a 1/2 a glass of wine a little while ago and couldnt finish it because I felt guilty (but thats me, I feel guilt about everything! haha). I love wine and miss it like crazy, and I may have a small glass here and there later on but I am ok with putting it on hold for the next 6-9 months just to be on the safe side.  

    If I saw a pregnant woman drinking, i would think thats her decision and not mine. Everyone is different and if she feels fine doing that, then hey whatever.

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  • I had a glass here and there when pregnant with DD, always when I was eating out, and really never thought too much about it.  With this one we just don't go out to eat like we used to, so don't really think much about it - but I'm sure we'll try to do a nice dinner out in the month or so before the baby comes and I will order a glass of wine, may or may not finish it, and not think anything of it!  But I can understand why women chose not to drink as well. 
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  • My doctor said absolutely no alcohol and I'm fine with that.  There's way too much developing in the baby to risk it.
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  • I did quite a bit research on this, and I felt that it was unnecessary to give up drinking a half glass of red wine occasionally outside of 1st tri. I feel that red wine has health benefits. There's such a stigma against alcohol because people tend to abuse it, but people forget that small amounts are actually beneficial for your body. I truly believe that I wouldnt have carried either one of my children to term without red wine-it was even recommended by my doctor because I had an irritable uterus and painful contractions starting at 18 weeks. It would always stop my contractions and calm me, which was probably extremely beneficial to baby. I'm sure the drugs they pump women to prevent preterm labor are a lot more dangerous than a small glass of wine. In a recent study, they found that babies born to light drinkers had better outcomes than women who obstained from alcohol (or were drunks, obviously. lol).

    Here's a good alcohol about a recent study involving drinking and pregnancy:

    http://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html

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  • image KC_13:

    I did quite a bit research on this, and I felt that it was unnecessary to give up drinking a half glass of red wine occasionally outside of 1st tri. I feel that red wine has health benefits. There's such a stigma against alcohol because people tend to abuse it, but people forget that small amounts are actually beneficial for your body. I truly believe that I wouldnt have carried either one of my children to term without red wine-it was even recommended by my doctor because I had an irritable uterus and painful contractions starting at 18 weeks. It would always stop my contractions and calm me, which was probably extremely beneficial to baby. I'm sure the drugs they pump women to prevent preterm labor are a lot more dangerous than a small glass of wine. In a recent study, they found that babies born to light drinkers had better outcomes than women who obstained from alcohol (or were drunks, obviously. lol).

    Here's a good alcohol about a recent study involving drinking and pregnancy:

    http://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html

    interesting.  thanks for posting this side of the argument.

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  • image KC_13:

    I did quite a bit research on this, and I felt that it was unnecessary to give up drinking a half glass of red wine occasionally outside of 1st tri. I feel that red wine has health benefits. There's such a stigma against alcohol because people tend to abuse it, but people forget that small amounts are actually beneficial for your body. I truly believe that I wouldnt have carried either one of my children to term without red wine-it was even recommended by my doctor because I had an irritable uterus and painful contractions starting at 18 weeks. It would always stop my contractions and calm me, which was probably extremely beneficial to baby. I'm sure the drugs they pump women to prevent preterm labor are a lot more dangerous than a small glass of wine. In a recent study, they found that babies born to light drinkers had better outcomes than women who obstained from alcohol (or were drunks, obviously. lol).

    Here's a good alcohol about a recent study involving drinking and pregnancy:

    http://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html

     

    I read this a few months back and I'm glad you posted it here. It really is an interesting read.

    Personally, I have no issue with having a little bit of red wine here and there, guilt-free. key word being little.

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  • It is horrible that women should have to feel guilty about having 1 glass of wine. Alcohol crosses the placenta? The amount of alcohol in one glass of occassional wine is not nearly as bad as the other chemicals and additives in foods that we have been told are "safe" and even "good" for us to have during pregnancy or at any other time in our lives.

    With my first pregnancy I had a small glass of wine at a wedding when I was in my second trimester. I got horrible heart burn. I didn't have any again. Then with this pregnancy I had some with dinner a few nights ago and it was wonderful and while it was small, I think it helped me relax and put me to sleep. My Dr. said this is perfectly fine. But again, I don't think it is crazy not to have any...I just think that the focus in this debate needs to be more about moderation and what some women do that is not helpful to a growing fetus. Exercise? Excessive sugar intake? There are so many factors that can be bad for a fetus but the alcohol factor is one that so many seem to focus on. Just my thoughts.

    And no, I don't think you are weird at all for not having any. Sometimes I don't have any anyway when I am not pregnant!

     

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  • image TwoStrong:

    It is horrible that women should have to feel guilty about having 1 glass of wine. Alcohol crosses the placenta? The amount of alcohol in one glass of occassional wine is not nearly as bad as the other chemicals and additives in foods that we have been told are "safe" and even "good" for us to have during pregnancy or at any other time in our lives.

     

    You make such a great point here! I cringe when I hear that women drink soda or diet soda while pregnant and eat things like fast food and hormone laden meats and eggs. This makes 1/2 a glass of wine seem like nothing at all. 

    The truth is, we need to look at everything that goes into our bodies, pregnant or not. Thank you for reminding everyone that it's not just the booze that's important!

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  • you're not alone! all of my friends still go to dinner parties or bars, and they reassure me (without me saying anything) that i can have 1 glass of wine. i respond with "i'm aware of that, but i'd rather pass" and they think it's absurd. it's fine if other women would like to risk that, but i never drank heavily before i was pregnant, and i can control myself now, enough, at least, that i don't need a glass of wine. i think some people that haven't been in this situation almost feel like it's expected to drink wine, like your body craves it. with all the MS i've had, i like knowing that i don't have to feel hungover after :) 

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  • I agree with the PP. I would pump and dump to prevent my infant from getting any alchohol in my system so I would not risk it with a developing baby inside of me. The fetus is not as good at clearing the alchohol from their systems as we are, so they are more drunk than you, and they take longer to get sober. Yes, there are benefits of red wine but you can get the same benefits from a glass of real grape juice. Just without the alcohol. Alcohol causes a real developmental disorder. Not something that would happen from eating one too many big macs. The last documentary I saw was theorizing that there is some genetic predisposition to fetal alchohol syndrome and that some mothers can drink and have no problems and others can have one or two and their infant can have the disorder. I personally just do not think its worth playing russian roulette. I have seen fetal alchohol sydrome up close and it's just sad to see something 100% preventable causing a family and child to live with lifelong issues.
    DS Born 10/05/99 DSS Born 7/11/95 BFP 05/11/10 - Missed M/C, D&C 06/23/10 BFP 8/3/2010 - Ectopic, Methotrexate 8/17/10 BFP 1/27/11- Please God let this heart beat strong. Beta1 17dpo-314 Beta2 20dpo-883 Beta3 22dpo-1861 Beta4 25dpo-5918 DS2 Born 10/07/99 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD." 1Sam1v24to28.
  • I drank some beers back in December and on New Years Eve before I found out that I was pregnant. I was very worried about the possible affects on my baby. I told my doctor about it and he said not to worry, that it's people that know they are pregnant and continue to binge drink or drink often that are the ones that cause the greatest risk to their babies.

    If someone is going to drink a glass of wine, just one, then I would think it would be better to drink it with dinner. That way at least it could be absorbed by the food.

    My mom's aunt drank heavily when she was pregnant and I guess my grandma used to say "that baby's swimming in alcohol" and laugh it off. I'm not sure why the older generation drank a lot while pregnant. I guess they didn't have the information on how alcohol affects babies back in their day.

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