3rd Trimester

DH vent. I'm tired of this...

This man is moodier than I am. I seriously cannot tolerate it much longer, I'm going to lose it. I don't work Fridays, but had a safety fair today so went in this morning to get it done before he had to go to work. I got home, and he asked me if his work pants were clean. So I remember: Crap, no, because I forgot and the ones he brought down are still in the basket. I told him this, and that I had washed a different pair of them with some of my laundry and asked if those would be ok because I clearly didn't have time to wash the others. This was fine, but then he tells me the button on them is broken and they don't work and now he's screwed because his "wife is irresponsible" and "this is unforgivable". WTH! I should have pushed him down the stairs like I wanted to at that point... but I stayed calm and told him I apologized for forgetting about them, but he should have thought about it before 20 minutes before he had to leave, and he would have had time to wash them earlier. But no, it's my fault. So as he's walking out the door he takes the mail key and says "I'll get the mail, you'll just forget." Seriously?! It's not ok for me to make a mistake on anything... ever. It's never forgivable, even when it's small things like this. I'm so sick of it... I realize he's got "health problems" (to the extent of migraines and panic attacks.. which are more of an excuse for things than pregnancy is. apparently), but hello! I'm 8-9 months pregnant working full time and also being a full time mother to a 2 year old and 2 German Shepards, and manning everything around the house... but mistakes aren't forgivable.

 

 

UGH!!!!!!!!

end. vent. 

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Re: DH vent. I'm tired of this...

  • I'm sorry you're going through a tough time with your DH. It sounds very frustrating and you should probably discuss how you're feeling with him. It sounds like he is frustrated, too, and it would probably do both of you good to discuss things.

    All that being said...

    When you said that he said that forgetting to wash his laundry was "unforgivable" I actually laughed out loud. If I were you, I would have had a hard time not laughing out loud as he said it, in fact. Seriously? "UNFORGIVABLE?" I hope he's joking.

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  • Tell him to do his own laundry. Bottom line.
    We split the chore - I sort, he runs/switches it (because we are on the second floor and laundry is in the basement). Then we both fold and put away. That's the schedule. We do our laundry every Sunday. Once a week and that's it. It's worked out well for us.

    Hang in there - I know it's a hard/emotional time and I want to flip about every little thing DH does.
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  • Easy solution, have him do his own laundry. He's a big boy and if he can't treat you with respect why should you do his laundry??? Seriously its time for him to grow up.

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  • Wow, what a crab! He needs to learn to do his own damn laundry. He has no right saying these things to you. Men can be suck jerks sometimes, and of course they are never wrong. Hope things get better for you :)
  • As a fellow anxiety/panic attack sufferer I have to say it sounds like his anxiety is way up there as he sounds pretty unrational. Has the doctor perscribed him anything to help with it?
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  • Ugghh, sorry you have to deal with all that.  It's his attitude that's unforgivable.  

    When I was pregnant with DS, it was really hard at first for DH to understand and accept the sudden "pregnancy brain" forgetfulness from his usually well-organized wife.  He thought I was neglecting him on purpose :(

    Luckily he's been more understanding this time around, which is fortunate because I've dropped the ball more than once on things that are so much more consequential than not getting the mail or doing laundry.    

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  • image cookierlr1:
    As a fellow anxiety/panic attack sufferer I have to say it sounds like his anxiety is way up there as he sounds pretty unrational. Has the doctor perscribed him anything to help with it?

    Yeah, he has something he can take PRN when he starts getting anxious... which I hope he took before he got to work because it's going to be a long day for everyone he comes in contact with if he didn't. He also has a daily something, but it doesn't have the full effect because he needs the PRN. It's not like him to get help for things, so when he finally saw someone for his outbursts I was really proud of him. But I haven't seen much of a change in him yet... it's fairly recent. Hoping for the best........

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  • image aerotigergirl:

    I'm sorry you're going through a tough time with your DH. It sounds very frustrating and you should probably discuss how you're feeling with him. It sounds like he is frustrated, too, and it would probably do both of you good to discuss things.

    All that being said...

    When you said that he said that forgetting to wash his laundry was "unforgivable" I actually laughed out loud. If I were you, I would have had a hard time not laughing out loud as he said it, in fact. Seriously? "UNFORGIVABLE?" I hope he's joking.

    I agree with this. Using words like unforgivable is also a bit scary. If he really believes that, what might make him snap one day? Not having dinner ready when he decides to have dinner guests without telling you? (I've heard a similar story, and it didn't turn out well.) I hope you guys are able to work this out soon! Good luck! 

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  • "if you want something done right, honey, do it yourself" and walk away.
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  • I agree with the PP...he should do his own laundry.  You have a job and care for a 2 year old.  
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  • My husband would not have another stitch of his clothes done by me EVER!  Like seriously... EVER!  Five years ago he told me I didn't hang his shirts right and I will not do it again!  I won't hang his shirts.  I leave them on a chair. 

    I understand that your husband has anxiety and such but seriously...  this is not 1920.  

  • and that would be the end of laundry for me.

    i don't do dh's laundry anyway though.  

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  • Are you sure you don't already have 2 children? Because he's acting like one himself.

    This isn't 1952 and my husband does his own laundry every week. Sometimes I will be nice and do his for him if I have the time and energy but it is by no means EXPECTED of me (and he is genuinely appreciative of my efforts when that is the case). Honestly, your husband is acting like a douche.

    Sorry he has anxierty issues, etc but that doesn't exclude him from common decency with his wife.

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  • image IMFun:

    My husband would not have another stitch of his clothes done by me EVER!  Like seriously... EVER!  Five years ago he told me I didn't hang his shirts right and I will not do it again!  I won't hang his shirts.  I leave them on a chair. 

    I understand that your husband has anxiety and such but seriously...  this is not 1920.  

    This would be exactly me.  I don't think I would even say anything.  I would just start sorting out his laundry and keeping my stuff and the kids stuff done and just leave his in a pile for him to do.

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  • I would not be doing his laundry anymore, like the previous posters said.
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