San Antonio Babies

baby last name

i was with this guy for almost 6 yrs. and we split up as i was 3mths pregnant cuz he wanted to be with "his friends". he claims he's gonna be around for the baby sake, but yet has only gone to maybe 4 doctors appointments since the breakup. now i am 8 1/2 mth pregnant and i am still debating on putting his last name on our son. what to do?

Re: baby last name

  • nattnnattn
    Fourth Anniversary
    member

    Well, that's a decision only you can make. Personally, if it were me, I would give the baby my last name. You don't know at this point how much the dad is going to be around, but you know you're going to be there for your baby. I would think once the baby gets older, he would want his name to be the same as whoever is around for him. Yeah, his dad might step up, but you sound unsure at this point and I don't think you're going to really know for awhile.

    Sorry about the breakup. I had a 5 year relationship that ended and it hurt. My husband now is so wonderful and I see what a jerk the other guy was. He was VERY into his friends and I'm so glad I didn't end up with him. I hope you're doing okay and know there's someone great out there for you. 

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  • If it were me, I would give the baby your last name but this is a decision you really need to make for yourself.  It is a really personal decision to make.

     

     

    I regret giving my daughter her father's last name.  He was involved for the first 6 months or so, but hasn't seen her in more than 2 years.  Now she is stuck with a surname belonging to a family that she has never known and probably never will.  I cant change it at this point without his permission which he will never give for any reason. 

  • In your situation, I would give my baby my last name.  I was a little apprehensive about giving my son his fathers last name at first, and we were together.  Now we are married so it worked out for us.  But if he wasn't a part of my pregnancy so far, no.
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  • If he's already flaking before the baby is born, then I'd say definitely don't give the baby his last name. If it works out down the line you can always change it, but if it DOESN'T work out atleast you won't have to see his last name all the time as a reminder of the jerk.

    Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

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