I need some advice. My boyfriend and I are 25 and 26 years old and love each other very much, which is why when we discovered I was pregnant we embraced it. I have PCOS and doctors initially told me I would not conceive on my own, but would need IVF, so the fact that my baby girl is healthy (as far as we can tell) is a miracle to us.
Unfortunately, she was not planned -- so a lot of aspects of our lives have shifted (understandably so). My boyfriend was greatly affected by the bad economy and has just recently started to recover in that he has found a new job and is working towards a promotion. My job is very stable, very good, and so is my insurance. But because of the financial difficulties we have chosen not to get married before baby girl gets here. Instead we want to focus on: finding a house (rental lease is up soon), focusing on his job and possible promotion, buying/preparing life for baby, etc. Boyfriend still wants to buy "the perfect ring" for me and give me a "perfect engagement story", followed by a small ceremony between the three of us (me, him, and baby). After that we'd love to have a party to celebrate with family and friends -- but mind you this is our plan for after baby arrives.
When sharing this plan with my parents (who are very traditional, and Catholic no less) we hit a very hard wall. Hurtful words were said (get married or give baby up for adoption), because to them being unmarried is not an option. They brought up the legalities we would encounter but considering marriage IS in our future (I would guesstimate within a year of baby's birth) I didn't see how waiting would be much of a problem. I know it would take 10 min. and $100 to go to the courthouse and legally become married, but is it wrong to pursue a marriage that is out of love and in our time rather than being a "knee jerk" reaction to a crisis? I am not concerned with what other people will thing -- but my parents obviously are.
Does anyone have any points that I am missing here? Wouldn't baby girl still know us as mommy and daddy and not be affected by the legalities?
PLEASE, I need some advice here. Especially with how to deal with difficult parents. I do not rely on them for anything (financially) but nevertheless it is important to me that they be supportive and happy as well.