I'm so sad to be joining you ladies here. My husband and I went in for our first OB appointment yesterday at 11 weeks only to discover that our baby had stopped growing in the 7th week.
I had a very strong feeling from the beginning that my pregnancy was going to end this way. I can't really describe it, I just knew. I never allowed myself to get really excited about the baby; never really could envision us taking home this baby. I got some excitement from family members and friends who would talk about our baby. I have two sisters-in-law who just had babies this past holiday season, so we spent a lot of time talking about pregnancy, and how great it was going to be that the babies would have close cousins, how we could swap all the baby gear/clothes/etc. back and forth because by the time our baby came the 1st of November, they'd be ready to pass off their newborn and infant stuff.
I was having all the typical symptoms and was generally miserable with "evening sickness" and then at the start of the 8th week, it just stopped. I expressed concern to friends and family that knew of the pregnancy. I was worried because I knew that hormone levels we supposed to be peaking around the time I started feeling better, and I was so, so sick before. They all assured me "It's normal for symptoms to come and go, try to not to worry." And I'd say, "But my symptoms have gone, and NOT come back." They'd tell me I'm just lucky then.
I didn't want to be the "crazy worried pregnant woman" hounding her doctor about not having symptoms, so I just tried to relax until my appointment, but I just knew that I wasn't going to hear that heartbeat. And sure enough, the silence was deafening. I was sent for an emergency u/s to confirm no fetal tones.
I'm terrified of what happens next. My doctor said she usually advises patients to wait for a natural m/c in this type of situation, but that I could opt for a D&C if I choose. I hate feeling like a coffin. A ticking time bomb just waiting for something to happen. So far there is no sign of the end. She says it could take weeks, and I don't think I can deal with that. But I may have to, as my insurance will not cover a voluntary D&C; only if the doctor deems it as medically necessary. From reading posts here I see that it's quite an expensive procedure. I need to talk to my doctor about this when I go in for follow up bloodwork on Thursday. I just want to get past this.
Thanks for listening. I'm afraid that I scared the bejesus out of my month board when I posted about my missed m/c yesterday, and I'm feeling guilty for that. :/ I'm so sorry for all of your losses, also.