Two Under 2

if you always wanted 3 or more, have you since changed your mind?

My whole life I always thought I wanted 4 kids.  As I got older, I thought maybe 3 or 4.  Now, after having one and another on the way, I'm seriously considering only having two.  In fact, if this LO is a boy I think there is a very good chance we'll be done.  (At least, that's how I feel now, maybe in a couple of years things will change).

I love DD more than anything and we're so excited to have another LO, but there is something very appealing about getting my body back, getting past the newborn stage for good, etc.

Anyone else have this change of heart?  Or, after actually having #2 are you back to thinking about having more?


DD february 2010 | DS october 2011


*please excuse my typos, bumping from my iphone*

Re: if you always wanted 3 or more, have you since changed your mind?

  • DS has changed it for me.  He is 100% done.  I waiver back and forth but I'll be 39 soon so time and $$ is not on our side and it took us 2.5 years to conceive DS1.  If you still have time then don't rush your decision : )
    Our miracle IVF baby - D 6/09 & J - Surprise! born 9/10!!!
  • Yes. We wanted 4. We have 3. We're done.....
    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • I havent 100% decided, but I definitely am singing a different tune now #2 is here. I like the idea of being done with the infant stage (admittedly, I dont like the newborn phase!). I'm not ready anytime soon to be pregnant again, but I don't feel like getting to the point where I have 2 more independent children then starting all over again. I had a rougher recovery from #2 than with #1, so I just dont really feel like going through pregnancy/childbirth again.

    I might be singing a different tune next year, but for now I'm leaning towards only having 2 kids.

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  • Yep! We're pretty sure that we're done having kids.  I have always wanted three but I just don't think that I would have the time or money for three.  I have one of each and feel that I'm lucky to have two beautiful children. 
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  • I'm only 35 weeks and have an almost 16 month old, but I am thinking I would personally be nuts to have another one. Maybe in like 5 years?? But by then I'll be 38. So who knows!
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  • no. I wanted four and I still want four, but...I want to wait longer in between with the last two.  I can see why other's may change their minds.
  • image rosesandpeonies:
    no. I wanted four and I still want four, but...I want to wait longer in between with the last two.  I can see why other's may change their minds.

    That's originally what we wanted as well, but it didn't work out that way.... 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • LI444LI444 member
    I originally wanted four, but being pregnant while caring for a toddler has made me want to be done after this baby.  My husband still really wants four, but he also wants them close together.  I'd be willing to consider another in three or four years (I'd be 29 or 30 then) but there's no way I think I could emotionally handle another baby within two years. 
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  • image HarrietNJMommy:

    image rosesandpeonies:
    no. I wanted four and I still want four, but...I want to wait longer in between with the last two.  I can see why other's may change their minds.

    That's originally what we wanted as well, but it didn't work out that way.... 

    Yeah, we wanted two close and then a space and then another two close.  We basically got 3 back to back to back.  If we have another one in 3 years, then in my mind that child needs a budy so we would have to have 2.  Plus I have 2 step sons.  That would total 7 kids.  I really hope I am done but since I wont do anything permanent I can only hope I dont get any surprises. 

  • I felt this way exactly before having kids.  After just having our second and even during that pregnancy I began to re-think everything.  We are very blessed to have a boy and girl now, but I worry myself so much with things that could go wrong during pregnancy and dangers during infancy that I'm just not ready to think about number 3...DD is almost 4 months.  At the same time, I was bitten by the pregnancy bug once DS turned 1, so I'm wondering if that might happen again and if the "want" to have more will come back.  I think this time around we will just let what happens happen and we won't actually try.
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  • Granted, I'm still baking no. 2, but I still want 3. And actually, DD is such a sweet, easy girl, I'd consider more than 3 if this baby is the same. I just love this stage of life and I'm not looking forward to letting it go. Plus, I have PCOS and need help to get pg, so a lot of us having more kids depends on keeping the current insurance we have. After this one is born, we'll re-evaluate and I'm guessing we'll probably go for no. 3, then let DH make work decisions without considering the IF insurance, which will likely take us away from this great coverage at some point and take the possibility of further kids off the table. I don't want to the IF to dictate our family planning, but without the insurance, we just won't be able to afford it, especially with me SAH.

    ETA (now that I've read through the other responses lol): I also had an easy pregnancy, except for DD's birth, and this one has been easy so far, too. Plus, we are both still pretty young - 25 and 27. I think we might change our minds if we have another preemie, or if I ended up on bedrest or something. I also need to get better at housekeeping/general organization, I suck at it and I think it'll get worse if there's more kids.

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  • hocushocus
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    Before I got pregnant a second time I was leaning toward 3. However this pregnancy has been so very hard that I'll 99% certain I'll never be pregnant again. I've also found that toddlers are a lot more work than that I was prepared for. I miss the days of 2 naps and having the ability to put my daughter on the floor and be relatively certain she's be in the same place if I had to run out to pee.
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  • We want four...but will see how we feel once # 3 makes its debut...I know right away I will think heck no...but will wait it out and see how three feels!
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  • image HarrietNJMommy:

    image rosesandpeonies:
    no. I wanted four and I still want four, but...I want to wait longer in between with the last two.  I can see why other's may change their minds.

    That's originally what we wanted as well, but it didn't work out that way.... 

      you scare me to death!!  LOL
  • image rosesandpeonies:
    image HarrietNJMommy:

    image rosesandpeonies:
    no. I wanted four and I still want four, but...I want to wait longer in between with the last two.  I can see why other's may change their minds.

    That's originally what we wanted as well, but it didn't work out that way.... 

      you scare me to death!!  LOL

    LOL! Sometimes the best laid plans don't work out exactly as you want them. We are more than happy with our 3, and since we really don't want to be overextended (financially, emotionally, etc.), for us, 3 is perfect.

    GL!!! 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • We *might* have one more, but it would be planned a few years done the road.  But on the flip side, I think if we wait too long and get too far past the baby stage, we won't want a #3.  I kind of think we are both done, but just don't want to say it out loud. Smile

    Also, unless we move or our financial situation drastically changes (for example, I don't think our children will ever go to public school for various reasons), I think #3 we mean some sacrifices we don't want to make for our kids, or ourselves frankly.

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  • Our original thought was 4, but we are on baby #5.  We always said we would take it 'one baby at at time"  I've had horrible hyperemesis during the first three pregnancies, but easy labor and delivery, and babies that slept well.  All of those contributed to us deciding that we could do another one.  If we ever ended up with a baby with colic, or major pregnancy complications we would probably not have any more kids.
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  • We've never had a set #, but I would like at least one more.  This hasn't changed since I had #2.
    DS1 2008
    DS2 2010
    Boy/girl twins Nov 2012 (born at 36 wks)

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  • A year ago, I wanted three or four kids. Now, I am on the fence about TTC #3 soon, or being done. I hate being pg. I was so sick and tired during my pregnancies, and I didn't feel like I was a good enough mom to DD1 while I was pg with DD2. I know it's a short period of time when looking at the big picture, but I am not sure I want to feel that way with two little ones to care for.

    If we do go for #3, I want to do it soon so I can get being pg over with once and for all. Also I have PCOS and endometriosis, and if getting pg again proved difficult, we are happy enough with the two we have that I don't see us going to the trouble and expense of going through treatments. I'm very lucky to have these two little ladies.

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  • We're still planning on three.
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  • Granted, baby #2 hasn't arrived yet, but we're still leaning towards 3. As of now, we're planning on waiting until DD2 is a year old before starting to TTC again.
    Lilypie - (vU6X)   Ticker id: uw9O   Ticker id: sH5t
  • NannaNanna member
    I wanted 4, DH was in the 2-3 camp.  Now that #3 is here I'm pretty sure we are done.  I could be talked into a 4th pretty easily, but since DH is decidedly done, barring some kind of freaky divine intervention, three children will be it for us.
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  • image Summer20:

    My whole life I always thought I wanted 4 kids.  As I got older, I thought maybe 3 or 4.  Now, after having one and another on the way, I'm seriously considering only having two.  In fact, if this LO is a boy I think there is a very good chance we'll be done.  (At least, that's how I feel now, maybe in a couple of years things will change).

    I love DD more than anything and we're so excited to have another LO, but there is something very appealing about getting my body back, getting past the newborn stage for good, etc.

    Anyone else have this change of heart?  Or, after actually having #2 are you back to thinking about having more?

    I could have written this (except the if-he-is-a-boy part - I have two girls and I don't see the need to have a boy to be done).  I have always wanted 5-6 kids.  But now I really can't imagine it.  Not least because pregnancy is really hard on me and I've done it three times in three years (m/c with my first).  DH wants at least one more, but I'm really happy the way things are.  And if we do decide we want to grow our family, I am pushing him to consider adoption.

    Traveling the world with my girls - born 12 months and 18 days apart.
    <a href="http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y161/putalittlepolkainyourdot/?action=view
  • I think I went through a period of feeling "done" with each pregnancy and after each birth.  It's once the kids hit around 6 months old that I felt ready to think about having more. 

    DH and I always wanted 4 kids and now that we have 4, we are done.  I'm ready to move on to the next phase in our lives.

    DD1 - 12.25.05
    (m/c 1.17.07, m/c 5.15.07)
    DS - 03.15.08
    DD2 - 12.03.09
    DD3 - 3.28.11
  • We always thought we wanted 3, but now we're not so sure.  3 is a whole new ball game.  Bigger house, bigger car, more furniture...etc. 

    What we decided was this: After #2, I'm going on Mirena and we are going to wait 2-3 years to think about it (and to get my body back in shape).  Neither of us are going to be making any permanent decisions for a while. 

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