Babies: 6 - 9 Months

10 most irritating, least helpful parenting tips...Ever

Maybe this has been posted before, but a friend just emailed this to me and I laughed out loud. (sorry there are no paragraphs) And the list is as follows: 1. "Sleep now, because once that baby comes you'll never sleep again." ? Technically this is a pregnancy tip, of course, but I'm shoving it in here anyway. Yes, Great-Aunt Hildy, ? I slept throughout my entire third trimester. Because I am part bear. 2. "Sleep when the baby sleeps." ? Everyone gives you this one ? annoying relatives, pediatricians, the cashier at the drugstore where you were buying newborn diapers. Are these people all robots, capable of instantly dropping off to sleep whenever their child is unconscious? Do they not have other things to do, like bathe, or simply relish the rare moments of silence you get when you have an infant? 3. "I think your baby's hungry." ? Whether you're nursing or bottle-feeding, ? everyone assumes you don't know how to feed your child. ? And every time your child cries, whines grimaces, or squirms, they are going to assume you are starving your poor baby and you need reminders to feed it Lest you forget! This advice is especially maddening when they turn out to be correct. 4. "Relish every moment of your baby's first years, because they'll be grown before you know it." ? You mean time only moves forward? ? I had no idea! I thought we'd be ike this forever and ever! This sort of advice, obvious and nnocuous as it seems, always put me on the defensive, as if I had just been carrying my baby under my arm like a football muttering, "Grow up already, why don't you. Just GROW UP." 5. "I hope you're sleep training that child. Do you WANT him to be spoiled?" ? Oh, distant relative/person whose aisle I shared at the supermarket, I'm so glad you know exactly my child needs. And that you know, from your years of scientific research, that any child not allowed to cry it out will be a horrible waste of flesh. 6. "I hope you're not doing that 'crying it out' thing. It's so barbaric. Enjoy your baby all through the night!" ? Again, kudos to you, whoever you are, for knowing what's best for our unique family situation! I will be calling you at 4 a.m., so you can enjoy our baby as well. 7. "Why are you bringing your child outside when it's so cold out?" ? It never ceased to amaze me that, no matter what my child's age, ? total strangers will express alarm and revulsion that I dared expose him to the elements. ?"And WHY ISN'T BE WEARING MITTENS? He's going to get consumption!" 8. "Your child isn't really sad/angry/injured. He's just manipulating you." ? There's no doubt that children can push our buttons as if they've had professional training in it but ? the notion that my kid's authentic feelings are in fact manufactured to elicit a reaction really chaps my hide. ? If that were always true, he'd be a pint-sized sociopath.? I'm pretty sure that's not the case. 9. "Schools are just glorified prisons. If you loved your child, you'd homeschool." ? Oh, if only I loved my child enough to abandon my livelihood, tear him away from the community he so enjoys, separate him from the professionals who have dedicated their careers to childhood education, and forced him to stay home all day with me where we'd be at each other's throats for hours! If only! ? Please note: ? I am not opposed to homeschooling, at all ? in fact I wish it would work for us, but it would not. 10. "If I were you, I'd just?" ? OH NO YOU DON'T. I know where this is going. Listen, unnamed distant acquaintance who last parented in the 19th century (it's true ? I often get my unwanted advice from ghosts) you don't know diddly about my kid, and our relationship, and what works for us. After reading this, I started wondering where this kind of advice comes from. ?I think that most of it comes from the"Misery loves company" school of thought, meaning "if it was this way for me, it will definitely be this way for you", which is complete bull. ?Though I may not know everything, I know enough to know that every situation is unique and only certain things are inevitable. ?Don't get me wrong, I do believe that some of this comes from a place of concern and not wanting the new parent to be surprised or caught of guard, but trust me when I say, scaring me is not going to help, it will only leave me scared... So these days, I welcome all advice and have learned to filter out the bad/strange/scary. ?Here's my question to you guys What is the craziest/scariest/worst/most annoying piece of advice you received as a pregnant person/new parent? ?I can't wait to read these :-)

Re: 10 most irritating, least helpful parenting tips...Ever

  • I think  the most annoying I got was from a co-worker who told me being both a teacher and a mom was impossible. Oh, and she is single with no kids.
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  • What I find amusing is for every person saying doing something is wrong, there is another telling you the exact opposite.  Case in point breastfeeding.

    1.  You'll never make it a whole year breastfeeding, it's too hard, it's gross and natural, and it's not worth it.

    2.  I can't believe you feed your child formula!!!  That kid is in for a world of allergies and obesity!!

  • Sleep when the baby sleeps.

    Yeah right. Easier said than done with my 2.

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  • Is your baby hungry?

    DH's family drove me crazy with this! Every time we would go to his dad's or see his aunt and DD would start crying, "Aw, she's hungry, where's her ba ba?"  DH finally got the hint that it drove me crazy and would inform them that I fed her before we left or fed her on the way.

    Another one I got constantly was, "Do you breastfeed?  You do know that is THE BEST thing for baby right?" don't say!  I thought giving her 2 shots of jager and letting her drink Pepsi out of her bottle was the best thing for her!  Then when I would repky with, "I feed her formula" I would get the head shake of disapproval...every time.  Finally I had to start explaining my disgusting choice to these people to stop the madness.  

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  • I thoroughly enjoyed this post today. I also would add the child care advice. I always have people asking "who takes care of her during the day?......  not daycare I hope."  They always whisper the word "daycare" like it is taboo and the most horrible place to put a child.  I love the look on their face when I say "Yep, and she loves it!"
  • my FIL, no matter WHAT I talk about that is baby related (im still pregnant) will answer along the lines of "yeah,right, you'll see what its really like" or "we'll talk when hes born..." like all my parenting ideas are delusional. I GET IT, life changes when you have a child. But does that mean every single parenting choice you made before hand will never work? I hate being de-valued in this way, like a dreamer with no ambition to make the "harder" choices work.
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