October 2011 Moms

Guilty Gender... =(

I feel so guilty!! For some reason i just have my hopes set on a little girl. I use to always imagine myself with a boy though. But my mind has changed. I know i will love the child unconditionaly no matter the sex. and i do already. but ive been feeling scared to find out the sex cus if i hear its a boy im afraid ill cry and maybe not be as happy. Im trying to tell myself the gender does not matter at all and that im going to have a baby. but i cant stop feeling that way.. has anyone else experienced this or does any one have any advice please i dont want to be partial to the gender at all it isnt right..
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Guilty Gender... =(

  • image lyndafortune:
    I feel so guilty!! For some reason i just have my hopes set on a little girl. I use to always imagine myself with a boy though. But my mind has changed. I know i will love the child unconditionaly no matter the sex. and i do already. but ive been feeling scared to find out the sex cus if i hear its a boy im afraid ill cry and maybe not be as happy. Im trying to tell myself the gender does not matter at all and that im going to have a baby. but i cant stop feeling that way.. has anyone else experienced this or does any one have any advice please i dont want to be partial to the gender at all it isnt right..

    I am in exactly the same boat as you except Ive always wanted a girl and thought I would have a girl.  Now Im starting to think it may be a boy.  I know in the end I will love them either way and I know all that matters is that they are heallthy, but this is just how I feel. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • that makes me feel a little better im not the only one. and that just reminded me of another question to ask the board hehe

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • It is what it is and there's no changing it... and once you meet your little baby, if it is a boy, you will swear up and down someone possessed your body and wrote this post instead of the real you!

    Someone said on another board that it's not like you're sad that you're having an ABC when you wanted an XYZ, rather, sort of mourning the loss of NOT having an XYZ when you're getting an ABC, if that makes any sort of sense.  

     

    July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

    image

    BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11. AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    ***BFP Chart***

    "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

  • Try not to focus on either gender. Snoop through the baby boys clothes as often as the girls clothes (or more often)... imagine yourself with your little guy and know that boys are just as amazing as girls! They dig in the dirt, laugh hard, splash without holding back, love their mommies, love drawing and kissing and dancing and idolize their daddies. They love monster trucks, but they also love playing with dolls. They love Cars, but they'll also watch Enchanted. Close your eyes now and imagine this sweet little guy... a miniature of your SO, your dad or your brother, big eyes and a big smile, full of life and laughter. Stop focusing on girls so much and you'll probably come to see that boys AND girls are blessings. Trust me that when you hold that little guy or girl you will NOT be disappointed... you won't want to send them back... you won't cry while holding them that they're not a girl (or a boy... or whatever). A mother's love transcends all of that nonsense. ;)
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
    Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
    <a href="http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b268/gussiebutt/?action=view
  • Thank you ladies! That helped a lot. and hehe it was somebody else who posted that ;)
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • i think this is totally normal and i that people are lying if they say otherwise.  i knew i was having a girl with DD, i just felt it and this time i have no idea but i only have brothers and would love to have 2 girls.  i am scared i will be disappointed if it is a boy but i know it will pass and i will love it no matter what. 
    photo IMG_3757_zps3e266e57.jpg Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker "Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight." - Johnny Cash
  • I think you should be happy to have a healthy baby, no matter what gender it is.
    TTC Since 2/09... BFP 12/26/09 - Missed miscarriage (6 weeks), D&C 1/28/10, BFP 4/23/10 - Miscarriage (18 wks 4 days) due to Turner's Syndrome, Delivered Lyla Ann on 7/29/10, BFP 12/10/10 - Natural miscarriage (5 weeks 6 days) 12/23/10, BFP 2/2/11 - EDD: 10/15/11 - Stick baby stick!!
  • I am happy and excited to have a baby. just couldnt keep the thoughts away but thanks to those ladies it doesnt bother me as much
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I don't want to push my ideas, but maybe you should wait til the baby is born before you find out the sex (if you haven't already) once you hold that baby in your arms, it doesn't matter if it is a boy or girl anymore! Just a suggestion :)
    image

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image forensicmama:
    Try not to focus on either gender. Snoop through the baby boys clothes as often as the girls clothes (or more often)... imagine yourself with your little guy and know that boys are just as amazing as girls! They dig in the dirt, laugh hard, splash without holding back, love their mommies, love drawing and kissing and dancing and idolize their daddies. They love monster trucks, but they also love playing with dolls. They love Cars, but they'll also watch Enchanted. Close your eyes now and imagine this sweet little guy... a miniature of your SO, your dad or your brother, big eyes and a big smile, full of life and laughter. Stop focusing on girls so much and you'll probably come to see that boys AND girls are blessings. Trust me that when you hold that little guy or girl you will NOT be disappointed... you won't want to send them back... you won't cry while holding them that they're not a girl (or a boy... or whatever). A mother's love transcends all of that nonsense. ;)

    So well said!

    DS Born 10/05/99 DSS Born 7/11/95 BFP 05/11/10 - Missed M/C, D&C 06/23/10 BFP 8/3/2010 - Ectopic, Methotrexate 8/17/10 BFP 1/27/11- Please God let this heart beat strong. Beta1 17dpo-314 Beta2 20dpo-883 Beta3 22dpo-1861 Beta4 25dpo-5918 DS2 Born 10/07/99 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD." 1Sam1v24to28.
  • I know what you mean. With DD I wanted a boy SO bad! I was the slightest bit sad when they said it was a girl. Then I realized it wasn't because she was a girl that I was sad it was because I just wanted a boy that bad. I love my DD so much and she seriously is the best! I couldn't imagine her being a boy... I just always imagined myself having boys and thought I would have been happy with all boys. I was so wrong. Having a girl is so great and I can't wait for her to be my friend like I am with my mom. However, this time around I really think it's a boy. I pray every night for a boy. Of course a healthy baby is the highest priority but I really just want my little boy too! It's ok to have a preference...
    SAHM to the sweetest little girl and boy... I love my job!

    Praying for Baby Camryn
    Praying for Baby Scarlett
    Remembering Baby Adam
  • I have heard so many friends say that they actually cried when they found out the gender.  Now, of course, they couldn't imagine it being any different.  They still admit to it, though.

    I have always imagined me having a boy for some reason.  However, there are reasons I want a boy and reasons I want a girl, so, I have decided it doesn't matter except that I want a healthy baby. 

    I am not going to find out the sex of my baby for a number of reasons, but I do think it will make the moment of the birth more exciting when I get to see my baby and find out the sex all at the same time.  I feel it will help me during labor and give me something to focus on and talk about too!  Boy or girl, I look forward to that moment more than anything else in my life!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I also thought about not finding out the gender I kinda of like the idea of a surprise and just making the moment that much greater. But my family really wants to know and if it wasnt for my grandma then i would probably not find out but shes excited and i do kinda what to know too so i think im just going to find out unless.... hehe the baby doesnt want to show us! lol but i still have a while to wait i find out june 6 or 9 i dont remember without looking but everyone else is finding out way sooner than i am and one lady is a week or two behind be and another friend is a week or two ahead... =( but ill get my turn
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm sorry you are feeling guilty. I hope that no matter which sex you get that you will be overjoyed. I do understand leaning towards one sex over the other based on what you always though you'd have or what you've always wanted first. I understand feeling guilty about having a bit of a preference because we feel as though we should feel a particular way about all of this pregnancy thing. 

    We all want a healthy baby (of course!), and there is enough mom-guilt to go around. Be gentle with yourself. There is no right way to feel about any of this. Sometimes you just feel what you feel. 

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • it is really weird because I dont feel an inclination either way.

    My husband wants a boy so I want a boy to make him happy, but then I kind of want a girl because he would be such a great Dad to a little girl.  But for me - I am still trying to imagine being a Mom to anything at all.

    image
  • I am just as guilty! I want another boy, and do NOT want a girl at all! haha
    [center]Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker[/center][center]Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker[/center]
  • see I can honestly say this time I dont care what the baby is but DH is set on another boy and I dont know my exact thought or what I or he will do if it is a girl... but I really think we are having another boy hope I am right so I dont have to see my DH so disapointed....
  • We waited to find out with our DD and it was the most magical moment when they pulled her out and announced it.  Especially since we swore she was a boy the whole pregnancy.  When they said "Its a girl!" it was perfect!  My DH always wanted to find out the gender so this baby we will find out to be fair.  I would love another girl or to have a boy, either way I am going to be so thrilled.  Its normal to want a specific gender, but once that baby is born, all that goes out the window and you will love it more than life itself!
    We are having Irish Twins!!! Our sweet little girls will be 10.5 months apart! BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I always wanted a girl but I'm getting a very strong boy vibe from my little bug. The more I think of this baby as a boy...the more excited I am to have a boy. I could be totally wrong but now I'll be happy either way..

     My friend sent me this honest blog post...sorry I don't know how to link it.

     

     

     

     

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • image lyndafortune:
    I feel so guilty!! For some reason i just have my hopes set on a little girl. I use to always imagine myself with a boy though. But my mind has changed. I know i will love the child unconditionaly no matter the sex. and i do already. but ive been feeling scared to find out the sex cus if i hear its a boy im afraid ill cry and maybe not be as happy. Im trying to tell myself the gender does not matter at all and that im going to have a baby. but i cant stop feeling that way.. has anyone else experienced this or does any one have any advice please i dont want to be partial to the gender at all it isnt right..

    I feel the same way as you. I've always wanted a girl and have never had an interest in having boys. I don't know what to do with boys or how to interact with them. I don't enjoy a lot of male past times that my husband enjoys. I just don't think I can really relate with them and my family is the same way.

    I come from a family of all girls the only exception to this is my sister who had 2 boys and 1 girl. Her boys were kind of shunned. There great-grandma never came and visited them or came to their birthday parties or got them any gifts for the various holidays throughout the year and that type of attitude has rubbed off on my Mom, she just generally does not like boys.

    Having knowing all this and seen how my nephews were treated from other family members, I am worried about having a boy. I know they wont be very happy, they will love him, but not the way they would love a baby girl.  

    Now, I am probably having a boy. I figure this because my DH comes from a family of boys. His dad has 6 brothers and 1 sister, all of their children are boys and all of my FIL's children are boys so there is a damn good chance I wont be getting my girl.

    I don't want to feel sad if I learn about having a boy, but I am afraid I will cry and will not like the news.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image image

  • image forensicmama:
    Try not to focus on either gender. Snoop through the baby boys clothes as often as the girls clothes (or more often)... imagine yourself with your little guy and know that boys are just as amazing as girls! They dig in the dirt, laugh hard, splash without holding back, love their mommies, love drawing and kissing and dancing and idolize their daddies. They love monster trucks, but they also love playing with dolls. They love Cars, but they'll also watch Enchanted. Close your eyes now and imagine this sweet little guy... a miniature of your SO, your dad or your brother, big eyes and a big smile, full of life and laughter. Stop focusing on girls so much and you'll probably come to see that boys AND girls are blessings. Trust me that when you hold that little guy or girl you will NOT be disappointed... you won't want to send them back... you won't cry while holding them that they're not a girl (or a boy... or whatever). A mother's love transcends all of that nonsense. ;)

    Aww, thats really sweet.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image image

  • Before TTC, I used to think I wanted a girl. That was all I would picture. I thought I would be devastated and pissed off if I found out I was having a boy.

    When I got pregnant this time, I started picturing having a little boy to get my mind used to the thought that it could happen. I looked up cute little boy clothes online. Imagined a little boy who looks like my husband. Picked the perfect little boy name. I got so excited about the thought of having a little boy, I actually felt disappointed when I remembered it could still be a *girl*.

    Now I imagine both and both feel perfect and exciting to me. I am so happy we are waiting to find out the sex, because I know that the moment they hand me my child will be perfect no matter the sex. And I can be a great mom to either kind of baby

    BFP #1 10/17/09: missed m/c at 7 weeks; BFP #2 10/22/10: chemical pregnancy; BFP #3: 1/28/11

    Baby Boy Smudgie born 10/4/11

    <a href="http://s837.photobucket.com/albums/zz298/triple_sevens/?action=view

  • image bables21:
    I don't want to push my ideas, but maybe you should wait til the baby is born before you find out the sex (if you haven't already) once you hold that baby in your arms, it doesn't matter if it is a boy or girl anymore! Just a suggestion :)

    I kind of agree with this.  And really, it doesn't matter if your family wants to know.  Everyone at dinner last night (family and family friends) want to find out the sex of our baby.  I told them they are more than welcome to find out, in October.  They want to know if they can call the doctor and find out before us.....Tongue Tied

    June '15 Dec Siggy Challenge.  Awkward Family Holiday Pics
    image

     Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • We are not finding out not because we will be disappointed that it is not one sex over the other....but because we really don't care. Being a nanny, I started out with two girls and said I only wanted to nanny girls...and I only wanted little girls when I started to have kids. The low and behold, my bosses got pregnant.....both of them carrying boys. Flast forward years later....and I am now the nanny of one girl, and THREE boys. Since the day the boys were born....my thoughts on only having little girls have totally changed. When the first boy out of the group of boys was born...I was completely in love and could have cared less that he was a boy and not a girl.

    I think it would be cool to have a boy to carry on my SO's name (which he also agrees...since he is the only one left to carry on the name)......and to not have to deal with the mood swinging teenage years and girls go through. But I also think it would be fun to have a girl and shop like crazy and do girly things with....and my SO thinks it would be fun to have a girl because he is totally smitten on little girls and thinks it would be great eventually walking her down the isle when she gets married. He also said....that once she starts dating, it will give him the chance to take out his guns and start polishing them up....hehe.

    So we both think that there are fun things to do with both. He was actually the one that didn't want to find out and kept saying he didn't care what it was as long as he/she was healthy and went through life happy and living it to the fullest.

    But I agree with the previous posters that say when you see the baby, you really wont care if it is the sex that you were hoping it wasnt...you will just care about he fact that he/she is here, healthy, and you and your SO's child....

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards