Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Fight (vent/long)

Well, there was this guy who I dated for a few weeks in HS, and then all of a sudden he never talked to me again.  Last October I split from my ex-husband and he got in contact with me again and we started being friends again, then when he moved to a bigger city about 40 minutes away he completely started ignoring me again.  I went to this city all the time, but he never asked me to come hang out.  So, about a month ago he contacts me via (of course) Facebook.  He really wants to stop by with his new girlfriend and a friend of his that I knew, even though I was going through pretty bad morning sickness he said that they were only going to stop by for a few minutes and I said okay.  He and his friend were really friendly, but his girlfriend hardly said a single word, and honestly looked like a crackhead, she had a really sallow face and dark circes under her eyes.  A few days later he invited me and my DH to go out ot a movie but not only were we about 150 miles away, my DH didn't like him, so I said we couldn't which we really couldn't.

 So, he contacts me about a week ago and somehow we got talking about those Kindle things and I said I thougth that they were pathetic and that I would prefer to read a real book (which is just because I graduated with an English degree and there is something sacred to me about books, sorry to offend anyone if they have one of these things.)  So he tells me that books are outdated, and their bad for the environment, and I said that they had worked for over 100 years and had worked fine so far.  We ended it at this.

He has always been a know it all, and the more that I thought about it I realized that he was only my friend when it was convienient for him.  When he found a new group of people to hang out with he stopped being my friend and  didn't like that, so I decided to delete him from my friend's list.

So he messages me and asks why I did it and says that he wants to go have dinner or lunch with me and I made up a story that I did it on accident and I was sorry that I had deleted him.  Then I told him that I had thought about it a lot and I didn't want to be his friend because he and his girlfriend are snooty (they always bash the town they live in, which is the same I live in now and it always makes me think "so leave.") and we get in a huge fight.  I tell him that I had just lost my baby (which has been two and a half weeks now and I don't need this and just leave me alone).  Well, he doesn't, and so finally I get mean and I tell him that his gf looks like a crackhead and if she knew how he had "accidentally" broke his infant's arm (I never believed he did it accidently.  I reiterated that I was grieving and to leave me alone and I blocked him.

Well, then I get a message from his girfriend who says that she's not a crackhead, an then has the nerve to tell me that I'm delusional and I to get over the baby I had lost 3 months ago?!  So, I got really pissed and said something like I LOST MY BABY TWO WEEKS AGO YOU B@TCH.  Then I blocked her too.  But I am still so pissed.  I know that I said some mean stuff, but the guy would not leave me alone no matter how much I told him to and I lost it.  And then she has the nerve to tell me that it had been three months, when it had been 2 weeks.  They had visited me a month before and I was pregnant then!  Ugh.  I'm so glad I blocked her and got them both out of my life!

Re: Fight (vent/long)

  • Ugh. That is terrible. You need to block them and continue to not talk to them. Even if it is to comeback at them. Because that is truly gross behavior they are exhibiting. It has been my experience that those kind of people will not stop, even if you tell them repeatedly. You just have to ignore everything they say.

    I had a similar situation with a guy I used to casually hang out with (we never, ever, EVER dated, but we had sex a couple times...a very minimal amount of times) and when something better came along (my husband) I took that opportunity. So then he resented me for "leaving him" and not having sex with him anymore. Even despite that, we were friends from college, so I tried to continue the friendship after, because really all we were was friends with benefits. He just got so vile, and so mean, he would repeatedly call me fat or ugly. He would say things like "If you just worked out and lost weight, you would be so pretty!" I don't need that kind of *** in my life. I'm happy with who I am and my husband is happy with me too. I don't need that interjection from someone who is just a friend. I just got sick of being put down, so I told him exactly what you told that guy, that I did not want to be friends anymore because he was a mean person, and that he should not contact me anymore. So after that he just repeatedly texted me throughout the months. He even went so far as to say "You're such a ***, it doesn't even count that I was there for you when your mom was sick, does it?"....This had me livid, because it my mom was VERY sick, he was never there, and I am not going to pat him on the back for doing something a friend SHOULD do. The whole fact that he brought up my mom who was close to death (and did die a month later) made me SO SO SO angry, I didn't know what to do. I blocked him from EVERYTHING, and he still tries to contact me. 

    So it is hard to get rid of those types of people. Just do what he did and completely cut him out of your life and don't look back. They never change and they are just looking for someone to pay attention to them. They are not your friends if they do things like that, especially at a time when you need them most. They are just leeches.

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  • 1. There is so much ridiculous in this story it's hard to comprehend.

    2. Did the authorities find anything suspect with the broken arm? Because if he was cleared and there's been no further evidence of abuse it's rather douchey that you are telling others that it wasn't an accident.

    3. Unfriend, block phone numbers, don't respond back= all better options than "your girlfriend looks like a crackhead". 

    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
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  • No, the autorities were never called, he lied ot his wife and said she fell off the bed.  He confided in me that he was angry and he squeezed her too hard and that's what broke it, and I'm not telling ANYONE else, I just asked him if he had told his girlfriend, in fact, I just told my DH about it last night and he is the ONLY person that I have ever told.
  • image babyhubbardinme:
    No, the autorities were never called, he lied ot his wife and said she fell off the bed.  He confided in me that he was angry and he squeezed her too hard and that's what broke it, and I'm not telling ANYONE else, I just asked him if he had told his girlfriend, in fact, I just told my DH about it last night and he is the ONLY person that I have ever told.

    I'm sorry if I come off hash, but I think it's disgusting that you haven't reported that. He admitted to breaking his child's arm and you kept that to yourself? Seriously?!?!?!

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  • image babyhubbardinme:
    No, the autorities were never called, he lied ot his wife and said she fell off the bed.  He confided in me that he was angry and he squeezed her too hard and that's what broke it, and I'm not telling ANYONE else, I just asked him if he had told his girlfriend, in fact, I just told my DH about it last night and he is the ONLY person that I have ever told.

    Ummm.... what?

    Is there a reason you didn't tell anyone? His wife if nothing else? 

    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
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    "It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
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  • It had happened two years ago in California and I couldn't get ahold of his ex.  At the time I really did believe that it was an accident, until recently when I started thinking about it more, but now I can't even think of his ex's name to say anything and I don't know if I can still contact California police or if the statute of limitatons has gone by.  I really believed it was an accident.  So, if everyone could get off my back for this I would really appreciate it, I would automatically report child abuse, but I believed the jerk.
  • image babyhubbardinme:
    It had happened two years ago in California and I couldn't get ahold of his ex.  At the time I really did believe that it was an accident, until recently when I started thinking about it more, but now I can't even think of his ex's name to say anything and I don't know if I can still contact California police or if the statute of limitatons has gone by.  I really believed it was an accident.  So, if everyone could get off my back for this I would really appreciate it, I would automatically report child abuse, but I believed the jerk.

     

    I am really really sorry for your loss and this is a really horrible situation. But....... these ladies are the most supportive women in the world and are all dealing with the loss of a child. You allowed child abuse to go unreported, unpunished, and unacknowlegded. I don't care if it was an "accident" it should still have been investigated,  and how dare you say "get off my back". We would all be so blessed to have a child in our lives, and yet you allowed this child to live it's life in at least the wake of ONE unreported SERIOUS abuse.  These women  will always be supportive, but the attitude you just presented offends me. No one will "get off you back" you openly let an infant get their arm broken without reporting it to the police or CPS.

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  • image babyhubbardinme:
    It had happened two years ago in California and I couldn't get ahold of his ex.  At the time I really did believe that it was an accident, until recently when I started thinking about it more, but now I can't even think of his ex's name to say anything and I don't know if I can still contact California police or if the statute of limitatons has gone by.  I really believed it was an accident.  So, if everyone could get off my back for this I would really appreciate it, I would automatically report child abuse, but I believed the jerk.

    Get off your back? Are you kidding me? You didn't report child abuse, that is deplorable. You should still contact the California authorities and tell them what you know and let them decide if they are going to pursue charges. You don't just shrug it off and say "eh oh well." It wasn't an accident. Breaking your child's arm in a fit of rage is called abuse. He didn't leave a red mark on their butt from a spanking, he physically broke a bone. 

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  • Ok, I know I'm not on this board much any more but I am gonna go ahead and call this MUD... it seems like a lot is being slung around.  And if it's not MUD, then sorry my bad but COME ON!!! 

    Breaking an infants arm on purpose is deplorable.  Not saying anything to the police or cps is opprobrious.   If you don't understand either of the two big grown up words I used then I can probably understand why you stood back and did nothing about the situation.

    Moving on to your recent interactions with this man... speechless for how you handled that situation.  I honestly wish you the best in recovering from your loss, but this recent interaction with him seems like it will be very detrimental.  IMHO I would cut all ties.

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