1st Trimester

Anti-breastfeeding family is driving me nuts! Vent

I know it's too early to worry about this, but I am almost at my wits end with my family! I mentioned that I planned to breastfeed to my mother, who is quite possibly the least maternal person on the planet, and she told me it was "sickening" and to "go buy a bottle". My MIL mentioned getting me some covers to drape over the baby for church and other places when I was feeding, and my cousin starts talking about how weird it is because people "know what you're doing under there". I said if my baby is hungry, it's going to be fed, breastfeeding is completely natural. She replied that I should go to the bathroom or out to the car when I needed to feed the baby. This upsets me SO much! Why should I have to feel ashamed for wanting to feed my (future) child!
BFP: 3/28/2010 Beta #1-120, Beta #2-590 EDD: 12/7/2011 HB: 109 BPM on 4/15 HB: 167 BPM on 5/13! 7/18 IT'S A BOY!
"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me the petition which I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

Re: Anti-breastfeeding family is driving me nuts! Vent

  • I'm sorry your family is not being supportive. I know how tough that can be. 

    We told my Bf's mom last night that we had a consult with a birthing center yesterday and she basically told us that midwives don't know what they are doing and I, the baby or both of us will likely end up dead. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker

    image
  • I breastfed DD for a year and I am the only one in my family that I know of who has breastfed their baby. I personally would leave the room if we had company or we were somewhere visiting and I would go to the car if I was in public. This was all my personal choice, though ( I am rather large chested to begin with so I was just more comfortable in private). Nobody ever said anything negative until she started getting older. Then I had the "Isn't she getting too old for that" comments. I just ignored all that because I know it was best for my child. Just do whatever you are comfortable with. You know what's best for your child.

    image
    BabyName Ticker
    image

  • you shouldn't feel ashamed at all! they should feel ashamed at how ridiculous they're behaving. 
    my family is all about breastfeeding...but i'm really unsure of my husband's. when my MIL was talking to us about WIC, she mentioned that it's great because it covers your formula. (i didn't say anything.) then, a few weeks later, my husband and i were visiting them, and i heard her in the other room, making a joke to my husband, "you know that when the baby's here you're gonna have to go buy it's formula, right? you can forget or do it later!" 
    she has no idea that i plan to breastfeed, but i seriously think she's going to find issue with it. husband doesn't think so...but she seems pretty set on the idea that we're formula feeding...and for no reason.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image checkrdtop:

    I'm sorry your family is not being supportive. I know how tough that can be. 

    We told my Bf's mom last night that we had a consult with a birthing center yesterday and she basically told us that midwives don't know what they are doing and I, the baby or both of us will likely end up dead. 

    you can't see me, but i'm doing a major eye roll right now...SERIOUSLY? ugh. she needs to watch "the business of being born." right now. i'm looking into going the same route, but am concerned that it won't be covered by our insurance. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world and it is absolutely and completely NONE of your family's business. I would just stop talking to them about it. Sorry they aren't being supportive!
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers image image
  • image rubyjem00:
    Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world and it is absolutely and completely NONE of your family's business. I would just stop talking to them about it. Sorry they aren't being supportive!
    I don't intent to bring up the topic with my mother again, I just know when the baby gets here and she sees that I am really going through with it there will be so many negative comments. I think I am the first person in the family to breastfeed, so I guess it was assumed I would formula feed. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with FFing at all, I would just rather do the absolute best thing for my baby, if my body cooperates. My mother is unfamiliar with this, she has always put herself first.
    BFP: 3/28/2010 Beta #1-120, Beta #2-590 EDD: 12/7/2011 HB: 109 BPM on 4/15 HB: 167 BPM on 5/13! 7/18 IT'S A BOY!
    "For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me the petition which I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5
  • Such a shame... Know that there is a whole community of nursing mothers who support you 100%!

     

    I never got any grief over nursing my son... but he'll be two in a couple of weeks and he's still nursing. I've intentionally stopped mentioning nursing to my family because I know they'll think it's been way too long... regardless of how supportive they've been about the topic in general.

  • Booo and hiiiiissss on her! BLAH!

    You stick to your guns! It may be hard, and w/o family support it's going to be more difficult, but you can do it!

    I'm totally one of those people that just wants to piss people off that say " you can't" I just have to prove them wrong.

    GL!!

    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Good for you for knowing that you want to do it, even without their support!  The long list of benefits are hard to pass up, just because every body else isn't on board with it.  Its your baby and your boobs, I fail to see how anyone else thinks their opinion is wanted or needed where those two are concerned! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am sorry they are not being supportive.  I am lucky my mom is a lactation consultant so I can't imagine your frustration.  Tell your family to try eating their next meal with a blanket over their head or in the bathroom.  


    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • Sorry that they are not being supportive.  I am in the same boat.  Hopefully once the baby comes, everyone will chill and withhold judgement.  GL!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/33e2da" rel="nofollow">Chart


  • That really sucks!  If you have a La Leche League anywhere near you, I recommend going all through your pregnancy.  You will get so much support from that.  I'm constantly amazed at the ignorance of people when it comes to breastfeeding.  I am still nursing my 16 month old once a day.  When she was a baby, I didn't always cover.  One time, when my son was about 6 months old, we were out to dinner for DH's birthday.  He was nursing, I was completely covered, and his aunt said "I don't know how people can do that.  It's gross.  You should go to the bathroom."  I told her to go to the bathroom and eat her dinner in there, and maybe I'd consider it.  She never made another comment.

    Our society has sexualized breasts so much, so they automatically thing breasts shouldn't be used for anything else.

    Don't be ashamed for wanting to do something so wonderful for your child.  It is completely natural, and your milk is made just for your baby based on his/her needs.  No other milk, breast or formula, will be as perfect for that child as your own milk.

    Rachel

    Kylee 9/20/06 Elijah 10/13/07 Adleigh 12/9/09 Micah 12/17/11

    image


    image

  •  "the business of being born." --->  Great documentary!  Yes

    And put me in the confused category on this, but why DON'T people think of breast feeding as the first choice? I know now that sometimes milk doesn't come in or its a health reason and stuff, but other than that, why wouldn't a mom bf? Or at least pump for that matter? I guess thats for a whole other message board... I just assumed that bf was everyones preferred choice, since thats what boobs are for. I do pray though that our child is not lactose intollerant like I am, bc then I would have to use formula.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Please, I know how you feel.  People in my family kept asking me when DD was 6 months. "so when will you stop?  Don't you think she is big for that?".  Um, last I checked babies had bottles till well over a year.  So that was my plan.  They got used to it.  but you have to learn to ignore people.  Never leave a room unless you want to.  I recommend the book the nursing mothers guide to breastfeeding. 

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers


    image image
  • Never too early to deal with this subject. :)

    BFing, like many things, has gone though cycles of being "trendy" and "uncool".  It's nuts, really, because it's natural and the best thing for baby, so I don't understand how it could ever have become taboo, but it did.  In our parents generation, very few women BF'd.  One of my mother's friends told me that at the time, it was what poor people did, because if you were rich, you could afford the formula.  (Support the pharmaceutical companies!)  Now, it seems that many people breastfeed, but those on public assistance and WIC are more likely to get formula.  Social norms and stereotypes are so damaging to all of us.

    Check out the La Leche League in your area, and their website.  Also, mothering.com has lots of good info.  Most of all, stick to your guns - you are making the best choice for your baby!  GL!

    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
  • Wow, that's pretty awful. 

    If I were you, I'd make sure you have a pro-BF support system in place (LLL is a great idea!).  It's always nice to be around people who will support you and your decisions, but it will be esp. important if you have issues and need someone to talk to who will give you encouragement and advice and not make you feel bad. 

    When your baby is here, IMO it's not unreasonable to respect someone's "house rules" on BF, even if they're ignorant.  That said, You can also make it clear that you can't spend a lot of time at anyone's house because you need to go home and feed your kid :)

    I also wouldn't bring it up with unsupportive people, but if they do, I'd keep it short and try not to engage.  Tell them that the AAP and your doctor recommends it, or just say "I'm going to do what I feel is the best for my family," and try to leave it at that.

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards