3rd Trimester

Your OB said What???

I have been planning a midwife attended birth for this whole pregnancy. Last minute my midwife moved and because there is no other midwives available in the area, I was switched to the OB in the office. I was expecting him to be aware that I was planning a med-free low intervention birth. I can not believe how DIFFERENT the experience is with an OB vs Midwife... It went like this.

Me: Here is my birth plan.

OB: (reads part where I don't want an epi) HAHA! Well, it's possible to do it naturally but unnecessary. It feels like being stabbed repeatedly in your stomach every 2 minutes. Trust me, you'll probably want one.

 My jaw actually dropped to the floor. I can't believe he would say something like that! Especially to a first time mom, and especially to someone who wants a med free birth. I'm not an idiot, I know it will be painfull and not easy, but I have looked at my options and for me, this is the best choice. I have nothing against epidurals, but I want to try something different. Is it so much to ask for a little encouragement from your care provider! This was TOTALLY different than talking to my midwife who always was enourageing and offering advice for pain management!

Re: Your OB said What???

  • image bea0422:

    OB: (reads part where I don't want an epi) HAHA! Well, it's possible to do it naturally but unnecessary. It feels like being stabbed repeatedly in your stomach every 2 minutes. Trust me, you'll probably want one.

     

    Oh, and HE would know this, how? What a jerk. I'm sorry you had that experience. Just stick to your plan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Good luck.

  • Was the OB in the same office as your midwife? Because you would think then he would be a little more open-minded towards natural birth. I would seriously consider switching to another OB if I were you, if for no other reason then the fact that he actually laughed at your birth plan to your face. That is incredibly disrespectful and totally unprofessional.
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  • image ChristinaMT4:
    image bea0422:

    OB: (reads part where I don't want an epi) HAHA! Well, it's possible to do it naturally but unnecessary. It feels like being stabbed repeatedly in your stomach every 2 minutes. Trust me, you'll probably want one.

     

    Oh, and HE would know this, how? What a jerk. I'm sorry you had that experience. Just stick to your plan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Good luck.

    Agreed! Just because you studied for 8+ years and have birthed 100s of babies will never ever replace the very simple fact that you are MALE and WILL NEVER actually know what those women are experiencing... douche.

    I hate men with that attitude... Grr

    I think its pretty disrespectful for him to laugh at your birth plan. Its your body, your baby and you are allowed to have a say in your birth experience. Granted they dont always go as planned but if you want med free his responsibilty is to help you manage NOT force you to have an epi...

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  • image Pookie's_Girl:
    Was the OB in the same office as your midwife? Because you would think then he would be a little more open-minded towards natural birth. I would seriously consider switching to another OB if I were you, if for no other reason then the fact that he actually laughed at your birth plan to your face. That is incredibly disrespectful and totally unprofessional.

    I wish I could! He is the only option unless I want to deliver on post and believe it or not, the military Dr.'s are even worse. Thankfully I have a great support team! I just couldn't believe that he would say that...

  • I am pregnant with my 3rd baby and did not have an epidural with the first 2.  Like you I knew that it was going to be painful (which it is) but not impossible.  Everyone has the right to do what they feel is best for them.  I can't believe what your new provider said!  I mean come on, he has never given birth.  His job is to help you get through labor and delivery safely while respecting your wishes.  Good luck!!
  • image ChristinaMT4:
    image bea0422:

    OB: (reads part where I don't want an epi) HAHA! Well, it's possible to do it naturally but unnecessary. It feels like being stabbed repeatedly in your stomach every 2 minutes. Trust me, you'll probably want one.

     

    Oh, and HE would know this, how? What a jerk. I'm sorry you had that experience. Just stick to your plan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Good luck.

    Exactly this.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do - but in a way he does know how many patients he's had say that and end up with an epi anyway... like I did first time around b/c let's face it - there is nothing that really prepares you for how this is going to feel.  Now that I'm more aware of what to expect I'm going to try again for a med-free birth but I'm still keeping my options open.

    If you're that unhappy with him then switch OB's.  And not all OB's are like this, mine is very supportive of whatever his patients want to do and is just there to let us know what our options are if we want them. 

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  • Did you ask him how it felt coming out of HIS vagina???  Seriously--men suck.

     

  • image bea0422:

    image Pookie's_Girl:
    Was the OB in the same office as your midwife? Because you would think then he would be a little more open-minded towards natural birth. I would seriously consider switching to another OB if I were you, if for no other reason then the fact that he actually laughed at your birth plan to your face. That is incredibly disrespectful and totally unprofessional.

    I wish I could! He is the only option unless I want to deliver on post and believe it or not, the military Dr.'s are even worse. Thankfully I have a great support team! I just couldn't believe that he would say that...

    That's good that you'll at least have a good support system with you. I know it makes me feel so much better about going med-free with DH on the same page as me. This way, he can fight with the hospital staff as needed on my behalf if I can't.

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  • that flat out sucks... and no other options other than on post, huh? 

    double sucks.  :(

  • Im glad to know I wasn't just being overly sensitive... I honestly don't know why you would say something like that whether your patient wanted pain meds or not! My husband and I are looking in to using a birthing center an hour away. Hopefully insurance will cover! I didn't realize it was even a possibility until a friend mentioned it to me a little bit ago.

  • Where are you stationed? Here at Ft. Campbell our L&D is amazing, I know of three mothers who have gone all natural at the hospital on post and the military docs were super supportive. I personally have a civilian OB, but my midwife was military and they are supportive of my natural birth as well.

    Sounds like you got stuck with a dud... I would have told him to keep his opinions about childbirth to himself... because that was most definitely NOT a factual piece of information presented to you in a professional manner, especially since he is a man.

  • We're military and using a local birthing center. I imagine that you've already switched to Tricare Standard, since you're seeing a civilian practice. I hope that the birth center deal works out for you! I LOVE my midwives.
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  • image ChristinaMT4:
    image bea0422:

    OB: (reads part where I don't want an epi) HAHA! Well, it's possible to do it naturally but unnecessary. It feels like being stabbed repeatedly in your stomach every 2 minutes. Trust me, you'll probably want one.

     

    Oh, and HE would know this, how? What a jerk. I'm sorry you had that experience. Just stick to your plan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Good luck.

    That was my first thought as well... HE wouldn't know what it felt like no matter how many times he's delivered a baby.  Sorry you have to deal with that.  Is it to late to find a doula that can advocate for you?

     

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  • OP- can you find and hire a doula ASAP!! They are a great advocate for natural birth in an otherwise overly-medicated hospital situation. I am planning to go natural but keeping an open mind if I need pain control. With an OB like that, I'd be scared and 2nd guessing my choice. You did your research and have made your choices. Good for you! Don't let him change your mind.
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  • I had a med/intervention-free birth with DS and am planning another this time.  Contractions felt absolutely nothing like being stabbed repeatedly in my opinion.

    I'd recommend getting a doula if you don't already have one.

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  • honestly, try not to fret about this.  with an OB - the nurse is the one that is there for your labor portion.  The OB comes in for the actual birth - so it is more important to inform the NURSE of your plans, not the OB. 
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