2nd Trimester
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my husband is stressing me out!
is this normal? my husband just won't quit harping on the most trivial things. he keeps taking normal things and making them into huge situations. i feel so stressed out and he just won't quit. could it be because the baby is not a "real" person to him yet? has anyone else had trouble like this? i want to cry and scream!
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Re: my husband is stressing me out!
I think you will calm down and those things won't even be in your mind anymore. Maybe he isn't being supportive enough for you right now.
Could you be having preg. depression symptoms?
Not saying that is the problem, but it could make it worse and make you have hopeless feelings, like divorce, adopting out the baby kind of stuff. I know that these are probably more like an expression of how bad you feel instead of actions that you would really act on. I could be wrong though.
Just to warn you though, some people might start bashing you really horribly if they read the part about divorce/adopting.
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this though. I think through all of my pregnancies (this is the 3rd) I have gotten to this point, with different problems. Sometimes DH, sometimes other family. Keep having those good crys, the help.
I was actually just about to post a topic about this!! I feel your pain, just know you are not alone in feeling this way. Just don't let your relationship interfere with the relationship you will have with your baby... you're only short changing yourself in that situation and you don't want that!
However, I do completely understand... I am SO SICK of getting into arguments where he says something stupid that makes me upset and he blames my hormones... like it couldn't be his stupid mouth! I've been trying my hardest to let little things go but he lets tiny things blow up into huge arguments where I end up crying then expects "I'm sorry" to cut it. There are only so many times you get burned until need to start avoiding the fire! I'm sure all his friends hear about is how crazy I am with my hormones but it's just not fair, I can admit when I fly off the handle but I hate how everything gets blamed on that.
I see women with these supportive husbands who treat them with so much kindness and patience while they're pregnant and then I look at my relationship and it makes me really depressed. I keep telling him that getting upset like this so often can really do harm to the baby, and of course he promises that things will change and here we are again. UGH.
Just needed to vent. I wish I had an answer or some help for you, just hang in there and hold your head up, and remember that your baby is ALWAYS on your side.. for the next few months anyhow!
my DH is really doing a great job at dealing with everything I have gone though being pregnant and I have to give him credit for that. He is the least stressed person I know, he never lets small things get to him. But lately he started getting really worked up about money things, and putting a lot of stress on me about it. Then of course I freak out, or cry, or we fight. And Im like ' why are you trying to stress me out?' We had friends over for dinner last week, and we were talking about this together, and they said they went through the same thing. Men tend to react to pregnancy and becoming fathers (this is our first baby) at different stages then women do. So now that my belly is noticeable and I can feel the baby I am getting really excited about how real it is, while DH is getting really stressed about how real it is.
Im not sure if this is at all what you mean you are going through, but I tried working it out with him by getting to what was really bothering him. Its not about me crying, or any of the trivial things we have been fighting about, its about his fears in becoming a father and the sole support of me and the baby (we are planning for me to stay home). Once we started having real conversations about it, things started getting better. That, and I have lots of friends I turn to about pregnancy questions and stuff, but I think he feel isolated about his feelings. So it was good for him to hear from another dad that its normal to feel these things. Maybe it would help him to vent some of his feelings to someone else and not always you.
I agree. Men sometimes just do NOT understand, or are just not considerate of the mental, physical, and emotional changes we are going through. They do not understand the stress they can put us under. Your post didn't say how far along you are. Are you showing much? I found that when I really started showing (about month 5 for me), my SO stressing me out about stuff decreased significantly. We still disagree but its nothing like the first and very beginning of the second trimester.
Hang in there love!
I understand you. I just got into a big fight with DH last night. Lately he's been good, but last night he started to go back to his old ways when he gets mad. Example, he was getting upset over the conversation, and at the time he was chopping some tomatoes....well,....as a stupid immature kid, he began chopping the tomatoes with great force....I guess to prove how mad he was. I just stood there looking at him and told him that he's acting like an idiot child by slamming down the knife into the tomatoes.
Well guess what? A few moments later did he cut himself doing so. Frankly, I thought that it was Karma or God's way of telling him he's acting like a douche. Who acts like that? Regardless of the argument, no need to be immature. soooo annoying.
Amen! Instant karma!
I'm fed up with my man's anger issues... he has been working on them for a while but it's not at all where it needs to be. He is the kind of person who reacts to a situation without thinking, hurts my feelings, then after stewing about it for an hour or so realizes how stupid he was and apologizes. I don't want these kind of issues to arise when the baby is here. My parents fought a lot when I was growing up, my dad had really bad anger issues that he never dealt with. I still resent and fear my father to this day because of that and I don't want our child to go through the same thing. I've expressed this to him but he doesn't see his problem... I'm really trying to maintain this peaceful and happy attitude because I don't want my stress to affect the baby but he is making it SO hard.
i'm going through the same thing!! DH is a total selfish ass sometimes, mainly when we go to the doctor. part of me thinks he's jealous, the other part of me thinks he's freaking out about being a new dad. he usually comes around and apologizes, but not before saying really mean things and acting like he does everything. i wonder if he's bipolar at this point.
but hang in there. hopefully he'll come around. when we get into arguments, i go in the other room and read, or look up baby stuff, and remind myself that it's the baby that's important here, not him and not i.