3rd Trimester

how would you have reacted?

So, I'm now past my due date...and after the appointment today it doesn't look like my baby is coming any time soon.  The doctor is definitely talking c-section right now because of the size of the baby and the lack of dilation/effacement.

Well, my birthday is tomorrow, and with little to no sign of the baby coming, I figured my DH and I would celebrate tomorrow.  DH comes home today with a birthday cake, lit candles, card and flowers.  All very very nice things, but as he was singing Happy Birthday all I could say was "It's not my birthday, it's not my birthday".  He said he just wanted to make sure we get to celebrate together in case the baby comes tomorrow (which after the appointment we had today it is looking very unlikely).  I just started crying and said, "If we celebrate today, I'llhave nothing to look forward to tomorrow" and now I feel like a total b*tch because he was trying to be nice, but I just couldn't get over my own disappointment from the earlier appointment and the fact that we would have nothing to do tomorrow on my actual birthday (finances are a REAL issue for us right now).  So, would anyone else have reacted similarly or am I completely on my own hormonal boat right now?

Re: how would you have reacted?

  • I see your point--you want something to look forward to ON your b-day---especially while waiting for baby--BUT it sounds like your husband was trying to be sweet and maybe even "help" with being positive about things.  You never know. 

    So I would probably apologize and look forward to leftover cake-that's the best part.  Is there any way you could treat yourself to an inexpensive pedicure??

  • I'm not a real birthday person, so to me ... sounds like hormones. And given that you are 40 weeks, that's 110 percent okay!
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  • Sorry your Dr. is suggesting a c-section.  :(  That's awful. 

     I have been looking at my pregnancy at 42 weeks 0 days would be me going past the due date....  It really is an arbitrary number.  I will pray your LO makes an appearance naturally and gives you a surprise!!  :)  

  • Coming up on 42 weeks, I am familiar with strange emotional reactions. Yes, it sounds like you're hormonal, and yes, it is totally okay. You're disappointed. Try to remember what you're disappointment is really about (probably your expectations for your due date, not your early birthday celebration).

    My only other two cents is to remember that your DH is on an emotional roller coaster, too. Take it easy on each other. (I needed that advice at 38 and 39 weeks... somehow we've worked through it for now.)

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  • Why wouldn't they try cervadil or misopropyl to get you to dilate or efface before talking c section?  As to your question I say hormones but justified.

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  • Right now everything is about Baby and I think that maybe you just wanted something that is just about you. I'm sure your DH had only the best of intentions. You should apologize and maybe try to enjoy the rest of the evening. If he is considerate enough to try and celebrate today then I am sure that he can understand that you are hormonal and under alot of pressure right now. You may still get the best present of all. Your baby!

  • I'd go with justified hormones.  At the same time, since your DH tried so hard, I'd bet he'll do something small tomorrow too even if finances are tight.  Hard to hear after an appointment like yours, but plenty of women leave the doc like you did today only to have labor start naturally all on its own a day or two later.  Who knows, you might just get a really great birthday surprise! 
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  • I get where you are coming from, but hubby was trying to be nice and supportive, I would say sorry and pig out on cake.  Maybe tomorrow you could have a kind of spa day at home with a nice bath and he could give you a foot rub or do something cheap like walk around the mall together or something similar.  Walking is supposed to help with getting labor started anyway.  Im keeping my fingers crossed for you and Happy Birthday!!!
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  • Hormones.

    It's actually really sweet of your husband to put so much thought into your birthday -- and to celebrate it a day early so that he could make sure nothing detracted from it! I'd wipe away the dissappointed tears, and be thankful you have such a wonderful hubby! I can understand where you are coming from, but honestly by this point in life, I feel like it's not so much the actual "date" that matters, but the fact that people actually remembered, thought about you, and went out of their way to make you happy ... which your DH is clearly doing! 

    You're bday will still be fun tomorrow ... have DH spend quality time with you, watch a movie and ask him to paint your toes :) 

     

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  • I'm a big birthday person so I totally understand where you're coming from.  I would be bummed that my birthday was celebrated the day before and then we had nothing to do on the actual day.  But, I do see the other side as well.  And, yes, your hormones are raging.  DH has done a few things that have pissed me off and in hindsight, I realize that he was just thinking of me and I was acting like a total biotch!  Poor guys, they can't win!  I would just apologize for reacting the way you did and tell him that it was really sweet that he wanted to make sure you were able to celebrate your birthday together.

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  • image smiling76:

    I see your point--you want something to look forward to ON your b-day---especially while waiting for baby--BUT it sounds like your husband was trying to be sweet and maybe even "help" with being positive about things.  You never know. 

    So I would probably apologize and look forward to leftover cake-that's the best part.  Is there any way you could treat yourself to an inexpensive pedicure??

     

    this!  go give that man a big kiss & apologize! 

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  • This was me! The doc said your still at 3cm (4 weeks later) and then that night BOOM LABOR!

     

    Stay patient! Its so hard especially with hormones but soon enough you will look back and laugh at yourself!

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  • I am sorry about your bad appointment.

    but on a better note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope you have a great day!

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  • I agree with the pp - justified hormones. Just hug and kiss DH extra hard for the rest of the day and tell him how much you appreciate him and how guilty you feel that you couldn't shake off your disappointment and give in to the kindness of his gesture (awkward though it may have been he was really trying to cheer you up...). But don't beat yourself up - it is completely understandable. It's not like you threw dishes at him or something.

    You hang in there! You are not past due (you won't be until you hit 42 weeks, according to the World Health Organization). Try to relax (easier said than done, I imagine) and be confident that, either way, everything is going to be ok.

    *hugs* Good luck!

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  • image ironmommy:
    I'm not a real birthday person, so to me ... sounds like hormones. And given that you are 40 weeks, that's 110 percent okay!

    THIS.

    Poor you. Why isn't he talking inducement. That seems a bit radical. Maybe you need to go back and chat again. I was induced at 41 weeks so I feel you re the hormones and disappointment. It sucks to have to wait and it sucks that it isn't happening on its own. 

    I'd call your doctor for another consult and discuss not just the medical side of things again (although get him/her to explain about different procedures) but also get him to discuss your global care - like your feelings about it and about what you had hoped as far as a birth plan. Will probably make you feel better.

    Chin up and happy birthday lady! Give you husband a big hug and let him know where you are at.  

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