2nd Trimester

Who do you want to witness your birth?

Most hospitals have a limit of 3 ppl allowed in room when you're having a vag birth, right?  A friend of mine is insistant about saying "she will" be there when I give birth but I only want my DH, Mom, & MIL there.  How can I let her down easy?  She's a good friend but not my BFF.

Re: Who do you want to witness your birth?

  • My husband and that's it. 

    I'd say she should understand that you don't want her there.  A friend doesn't trump family.

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  • Just DH was there with our first and it will be the same for this one.  My parents were in the labor and delivery room, but left when I started pushing.  Even if they let 100 people in the room your friend should understand if you just want family, DH, or whomever.  I would just let her know this.  There's no need to explain or justify who you want in the room why you deliver. 
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  • I only want my DH in there. Too many people will just get on my nerves.

    If you don't want your friend there, you certainly don't have to invite her. If you want to be polite about it, absolutely use the excuse that the hospital limits the number of guests or that they only allow family.

  • aandgaandg
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments
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    image KOscar:
    Just DH was there with our first and it will be the same for this one.  My parents were in the labor and delivery room, but left when I started pushing.  Even if they let 100 people in the room your friend should understand if you just want family, DH, or whomever.  I would just let her know this.  There's no need to explain or justify who you want in the room why you deliver. 

    This exactly

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  • Just DH. If you don't want your friend there, just tell her. Tell her who you want there, invite her to visit once you've rested or are home. Your baby, your rules.
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  • DH for sure. Maybe my mom-- undecided on that. Your friend needs to back off, IMO. It is totally out of line for her to make demands like that.
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  • When giving birth to a baby it is ALL ABOUT YOU!
    I can't tell you how many times I've heard of people trying to weasel their way in there and make it about them when they should be concerned about what you want.
    If you want to let her down easy just tell her she's welcome to show up at the hospital and wait in the waiting room (like a good friend would).
    If you have to make something up, you can say the doc gave you a 2 person limit or what have you.

     

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  • image Fianschneid:

    I only want my DH in there. Too many people will just get on my nerves.

    This! Yes

  • Only DH will be there. My mom wants to be there but she is very pushy and overwhelming sometimes and I want to share this very special moment with my husband.

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  • My DH is the only other person that will be in there and even he will stay up by head during the birth. Your friend may be trying to come off as supportive, in case that's the type of support you want, rather than how she's actually coming off lol. I would just tell her that the hospital has a limit and she would exceed it but that she can come by as soon as it's over.
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  • I can't imagine anyone insisting on witnessing someone give birth.  that is so strange and really lacks social boundaries, imo.

    Only H was there for #1 and #2.  It will be the same for #3 unless my mom wanted to be there - which she doesn't.  lol

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  • Just my H and the way I feel about him this morning, I barely want HIM there, lol.

    Next time she brings it up, I would just say "Awe! I wish you could, but we're only having our Moms in." If you feel it necessary, explain the limit but you shouldn't have to.

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  • Last time I had my mom and DH. This time it will be just DH, my mom will be watching DS. If you can tell the front desk who you want to come in and that's it. Nobody can force themselves in. YOU get to decide who you want. I wouldn't even want my very best friends there. I would just tell her the visitation policy and who you plan to have there. That's it!

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  • My dh was the only one there besides doctor/nurses when my son was born and he will be the only one there this time.
  • I just want my DH in there with me. It's a special moment for both of us. I think she would understand if you tell her that it's just your DH and you or a family member if you choose to. That if she likes she can wait for you in the waiting area witht eh rest of the family and friends.

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  • You can always let your nurses know that you are friends and she's not some crazy woman trying to kidnap your kid, but that you would like to only have certain people in your room. Trust me, their used to it! lol, just let them know who can and cannot be in here.
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  • As PP have said, your friend is being very pushy with something that is not directly affecting her.  She is a friend NOT family.  If she cannot understand that then she can hardly be a good friend at all. 

     

     

    As for me, I want just MH there with me.  We have too big of a family to have everyone coming in when I am not going to be as friendly or comfortable as I usually am.  Plus to have everyone around for what could be hours, seems a bit silly.  I'll have MH call everyone down to the hospital once we're fulyl dialated and ready to go so by the time they get there LO will be all ready for her moment to shine, and it'll give me some time to wipe the sweat off my face :)

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