Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Well, here I am. Missed m/c (long)

I'm so sad to be joining you ladies here. My husband and I went in for our first OB appointment yesterday at 11 weeks only to discover that our baby had stopped growing in the 7th week.

I had a very strong feeling from the beginning that my pregnancy was going to end this way. I can't really describe it, I just knew. I never allowed myself to get really excited about the baby; never really could envision us taking home this baby. I got some excitement from family members and friends who would talk about our baby. I have two sisters-in-law who just had babies this past holiday season, so we spent a lot of time talking about pregnancy, and how great it was going to be that the babies would have close cousins, how we could swap all the baby gear/clothes/etc. back and forth because by the time our baby came the 1st of November, they'd be ready to pass off their newborn and infant stuff.

I was having all the typical symptoms and was generally miserable with "evening sickness" and then at the start of the 8th week, it just stopped. I expressed concern to friends and family that knew of the pregnancy. I was worried because I knew that hormone levels we supposed to be peaking around the time I started feeling better, and I was so, so sick before. They all assured me "It's normal for symptoms to come and go, try to not to worry." And I'd say, "But my symptoms have gone, and NOT come back." They'd tell me I'm just lucky then.

I didn't want to be the "crazy worried pregnant woman" hounding her doctor about not having symptoms, so I just tried to relax until my appointment, but I just knew that I wasn't going to hear that heartbeat. And sure enough, the silence was deafening. I was sent for an emergency u/s to confirm no fetal tones.

I'm terrified of what happens next. My doctor said she usually advises patients to wait for a natural m/c in this type of situation, but that I could opt for a D&C if I choose. I hate feeling like a coffin. A ticking time bomb just waiting for something to happen. So far there is no sign of the end. She says it could take weeks, and I don't think I can deal with that. But I may have to, as my insurance will not cover a voluntary D&C; only if the doctor deems it as medically necessary. From reading posts here I see that it's quite an expensive procedure. I need to talk to my doctor about this when I go in for follow up bloodwork on Thursday. I just want to get past this.

Thanks for listening. I'm afraid that I scared the bejesus out of my month board when I posted about my missed m/c yesterday, and I'm feeling guilty for that. :/ I'm so sorry for all of your losses, also.


BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011

Re: Well, here I am. Missed m/c (long)

  • I am very sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

    I went through a missed miscarriage as well, 10 weeks when I found out, 6 weeks when baby stopped growing. I wasn't keen on having a D&C, but pointed out to my OB that I really wasn't cool with continuing to wait after going 4 weeks with absolutely no sign of an impending m/c either. They kept pushing for a D&C, and when I asked for Cytotec (a drug that induces the miscarriage process), the nurse said they didn't do that. I insisted that she ask the doctor, and she was very surprised that he supported my choice. The insurance covered the drug, and the Vicoden I asked for, as well.

    So, there is another option out there, in between a D&C and just waiting. If you aren't willing to wait, you can ask for other options. 

    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF 
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
    Pebbles arrived safe and sound 4/13. Placenta accreta found.
    Op hysteroscopy 2/7, reopen ute/remove adhesions from accreta
    Found severe Ashermans. Fuuuuuuu... Repeat Op Hyst in March.
    Op Hyst ver 3.0 looks good so far, find out if it worked in June.
    Finally got the damn IUD out. Waiting to stop bleeding.
    SIS shows rippled funky shaped ute, but given clearance to begin sFET calendar.
    Here goes everything...

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    "Petra, you are an obese 40+ year old. Stop jumping through these hoops. Just adopt already. There is no shame in that." -Deethebee
  • I'm really sorry for your loss.  I too found out about my missed mc yesterday.  I would have been 9 weeks today and the baby stopped growing at 8 wks.  It is so heartbreaking. I'm very sorry to have this common experience with you. 

      My doc offered me 3 options: wait, d&c, or cytocec.  I'm deciding between d&c and cytocec. She said to think about it and let her know what my decision is.  My husband was smart enough to ask for the cytocec prescription before we left. We filled it yesterday so if i decided to use it, i have it.  She did give me a script for vicoden too for the pain.  She said same ppl need it and some don't. 

    There are pros and cons to both the medicine and d&c.  But it is an option that you can talk to your doctor.

  • ***sig warning***

     

     

     

    I'm so sorry.  The exact same thing happend to me last week.  We went in for our 12 week appt and we had lost our baby.  We saw a healthy baby with a heartbeat at both 6w2d and 7w5d and our baby was only measuring somewhere in the 7th week.  I know exactly how you are feeling and I'm so, so sorry.  I had no signs of m/cing on my own and my doc highly recommended I get a d&c as it could take an unknown amout of time to m/c naturally and then I might need a d&c anyway.  My d&c was fine, I had some heavy bleeding and large clots after, but that's not common.  I'm so glad I went for the d&c.  I just couldn't bear waiting around.  I have a son and would be so afraid to leave the house if it started while I was gone.  It gave great closure and it's all done and over.  I'm still not sure yet if our insurance is going to cover it, but I think they are.

    GL to you and ((hugs))

  • listening - that's what we are here for. i'm deeply sorry about your loss. it's one of the hardest things that i've ever had to go through, and i hope that none of us ever have to go through it again.

    as for natural miscarriage/D&C - i really didn't have the option, because i had blighted ovum on both my sacs and i was at 10 weeks, and still not miscarrying on my own. my levels were still rising dramatically (as they should have), and my sacs were still growing just as there was a fetus inside. my doctor said that in most blighted cases they stop growing early, but mine weren't stopping.so i had to take the D&C. my doctor never offered me the medicine that Petra is talking about, but i wish he had! not that my D&C was bad or anything, but i'm just more of a natural person.

    did you ask your doctor about deeming it necessary? i mean what if you wait a few weeks or so and nothing happens, will he then deem it necesary so you can get it? my doctor said something to me about waiting too long is also a risk for infection, so i would ask him how long of a wait until he deems it necessary and you are at risk for infection. as for it being expensive, you can always contact the hospital and they can give you a kinda "estimate" of the costs without insurance before hand and if they have a payment plan option. that way you wouldn't be blindsided.

     hope this helps! and hope you can get some more answers at your Thursday appointment.

     

    *EDIT - i had a total typo i had to fix.

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    ? BFP #1 EDD 10/18/2011. Twin Blighted Ovums 3/10/11. D&C on 3/11/11 ?
    ?BFP #2 5/19/2011 ? 9/1/2011 - it's a BOY!!! ? Jace Matthew born 1/23/12 ?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ?BFP 6/21/2012 - EDD 3/5/2013 - natural MC 7/22/2012 at 7w ?
    ?BFP 10/24/2012 - EDD 6/26/2013, grow little one grow!?

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Thank you all so, so much. It's such a comfort to have someone who understands to talk to. Yesterday was such a whirlwind that I didn't really have the mind to ask my doctor many questions. Thank you for the advice about medications - my doctor didn't offer it, but I can certainly ask her. When I talk to her later this week I do plan to ask her how long this can go on before she wants to just do the D&C, the possibility of her deeming it an emergency to get my insurance to cooperate and finding out how much it costs at my hospital. I really feel like I want the D&C, I just need to discuss it more with my doctor. If it's still not a feasible thing for me, I'll ask for the medication to start this so I don't have to wait.

    BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011
  • I'm so sorry for your loss... i had a natural miscarriage on Sunday early morning... I spent the day in the ER and was given Cytotec to make sure that everything passed... (even though there was no tissue only a few blood clots left)... 

    I didnt think it was necessary because i was still cramping and bleeding at the time.  

    Cytotec is given to women to induce labor and causes painful cramps.  And since its a rectal suppository it causes pain in your rectum also (at least it did for me)... I just went through this pain Sunday night...  

  • I am so sorry for your loss.

    It can be an extremely difficult first few weeks afterward. Try to take good care of yourself the best you can. Don't be to hard on yourself. Let the dishes/laundry pile up, stay in bed if you don't feel like moving, and take time off of work or school. Now is the time to tend to your heart. I too posted on my month board and felt awful afterward. I didn't even know this board existed then =[ But I am so thankful for this place now. It is my safe heaven.

    I would check with your Dr for when a D&C would become medically needed in his or her eyes. Usually most Dr would like to do the D&C because it is easier on the patient both physically and emotionally than waiting to go naturally. Some times going naturally can still result in a D&C needing to be done.

    I also had a missed mc, only we found out @ 9w 2d. Every feeling you are describing is exactly the way I felt. I was never really over the moon about the pregnancy and always had this just really "off" feeling. Everyone assured me I would be fine and it was just because I was scared and the pregnancy was unplanned. DH was very excited and that helped me to get more involved. At around 7w all my symptoms started to taper off, again, everyone assured me I was fine and even my mom told me she always had very easy pregnancies.  The silence is very deafening as you sit looking at that screen just knowing what no one else is saying. 

    I tried to go natural but after 2 weeks and still having some symptoms I couldn't do it. I was begging my Dr for the D&C. It was a very easy procedure and went well (as well as these things can go).

    Please continue to post here as I promise you will find so much strength and never feel alone. 

  • So sorry for your loss.  I found out 3 weeks ago when I should have been 9 weeks that the baby was measuring only 6w3d.  I have been waiting for my natural miscarriage but nothing yet and I'm 12 weeks.  I went ahead and scheduled a d&c for next Monday.  I also had the option of continuing to wait or the medication.  I was nervous to do the med. because my doctor says it only works about 3 out of 4 times maybe.  I didn't want to go through that pain to only have to do the d&c anyway.  They didn't mention anything about this not being covered by insurance since it is optional at this point.  Hopefully yours can figure out a way to get it covered since it sounds like you are ready to get it over with.   
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
  • It breaks my heart to hear all of these stories. My baby had a heartbeat at 7 weeks but was measuring at 6 weeks. All of a sudden I started to feel aroused (after not wanting sex), my MS stopped and I felt good again. I started spotting on 4/1, what a cruel April Fool's joke, right? I wish it were. I started cramping and spotting brown blood. By the time I called my doctor on Monday the spotting was getting worse. I started to see red blood on Monday night (4/4) and by the time we went in for the ultrasound on Tuesday morning... I had already known. I was losing my baby.

     Sure enough, the heartbeat was gone and my baby hadn't grew since that 6 week mark. I was devastated. The Dr. recommended I get a D & C and I wanted it just as soon as I could get it. The scheduled me for 8:00 am Wednesday. At about 9:15pm Tuedsay night, I felt something break free in my uterus and I passed my baby at that time...

     I still went in and since I still had a lot of tissue remaining, they performed the D & C and sent in the tissue for testing, to make sure there isn't a genetic defect. the pain was so bad after the procedure, I wanted to just go home and cry in my bed. Vicotin helped, but it just made me unbelievably constipated... still today almost a week later.

     The comfort I take in losing this pregnancy is that at least I am able to get pregnant! I will try again once my cycle returns to normal. I am working with a great fertility dr. that has gotten me pregnant through Intra-Uternine-Insemination, and I'm hoping we can do it again... This time I hope to carry the baby to term.

    So, don't lose faith stay positive, and know that mc is a very common occurance, you are not alone. I feel each and every one of yours pain. May our hurt and sadness subside with that next period... I'm hoping so!

  • image AngnShaun:

    I'm so sorry for your loss... i had a natural miscarriage on Sunday early morning... I spent the day in the ER and was given Cytotec to make sure that everything passed... (even though there was no tissue only a few blood clots left)... 

    I didnt think it was necessary because i was still cramping and bleeding at the time.  

    Cytotec is given to women to induce labor and causes painful cramps.  And since its a rectal suppository it causes pain in your rectum also (at least it did for me)... I just went through this pain Sunday night...  

    I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I just wanted to add for our OP that they do have an oral version. I took a tablet every 6 hours for 3 days. The cramps were strong, but the vicoden took it down to a menstrual cramp level.  

    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF 
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
    Pebbles arrived safe and sound 4/13. Placenta accreta found.
    Op hysteroscopy 2/7, reopen ute/remove adhesions from accreta
    Found severe Ashermans. Fuuuuuuu... Repeat Op Hyst in March.
    Op Hyst ver 3.0 looks good so far, find out if it worked in June.
    Finally got the damn IUD out. Waiting to stop bleeding.
    SIS shows rippled funky shaped ute, but given clearance to begin sFET calendar.
    Here goes everything...

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    "Petra, you are an obese 40+ year old. Stop jumping through these hoops. Just adopt already. There is no shame in that." -Deethebee
  • I am so sorry for you loss. I too had a missed m/c (whoever thought these were so 'common') my baby had passed 2 weeks or so before it was discovered, literally days after my last healthy appointment/us with a strong hb of 171. My doc advised a d&c since it had been a few weeks, i had one the next day. I hate that you or anyone has to go through this. I also had a doomed feeling from the begining....hugs to you and your family
    image

    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby#2:M/C at 13 weeks 6 days d&c 03/11/11
    TTC again since April 2011. +HPT on 12/06/11
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am not sure of your insurance but I do not think that your situation is a voluntary D&C.  You had a missed miscarriage.  I think that they consider voluntary D&C for women who are wanting to terminate a viable pregnancy. 

    I had no symptoms that my body was going to catch up to what was going on and choose to have the D&C.  I am glad that I did it.  I was really scared but the whole thing took around 15 minutes.  They put me under anesthesia and I was in and out of the surgical center in 2 hours.  I had minimal cramping/bleeding and I felt like I was finally able to start my healing process. I hope you are able to find a choice you are comfortable with soon.

    "Compare, where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere" ~Sara Bareilles




    image image



    BFP #2: 9/1/2011, Lilliana Jacqueline born 5/9/2012

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    BFP #1:3/4/11, Blighted Ovum Dx: 3/31/11, D&C: 4/1/11


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am so extremely sorry for your loss.

     I can completely identify with your feelings of just knowing something was off.  I would not, or could not, allow myself to commit to my pregnancy.  I was happy but found myself telling people in hopes that sharing the news would make it feel more real and permanent.  I've talked to other friends who have m/c and they have shared the feeling of knowing that things weren't right.

    I pray that you found the right choice for you and your family regarding your d&c and that your doctor will support you fully.

    Mama to three boys Nathan Reese 9.05 Conrad Elijah 5.08 Ezekiel Drake "Zeke" 4.12
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss ((hugs)).  I felt so many of those feelings when I was put on bedrest following some hope from my doc that I might not m/c - that whole week I knew something was not right, and the next monday I knew how the ultrasound would turn out.  So many feelings were welling up and the doc didn't give me a choice, now that I look back I wish I had a choice. 

    Listen to your body and do what is right for you, there is lots of advice on this thread about how you may be able to get your doc to support what is right for your body.

     

    smaller alaska pic Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I am right there with you and remember you from the November board. Went for my first u/s on Friday and there was no heart beat. I should have been 9w3d and the baby only measured 6w2d. Spoke with the doctor yesterday and I'm hoping to have a d&c done on Monday. I am scared to death to pass it on my own.

    It's funny (well, not funny) that you say you sort of "knew" this would happen to you because I felt the same way. I didn't want to believe it and kept telling myself everything would be fine, but I guess deep down I knew it wouldn't.

    It is comforting to me to hear all the stories of women in my shoes now and those of women who have been. I have to believe that God has a plan for us. We don't see it now, but we will some day. Hang in there!

     

    BFP #1 3/5/11 Missed M/C 4/8/11 D&C 4/18/11
    BFP #2 6/1/11 - Madison James born 12/13/11 @ 32 weeks 4 days

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

    imageimageimageimage
  • image sedge1:

    I am right there with you and remember you from the November board. Went for my first u/s on Friday and there was no heart beat. I should have been 9w3d and the baby only measured 6w2d. Spoke with the doctor yesterday and I'm hoping to have a d&c done on Monday. I am scared to death to pass it on my own.

     

    Me too. Sad


    BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011
  • image PetraStonegirl:
    image AngnShaun:

    I'm so sorry for your loss... i had a natural miscarriage on Sunday early morning... I spent the day in the ER and was given Cytotec to make sure that everything passed... (even though there was no tissue only a few blood clots left)... 

    I didnt think it was necessary because i was still cramping and bleeding at the time.  

    Cytotec is given to women to induce labor and causes painful cramps.  And since its a rectal suppository it causes pain in your rectum also (at least it did for me)... I just went through this pain Sunday night...  

    I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I just wanted to add for our OP that they do have an oral version. I took a tablet every 6 hours for 3 days. The cramps were strong, but the vicoden took it down to a menstrual cramp level.  

    I wish i had known that... the OB in the ER never even mentioned that it could be given orally... oh well whats done is done... the only thing that helped was tylenol PM... Extra Strength Tylenol wasnt doing anything...

  • image AgWife83:
    image sedge1:

    I am right there with you and remember you from the November board. Went for my first u/s on Friday and there was no heart beat. I should have been 9w3d and the baby only measured 6w2d. Spoke with the doctor yesterday and I'm hoping to have a d&c done on Monday. I am scared to death to pass it on my own.

     

    Me too. Sad

    To be totally honest, passing it on my own wasn't really the horrible experience that I had imagined it would be... even fishing the tissue out of the toilet bowl wasnt horrible... walking back to my bedroom to wake DH and tell him what happened was the worst part... I had bad cramps and saw light pink on the TP and then the next thing i knew it was out...

    The passing of it was probably the least painful part of it... the cramps prior, the 9:30 to 5 in the ER and the Cytotec were by far worse...

    But if i had found out in the Drs. office that the baby had stopped growing i would definitely have opted for the D & C... I don't know if i could have gone on knowing it could happen...many hugs to you both!

  • Passing the tissue didn't hurt but the contractions felt like someone punched me in the back so hard they hit my uterus. It lasted about 2 hours. I think, I woke up in the middle of the night so I really didn't keep track. After I passed everything all the pain was gone. It was and wasn't the worst experience of my life all at the same time.
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