What makes you NOT want to get married?

mamainseptember

DF and I are getting married in June, DS was not planned, but we had been dating for over 2 years when we got the BFP and knew we wanted to get married eventually. Anyway, my question is, if you are NOT married and have kids, is there anyone that doesn't want to get married? My friend is due in September and her and her boyfriend decided they have no desire to get married, they are happy as they are.

mle929

We want to get married and plan to next winter. We're saving $ and waiting until I'm not nursing.

kerribear1717

This doesn't apply to me ... but I hate to see when people get married just because they are going to or already have a baby.  I see this reason as a HUGE reason there are so many divorces in our society.  I know many friends that did this and just think it's pretty dumb.  And yup all of them are divorced now.

Nhev

We're engaged but I'm not in a big hurry. I don't feel like planning and the cost scares me. We're happy together no matter what and now we have little Amelia to focus on anyway!

We've talked about having more kids before we get married, too. It's just not a big deal to me to do it right now.

Kerribear, I totally agree! My previous gynecologist (not my OB) said to me, after giving me some information at the beginning of my pregnancy, "This is a big surprise, isn't it? This is a good reason to get married."

I laughed my ass off after I got off of the phone with her! It's sooo NOT a good reason to get married! We're getting married because we were already planning on it and because we're IN LOVE, not because we have a baby! 

stylez6

My son's father/ex bf is a douche.

I wouldn't want to marry anyone else because I don't want a strange man around my son.

BLONDRAVYN124

Last year at the time of the not-so-planned BFP, SO & I were dating for almost 11yrs. We weren't & aren't engaged & wouldn't do it 'Just because' we have a kid now. We have talked about getting married even before DS was born , but its not a Huge priority. We've made it this long without having that piece of paper, so why change anything? We love eachother, we live together, & heck we've moved 1000mi away (for work) from our families together, so we are all good here.

rlyttle

I was already married before DS, so this doesn't apply to me. BUT I think having a baby is stressful enough, why would you want to add the stresses for a marriage on top of that?!?! I understand that some people are already with the person they are going to marry, so that's fine. Others should not get married because they have a child together. That is the WORST reason in the world to get married. IMO

IsaacA

Not married, or engaged. We've been together for 4 years (this friday). I still call him DH because it's easier to explain things and we'll eventually get there. His family gets on him every day.

Anyways... he was planning the big proposal for last summer, but in Feb. I told him BFP, so he took the ring money for crib, pnp, etc. I took my extra money as a down payment on our house. Obviously the plan was...engaged, then house, then marriage, then baby. So.... our cards are shuffled but we'll get there evenutally.

No hurry. Sure... we all don't have the last name, but at least we are happy. We are still a family. Weddings are expensive, so we're slowly saving currently. He wants to get me a ring with his own money and pay for it in full (no payments, no using tax money). But I'm happy how we are.

The answer to your question, nothing but money is keeping us from getting married. I don't think that if you have a baby that you should get married. My mom was never married and me and my big sis have different dads. My dad married my step mom when they were pregnant with my brother...13 years ago. People that WANT to get married and are in LOVE, should get married.

LJR 84

Nhev:

We're engaged but I'm not in a big hurry. I don't feel like planning and the cost scares me. We're happy together no matter what and now we have little Amelia to focus on anyway!

We've talked about having more kids before we get married, too. It's just not a big deal to me to do it right now.

Kerribear, I totally agree! My previous gynecologist (not my OB) said to me, after giving me some information at the beginning of my pregnancy, "This is a big surprise, isn't it? This is a good reason to get married."

I laughed my ass off after I got off of the phone with her! It's sooo NOT a good reason to get married! We're getting married because we were already planning on it and because we're IN LOVE, not because we have a baby! 

This is exactly our situation...except for the cost issue because I don't even want a wedding- it's NMS. We'll be going to the courthouse!