Funny sh!t your kid says - add yours

Susie2005

This was my gem this morning.

DS (while sitting on the potty):  Mommy, wouldn't it be funny if the poop came out of my penis and the pee came out of my bottom?

 

How do you even respond to that??

Sunflower777

We just got back from a week in Florida. During the vacation, I was buckling my 4.5 y.o. into his car seat while wearing sunglasses. He looked at me & said, "Mom, I can see my erection in your sunglasses."

He meant reflection.

Had to choke back a snort at that one.  

Alibabs

My 5 year-old constantly says when he is reminiscing, "Mum, remember a long, long time ago when I was 4 or 3 or 2 or 1........." LOL

belle204

Those are hilarious. A says so much funny stuff. I'm particularly amused by her telling me she remembered being in the womb and that remembers talking to the Apostle Peter. Um, wtf? A few weeks ago she asked me if she came out of my stomach or my butt so I told her she came out of my vagina. She stopped, pointed and said, "Where you peepee?!" Oh.my.gah!"

Yodajo

Sam's teacher asked all his classmates where they were going for Spring Break and Sam must have felt left out or jealous because he told them all we were taking a vacation to downtown Detroit.  Not your typical Spring Break destination!

Max is just so stinkin' cute that everything he says is cute.  My favorite is that he has to wake up once every night (not so cute) and as soon as I walk in, he says, "I want to cuddle, Mama" .  Melts my heart and I look forward to it every night.

jettagurl

Ben is supposed to bring an insect to preschool this month for show & tell.  He told his teacher he would bring an ant - - -because we have them in our house. 

eek!

Also a couple nights ago he said, "Eli is the brightest of the kids."  I said, "Oh, his jammies (bright green Toy Story ones)?"  Ben said, "No, mom, his skin!" 

hahaha.  He also claims that Daddy, Nat and Gabi are brown; he, Eli and I are white.  Then he'll say, "weeeeelllll, maybe I'm a little bit brown." 

goodheartedmommy

Bella: "Mom, Treechuck's friends are jealous of my awesomeness. They think my awesomeness is angriness but really it's just prettiness." Treechuck is her imaginary friend.

Oh, Maile. She kills me. Truck isfuck. The best is strawberry. It is fvckbuddy. Kills us. 

We were at a friend's house and Maile was nursing one of the baby dolls there, as usual. This particular day she decided she had "beer in my neeples!" The baby was really "num num num" at the beer. 

Maile comes to hug you and makes the biggest deal "I love you too much. You weelly cute Mommy. I wike you! My FAY-vrite." She's in a really sweet stage.

 

Kattey

belle204:

Those are hilarious. A says so much funny stuff. I'm particularly amused by her telling me she remembered being in the womb and that remembers talking to the Apostle Peter. Um, wtf? A few weeks ago she asked me if she came out of my stomach or my butt so I told her she came out of my vagina. She stopped, pointed and said, "Where you peepee?!" Oh.my.gah!"

Hey now, my Grandma swears she remembers being in the womb and being in heaven before conception. I'd like to point out that she's saner and more clear headed than I am. Ya never know.

xbrooklyngrl

Yesterday Brooke was a fairy Godmother and she says to DH and I

"poof you're a fat frog" to DH

"poof you're a skinny princess" to me

LOL

dnagal

"Mommy!  I could plant these seeds and grow a BAGEL tree!  With BAGELS on it!"  (sesame seeds)

and from a year ago..."Mommy, your tummy is big because there's a baby in there....are there babies in your legs too?"  sigh. 

goodheartedmommy

Bella remembered being born, though she doesn't now. Out of the blue, shortly after she turned 2, we were on a road trip and to me and DH she says "Why was I born under a tent in that room with all the people I don't know?" The tent is the big tarp thing they drape over your legs. She remembered a lot of weird details. Apparently there is a window where some kids can remember being born.