I got my husband The Expectant Father, which has little updates for dads much like my What to Expect Book. Apparently it told him that not only was it okay, I probably wanted it and he better get some now because after the baby he would be out of luck. I think it rid him of all doubts.
We too looked at books. We found one at BooksAMillion and we were laughing so hard at some of the things in the book. Wish I could remember the name of the book.
Just talk to each other. There are some days I want too and many when I don't. His biggest fear is hurting me in some way, so we talk it out.
Good luck!
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Ugggg. I hate this topic. My husband doesn't see me sexually at all right now. He sees two milk factories and a baby exit! I have unintentionally thrown two tantrums over this and we've had sex all of twice. No amount of books or doctors ok's will change his mind. It's going to be a long year.
I would definatly talk to him, because I felt the same way also when my hubby didnt want to do anything. But after talking about it a few times I realized that it realy isnt me,,, He thinks Im still so sexy, and is even carfull about how he touches me when were sleeping because he doesnt wanna get turned on. But he feels how your husband does, he just cant get past the fact that theres a baby there and hes content to wait till after the birth. i can handle that cuz I dont feel like it now anyways..
Just hang in their and believe your man! And appreciate that hes not like my bro in law who wants my sister to be ready all the time no matter how she feels...
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My husband has told me that he is a little weirded out by having sex at times, but that really hasn't stopped us. He just always seems concerned afterwards, and asks if I'm ok and things like that. Y'all should really sit down and talk about it, especially if it is really bothering you.
Def. not alone. We had a MC in December and ended up pregnant again in March ( we had sex maybe 3 times in that period lol) and since then maybe just that many times as well. I'm at the point where i feel like a pervert because i'm feeling well enough and wanting it, but he wants nothing to do with it. He said that he knows he can't hurt me or the baby but it just weirds him out. There are times where i know he is ready to do something but then he'll walk away and go clean or something to stop himself lol. It's been extremely frustrating for me with wanting it and trying to respect his feelings as well.
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We've always had a great sex life. When I got pregnant, it just stopped. I found out that he was "creeped out because there's a baby there!". We were able to talk things out and the whole situation had NOTHING to do with me or his attraction to me. The whole situation has gotten better and it's not a "thing" between us anymore. I think that with many men, where everything was pretty much ok on that front before pregnancy are in the same boat. I know I feel super self-conscious right now and the change in sex doesn't help. Maybe letting him know that you've got to talk it out (calmly) regardless of how uncomfortable/weird he may feel will help. I blew things up like crazy in my head before getting the truth out of my DH and his reasons were nothing like the terrible reasons I had imagined.
sssooo tru...my man wont do anything due to the fact that ever since he first felt a kick he says he cant help but feel like she is goin to kick him while we busy and he does not feel comfortable at all whatsoever with that.
I think almost all men get weirded out with sex when we're pregnant. I gained only 35lbs with my son, all boobs and belly and my husband still wouldn't even look at me in that way. We had sex 7 Times through the whole thing. But little fact for everyone. Be cautious with allowing your partner to *** inside of you after 7 1/2 months. Male *** contains a hormone/chemical that induces labor. I went into labor right after finally getting my hubby to give in and give me some boom boom, and I was 5 weeks early!
Yeah, I'm kinda thinking that after me being pregnant, my husband will never want to have sex with me ever again. I really think he could care less about having the kid to begin with, so having sex with a pregnant cow, I'm sure, is not high on his priority list. I used to want like 4 or 5 kids... now I'm thinking maybe just one. Being pregnant sucks.
I understand where you are coming from. My boyfriend doesnt like to have sex either. I really be wanting it and will have to do it on his time. I asked him why is it hes turned off, and he told my because i have this huge belly. Hes the one that wanted a baby and now im the one suffering. Just one child is good enough for me. I cant stand not having sex when i feel like it. I used to could keep him off me. Now its like i have a disease and he dnt wanna be near me let alone have sex.
I know I don't have to tell you ladies that we are all different!!! I agree that wearing something sexy around the house or bedtime is a good idea. Movies help too if you are willing. I would also sugguest staying at a bed and breakfast or even a hotel to set the mood away from home. Am not expert but maybe these sugguestions will work:)
I have the opposite problem......I am 18weeks prego and don't want anything to do with sex. It's strange because before I was all about it:) My husband has been patient but it's getting ......he asks and talks about sex all the time. I have given in maybe once a week but I don't want too. However sometimes it does feels good and puts me to sleeps right away. These days my clothes are fitting tighter and this turns him on more and more. I hope this changes as the months go by.
I thought that my fiance would be that way also...but he's surprised me....and wants to have sex ALOT!!! Thank God for that becasue when I'm pregnant, not having sex would be terrible.......I'd be going to the store for sure...
And you haven't said how he gets 'weird' ?
And DO NOT think of yourself as ugly, or anything...
Is this your first pregnancy? That might be part of it if it is, because he's not used to seeing your body change in so many ways, as well as your mood swings (if you have them), he may not be too sure about how to approach you about having sex (considering you didnt want it for the first 3mths you said)...If he likes to read, then maybe try gettign him a book thats geared towards men for reading while their spouse etc is pregnant. It might help him.....
Mine too. He says it's weird to have our child between us during the deed. I told him he's in for a long drought since afterward it's going to be 2-3 months of no nookie while I heal up, and we're still two months from that. He says it's just weird. Up until 5.5 months we were fine and it was great, now he's just weirded out.
I know in the beginning my sex drive was increased and he was okay with that but, when the baby started kicking that's when things got weird. I was bothered by it more than him. He still found me attractive no matter what but, it did make things a bit more of a challenge to find a position where we were both comfortable.
You're not alone. I deal with this with EVERY pregnancy. I'm currently pregnant with our third (a baby boy!) and after 6 months, he will not make love to me anymore. For him, he finally explained that he worries about the baby. He's always been afraid of hurting it or putting me in labor early. It used to bother me terribly, but now I understand. He's just as worried about the baby as I am. I'm 28 weeks right now and we've only had sex about 3 times the whole time I've been pregnant this time too. You're gonna have things that bother him about you too, so don't put a ton of pressure on him. You need him on your side for support. You can live without sex for a little bit. I do it everytime and I'm normally a very active person when it comes to sex. Just take it one day at a time. Focus on the baby. Your husband can still hold you and kiss you and stuff instead of making love. Sometimes that's enough.
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The first couple weeks I don't think we had sex at all because we both (foolishly) were secretely thinking it might make the baby go away - we tried for 8 months. My husband decided pretty early that we couldn't do missionary anymore (way before I was showing) but he's still wanted to have sex. We've probably cut down to twice a week now. It's difficult in some ways just because you have to do so much adjusting and changing your regular sexual routine once pregnant because of all the body changes.
I have two friends who both said their husbands were not interested in sex at all with them after the first trimester. Rest assured that your hubby is not the only one.
I'm definitely still wanting to! We haven't much because of some bleeding I was having. Doctor said no intercourse till the bleeding was gone. Not liking it one bit!
I went through the same thing with my hubby with my second baby! It's not that he doesn't find your sexy or anything like that it's the fact that you have a baby in there growing and he is more worried about the baby then he is having sex, Crazy i know! Just sit him down and talk to him about it. It helps ALOT!
my husband was weirded out by my huge belly& its kinda uncomfortable for me.
also for those husbands who are scared/weirded out about the baby kicking them during the deed,just try "girl" on top,its a lil more work than usual,but then he doesnt feel ur tummy on him so much,or "doggy style" he wont feel ur tummy at all.
i was feeling quite ugly when my hubby wouldn't have sex with me,turns out he was just uncomfortable with my tummy in the way.
I ant wait,if my son is born on his due date then i have 44 days left.
MH didnt want to at first either. I dont think it helped that a friend of ours whose wife is pregnant, told him that he could feel Sophia (their baby to be) hitting "him". OH PLEASE! He shouldnt give himself so much credit. So, I took matters into my own hands and seduced him one night. He is still kinda strange about it, but I do think you guys should talk first, and then buy yourself something that makes you feel incredible! The confidence will definatly help not only you, but him, too. Keep in mind, we need to make ourselves feel pretty and sexy too!
Hi, I just wanted to say, thanks for posting this! I went through the first thing my first pregnany and now the second time around, same story. My hubby thinks it is weird because the baby is right there. LOL. So, considering I feel awful anyway and hate that I don't have the energy to work out like I normally do, I have to say I'm pretty much okay with it now that we've talked it out. Good luck.
For us sex has deminished since I've gotten pregnant. It did pick up at the beginning of the 2nd trimester but now that we are almost to the 3rd I'm just not in the mood. We've talked about it a couple times. He doesn't want to pressure me if I'm not feeling it. He also really loves to play with my breasts and since they are so sore all the time I think he just can't get in the mood as much when they are off limits. Also since we have started feeling the baby move externally it kind of freaks us both out. I know she doesn't know what's going on but it's hard not to know our daughter is growing in there.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! IT IS NOT YOU! My husband and I haven't had sex once since I've been pregnant and this is our second child. It happened with my first pregnancy too and I felt the exact same way as you are right now. I thought it was because of the weight or the way I looked or something and we've talked a lot about it since. Even though he knows - from books, tv shows, and doctor's own words - that it is safe, he just can't do it. With our first, we maybe had sex three or four times throughout and this time around, it is a big fat ZERO I'll admit it is super frustrating! I am not one of those preggers that is not in the mood or am sick all the time - quite the opposite actually. I have never wanted it more (Sorry if this is TMI) so I take of myself - almost everyday. It gets a little depressing when I choose to think about it but I know he would be so weirded out if I "forced" him to do it and neither one of us would enjoy it. He is so excited to be having another baby but the whole idea of having a growing human inside you just seems "alien" he says. I say he's ridiculous but we laugh about it and will just continue to wait til baby is born and the time is right. I know waiting isn't right for everyone so try talking to him. Tell him he can at least do other things to help you feel more loved and beautiful like maybe pedicures (cause I know I need one ), dinners for just the two of you, couples massages. Best of luck to you hon!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! IT IS NOT YOU! My husband and I haven't had sex once since I've been pregnant and this is our second child. It happened with my first pregnancy too and I felt the exact same way as you are right now. I thought it was because of the weight or the way I looked or something and we've talked a lot about it since. Even though he knows - from books, tv shows, and doctor's own words - that it is safe, he just can't do it. With our first, we maybe had sex three or four times throughout and this time around, it is a big fat ZERO I'll admit it is super frustrating! I am not one of those preggers that is not in the mood or am sick all the time - quite the opposite actually. I have never wanted it more (Sorry if this is TMI) so I take of myself - almost everyday. It gets a little depressing when I choose to think about it but I know he would be so weirded out if I "forced" him to do it and neither one of us would enjoy it. He is so excited to be having another baby but the whole idea of having a growing human inside you just seems "alien" he says. I say he's ridiculous but we laugh about it and will just continue to wait til baby is born and the time is right. I know waiting isn't right for everyone so try talking to him. Tell him he can at least do other things to help you feel more loved and beautiful like maybe pedicures (cause I know I need one ), dinners for just the two of you, couples massages. Best of luck to you hon!
Around 24 weeks my husband stopped showing interest as well. It made me feel insecure...especially with the dumb comments about my nipples changing. We talked about it, and he said it was weird to have sex with the baby right there, he just didn't feel right. It got weirder for him as the baby presence became more apparent too. We had only been haing sex around once a month. I was recently put on bed rest, so now he's regretting that facing a 3-4 month drought of absolutely no sex.
I'd have a talk with him, I've heard a lot of guys are a fraid of hurting the baby, or weirded outby the baby being there...or afraid of hurting their wife.
Well... I am in my second trimester "I'm not that type of girl" I've been useing porn 2 turn my husband on it helps remind him that its just a stage , It's only temp just remind him and don't complain about your body . It's only going 2 stress him out and sometimes he might be confortable with just oral it works for after 9yrs.
I completely understand and agree. We stopped having sex at 36 weeks, we were having sex about 2-3 x per month. I am now 38 weeks and still want it, but we had a healthy heart to heart about how it feels for him looking at me carrying our baby. " you are a beautiful, sexy life- vessel and I couldn't be more attracted to you right now, I just want cherish these last couple weeks and not hurt you" No matter how much pleading I do, I will never understand how he is feeling physically and he will definately understand my physical needs, but I did appreciate his lovely words. I even tried the "it's going to be a long 4-6 weeks after she's here" and nothing : )
I'm there with you. My husband didnt want to do it when I was pregnant with our first. Its not you. The way my husband put it is a) he was afraid he'd hurt the baby and b) he felt like there was a third person involved. If you've ever seen the movie Knocked Up, I think the scene where shes like 8 months pregnant and they're trying to have sex pretty well sums it up.
FIRST, your baby is ADORABLE! Beautiful picture. My fiance and i are having our first son together (i have a daughter from previous thats 3 yrs old) we have not had sex since I was 4 months pregnant with our son, he says because I act weird after we get done..that i start bugging him or wanting to cuddle...i totally feel the same way you do, i feel ugly and fat and like im not good enough...im due next wednesday and were going in to be induced and im afraid we will never do anythin again after him sayin that to me..but at the same time this is OUR first (hsi first son) and im afraid he is just scared and nervous about it all. But like a man he will not show it at all and if i try to talk to him about why we dont have sex he gives me the same answer..you know why...i hate that more than anything but i really am hoping that once im healed up and babys in his own room that things will get better..best of luck to you sweetie because im in the same boat.
That is awsome your husbands a doctor and goes thru it also I love that. But my hubby and i only went thru it the first trimester then we were like bunnies so much so i got pregnant shortly after my first was born :P
My poor DH is so paranoid that he might hurt the baby that he has, ahem, performance issues if we try to have sex. He explained to me that he knows intellectually that it's safe and that she won't feel anything, but that his subconscious is so irrationally afraid that he can't do anything.
I wouldn't worry about your husband not being attracted to you anymore. Trust me, if he's anything like mine, he'll still be grabbing your butt (or copping a feel!) any chance he gets, even if he can't or doesn't feel comfortable preforming.
Try cuddling and kissing a little instead. If he feels ok with it, then you might also try sex without intercourse. Otherwise, get something so that you can take care of your own sexual needs for now, without putting pressure on your hubby to preform. Just make sure he knows that, even though you two might not be having sex now, you still need just a little reassurance that he still finds you sexy as all get-out.
I am literally sitting awake right now pining about this and decided to see if it was just me... thank god. My guy is always too stressed or too tired, I swear he even faked sleeping once. I feel like a troll...at least my vibrator still loves me.
Re: Husband weirded out by sex...
I agree with most of the previous posts, your husband is probably just worried about hurting the baby and you definitely need to talk to him about it.
My husband on the other hand won't leave me alone and I want nothing to do with it...so I suppose we have the opposite problem. haha
We too looked at books. We found one at BooksAMillion and we were laughing so hard at some of the things in the book. Wish I could remember the name of the book.
Just talk to each other. There are some days I want too and many when I don't. His biggest fear is hurting me in some way, so we talk it out.
Good luck!
I would definatly talk to him, because I felt the same way also when my hubby didnt want to do anything. But after talking about it a few times I realized that it realy isnt me,,, He thinks Im still so sexy, and is even carfull about how he touches me when were sleeping because he doesnt wanna get turned on. But he feels how your husband does, he just cant get past the fact that theres a baby there and hes content to wait till after the birth. i can handle that cuz I dont feel like it now anyways..
Just hang in their and believe your man! And appreciate that hes not like my bro in law who wants my sister to be ready all the time no matter how she feels...
sssooo tru...my man wont do anything due to the fact that ever since he first felt a kick he says he cant help but feel like she is goin to kick him while we busy and he does not feel comfortable at all whatsoever with that.
I know I don't have to tell you ladies that we are all different!!! I agree that wearing something sexy around the house or bedtime is a good idea. Movies help too if you are willing. I would also sugguest staying at a bed and breakfast or even a hotel to set the mood away from home. Am not expert but maybe these sugguestions will work:)
I have the opposite problem......I am 18weeks prego and don't want anything to do with sex. It's strange because before I was all about it:) My husband has been patient but it's getting ......he asks and talks about sex all the time. I have given in maybe once a week but I don't want too. However sometimes it does feels good and puts me to sleeps right away. These days my clothes are fitting tighter and this turns him on more and more. I hope this changes as the months go by.
I thought that my fiance would be that way also...but he's surprised me..
..and wants to have sex ALOT!!! Thank God for that becasue when I'm pregnant, not having sex would be terrible....
...I'd be going to the store for sure...
And you haven't said how he gets 'weird' ?
And DO NOT think of yourself as ugly, or anything...
Is this your first pregnancy? That might be part of it if it is, because he's not used to seeing your body change in so many ways, as well as your mood swings (if you have them), he may not be too sure about how to approach you about having sex (considering you didnt want it for the first 3mths you said)...If he likes to read, then maybe try gettign him a book thats geared towards men for reading while their spouse etc is pregnant. It might help him.....
I know in the beginning my sex drive was increased and he was okay with that but, when the baby started kicking that's when things got weird. I was bothered by it more than him. He still found me attractive no matter what but, it did make things a bit more of a challenge to find a position where we were both comfortable.
Good Luck!
You're not alone. I deal with this with EVERY pregnancy. I'm currently pregnant with our third (a baby boy!) and after 6 months, he will not make love to me anymore. For him, he finally explained that he worries about the baby. He's always been afraid of hurting it or putting me in labor early. It used to bother me terribly, but now I understand. He's just as worried about the baby as I am. I'm 28 weeks right now and we've only had sex about 3 times the whole time I've been pregnant this time too. You're gonna have things that bother him about you too, so don't put a ton of pressure on him. You need him on your side for support. You can live without sex for a little bit. I do it everytime and I'm normally a very active person when it comes to sex. Just take it one day at a time. Focus on the baby. Your husband can still hold you and kiss you and stuff instead of making love. Sometimes that's enough.
The first couple weeks I don't think we had sex at all because we both (foolishly) were secretely thinking it might make the baby go away
- we tried for 8 months. My husband decided pretty early that we couldn't do missionary anymore (way before I was showing) but he's still wanted to have sex. We've probably cut down to twice a week now. It's difficult in some ways just because you have to do so much adjusting and changing your regular sexual routine once pregnant because of all the body changes.
I have two friends who both said their husbands were not interested in sex at all with them after the first trimester. Rest assured that your hubby is not the only one.
my husband was weirded out by my huge belly& its kinda uncomfortable for me.
also for those husbands who are scared/weirded out about the baby kicking them during the deed,just try "girl" on top,its a lil more work than usual,but then he doesnt feel ur tummy on him so much,or "doggy style" he wont feel ur tummy at all.
i was feeling quite ugly when my hubby wouldn't have sex with me,turns out he was just uncomfortable with my tummy in the way.
I ant wait,if my son is born on his due date then i have 44 days left.
For us sex has deminished since I've gotten pregnant. It did pick up at the beginning of the 2nd trimester but now that we are almost to the 3rd I'm just not in the mood. We've talked about it a couple times. He doesn't want to pressure me if I'm not feeling it. He also really loves to play with my breasts and since they are so sore all the time I think he just can't get in the mood as much when they are off limits. Also since we have started feeling the baby move externally it kind of freaks us both out. I know she doesn't know what's going on but it's hard not to know our daughter is growing in there.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! IT IS NOT YOU! My husband and I haven't had sex once since I've been pregnant and this is our second child. It happened with my first pregnancy too and I felt the exact same way as you are right now. I thought it was because of the weight or the way I looked or something and we've talked a lot about it since. Even though he knows - from books, tv shows, and doctor's own words - that it is safe, he just can't do it. With our first, we maybe had sex three or four times throughout and this time around, it is a big fat ZERO
I'll admit it is super frustrating! I am not one of those preggers that is not in the mood or am sick all the time - quite the opposite actually. I have never wanted it more (Sorry if this is TMI) so I take of myself - almost everyday. It gets a little depressing when I choose to think about it but I know he would be so weirded out if I "forced" him to do it and neither one of us would enjoy it. He is so excited to be having another baby but the whole idea of having a growing human inside you just seems "alien" he says. I say he's ridiculous but we laugh about it and will just continue to wait til baby is born and the time is right. I know waiting isn't right for everyone so try talking to him. Tell him he can at least do other things to help you feel more loved and beautiful like maybe pedicures (cause I know I need one 
), dinners for just the two of you, couples massages. Best of luck to you hon!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! IT IS NOT YOU! My husband and I haven't had sex once since I've been pregnant and this is our second child. It happened with my first pregnancy too and I felt the exact same way as you are right now. I thought it was because of the weight or the way I looked or something and we've talked a lot about it since. Even though he knows - from books, tv shows, and doctor's own words - that it is safe, he just can't do it. With our first, we maybe had sex three or four times throughout and this time around, it is a big fat ZERO
I'll admit it is super frustrating! I am not one of those preggers that is not in the mood or am sick all the time - quite the opposite actually. I have never wanted it more (Sorry if this is TMI) so I take of myself - almost everyday. It gets a little depressing when I choose to think about it but I know he would be so weirded out if I "forced" him to do it and neither one of us would enjoy it. He is so excited to be having another baby but the whole idea of having a growing human inside you just seems "alien" he says. I say he's ridiculous but we laugh about it and will just continue to wait til baby is born and the time is right. I know waiting isn't right for everyone so try talking to him. Tell him he can at least do other things to help you feel more loved and beautiful like maybe pedicures (cause I know I need one 
), dinners for just the two of you, couples massages. Best of luck to you hon!
Around 24 weeks my husband stopped showing interest as well. It made me feel insecure...especially with the dumb comments about my nipples changing. We talked about it, and he said it was weird to have sex with the baby right there, he just didn't feel right. It got weirder for him as the baby presence became more apparent too. We had only been haing sex around once a month.
I was recently put on bed rest, so now he's regretting that facing a 3-4 month drought of absolutely no sex.
I'd have a talk with him, I've heard a lot of guys are a fraid of hurting the baby, or weirded outby the baby being there...or afraid of hurting their wife.
Well... I am in my second trimester "I'm not that type of girl" I've been useing porn 2 turn my husband on it helps remind him that its just a stage , It's only temp just remind him and don't complain about your body . It's only going 2 stress him out and sometimes he might be confortable with just oral it works for after 9yrs.
I completely understand and agree. We stopped having sex at 36 weeks, we were having sex about 2-3 x per month. I am now 38 weeks and still want it, but we had a healthy heart to heart about how it feels for him looking at me carrying our baby. " you are a beautiful, sexy life- vessel and I couldn't be more attracted to you right now, I just want cherish these last couple weeks and not hurt you" No matter how much pleading I do, I will never understand how he is feeling physically and he will definately understand my physical needs, but I did appreciate his lovely words. I even tried the "it's going to be a long 4-6 weeks after she's here" and nothing : )
OH Well Life goes on!!
My poor DH is so paranoid that he might hurt the baby that he has, ahem, performance issues if we try to have sex. He explained to me that he knows intellectually that it's safe and that she won't feel anything, but that his subconscious is so irrationally afraid that he can't do anything.
I wouldn't worry about your husband not being attracted to you anymore. Trust me, if he's anything like mine, he'll still be grabbing your butt (or copping a feel!) any chance he gets, even if he can't or doesn't feel comfortable preforming.
Try cuddling and kissing a little instead. If he feels ok with it, then you might also try sex without intercourse. Otherwise, get something so that you can take care of your own sexual needs for now, without putting pressure on your hubby to preform. Just make sure he knows that, even though you two might not be having sex now, you still need just a little reassurance that he still finds you sexy as all get-out.
IM NOT!!! lol
UGH!!