August 2011 Moms

Husband VS the Bump

Okay, So my question to you ladies is does your husband feel like the bump and this board is his enemy. Because Lately God forbid I mention that an opinon of mine has changed due to commments and stories that you all have shared, well he instantly gets werid. We have been doing a lot of talking about Breast Feeding and I value your personal exp with that matter and he takes it as I dont believe him. ugh..well I just wanted to share.
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Re: Husband VS the Bump

  • Not at all, he usually laughs at everything I tell him. I usually only tell him the crazy stuff though. haha
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  • I don't mention things from the Bump to DH, just things from discussions with GFs he knows. Guys tend to feel "odd man out" during pregnancy, especially your first, so it's important to be careful to include him and value his opinion together as your own little family. BTW about breastfeeding, I nursed my daughter for 14mo (she weaned herself when she was walking and just too busy to be still) and loved it! Looking forward to nursing this one too. If no one's told you about them, get Lily Padz - they're wonderful and far more comfortable and natural looking under clothes than the cloth or disposable ones; I've used them all.

     


  • He doesn't get mad, but when I mention anything he'll be like, do you know these people on the bump?  He really just thinks I'm crazy. 
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  • I've been on the boards a looooooooooong time, so there has been a LOT in my life that has been influenced by the women I've met here.  Some of them are my dear friends now (and for some, actually them and their husband's are OUR dear friends now), so I think perhaps my H has eased into realizing that I'm not choosing what I listen to from a random polling of Internet weirdos...I'm actually listening to stories (on my local boards) from women I care about and respect, many of whom he has met and really liked too.  So no...he's not weird about that at all.

    If I had my mind changed about something, or learned (as, for example I did a looooong time ago by being on my local baby board a bunch) that BFing can be really challenging (some women say it's harder than all of pregnancy and labor/delivery to BF), I would probably tell my H that more in a way of, "I was reading some firsthand accounts today from some women who really struggled with BFing.  I never realized before how challenging it could be...but some even say it's harder than pregnancy and birth...it really opened my eyes to the challenge ahead and how important it will be to have your support when the time comes.  It doesn't always come naturally to all women...did you know that?"  Anyway, I think that way it comes more off as you read some stories and formed an opinion, rather than, "The bumpies said BFing is hard!"...I could see how to a husband not totally sure of who we "bumpies" are, that just sounds like a bunch of anti-BFers trying to wear you down, rather than sharing their stories and influencing how you're feeling, kwim?

    Anyway, HTH and GL!  My H is long used to it by now, haha :)

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  • Your right I think I may keep my bump stories on the back burner.

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  • I don't talk to DH about the Bump and I don't get on the computer at home.
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  • haha - I'm another secret bump user. He knows I check forums to learn about topics, but I keep it to that ;)
  • My husband just playfully rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, you loooove the bump!!!"  But I think at the same time he doesn't really get it.  I'm the first of all of my group of friends to be pregnant, so I really don't have anywhere else to go for advice (except my mom, and a lot of things have changed since she was pregnant!!)
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  • Mine actually loves TB because (a) it lets me find out about all the crazy stuff I'm overthinking 24/7 without bugging him about it (b) as a first time dad, he's also learning so likes to hear what others' experiences have been.  He's certainly not concerned about me learning stuff on here - he knows that I'm a voracious reader/researcher by nature, so if it wasn't TB it would just be something else!

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    DS1 born 08.02.11

    DS2 born 12.05.13

  • image Arlysellers:
    Okay, So my question to you ladies is does your husband feel like the bump and this board is his enemy. Because Lately God forbid I mention that an opinon of mine has changed due to commments and stories that you all have shared, well he instantly gets werid. We have been doing a lot of talking about Breast Feeding and I value your personal exp with that matter and he takes it as I dont believe him. ugh..well I just wanted to share.

    I don't tell my husband how often I am on here.  He definitely wouldn't understand.  I do foward him the weekly updates with my new fruit, but thats about it.  When I talk about specifics on here I just say "I read on the baby website." 

    As for breastfeeing, it grosses my husband out when he see's other women do it, but we both think it is really healthy for the baby and I'm a fan of it helping me to lose the baby weight too.  So if I am able to, I am 100% doing it. 

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  • image cadegani:
    Not at all, he usually laughs at everything I tell him. I usually only tell him the crazy stuff though. haha

    This! DH thinks we gang up on people and that cracks him up.

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  • I don't tell my husband about the bump.  Anything I hear here is just from "friends".  I met a few friends on the nest and he knows they were met on a message board, but nothing I learn from them becomes a part of our decision making.  As for BF, my husband really can't provide any insight since he's a man and has no experience with it. 
  • My DH is use to it because I was on the bump 5-6 months before we even started trying...lol.

    I do get this... Confused every once in a while.

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  • I avoid talking about it, because FI doesn't like when I read pg books or look things up on the interwebs, as I am an INFAMOUS hypochondriac and non stop worrier. Everything I read about, I think I have or it's going to happen to me. So I do have to be careful what I read, but I've come along way, and these message boards are far more reassuring than anything else. So I'm on it 24/7 at work, but I don't log on at home most of the time. He doesn't say anything, but I think he feels a little left out too. Poor guy LOL
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  • THIS! my husband hates even seeing me on here sometimes lol I just tell him that if I wasn't on here than he would have to hear all my tiny worries and deal with all my hormones and it usually makes him shut up Smile
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