2nd Trimester

2nd-3rd+ moms

Before we had DS we said we wanted 2-3 kids, then after him we said 2 just because we couldn't imagine loving another baby as much as him (we wanted him to have a sibling & new we would love another baby).  Now that we are developing a bond with this baby my husband and I are both thinking maybe we aren't done.  I like the idea of a family of 4 for vacations, and 2 parents 2 kids but don't want to rule out more children because of it.  So I just wanted to get your opinions.

Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  

Do you know you want to have more children?

Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  

Please share! 

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Re: 2nd-3rd+ moms

  • This is my 3rd pregnancy.  We have 2 boys, 3 and 5 years old. 

    Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Definitely. But I'll be 40 next month.

    Do you know you want to have more children?  We both said 2 before having kids.  But after DS#2 was born we both were leaning towards a 3rd.  We just weren't sure when.  Then as 40 was approaching we knew it was "no or never."

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  

    I went into TTC#3 knowing that if it didn't happen for us, we'd be happy and complete as a family of 4 but that we would love to have 3 kids.

    All that said... I'm scared to death of having the kids out number us! 

    Elizabeth
    Mommy to John (4) & Will (3)
    Due with DS#3 October 3, 2011

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  • No, we're not done.

    I love big families and only had one sibling. DH and I decided when we were engaged that 4 is our ideal number (minimum 'large family', even number, but still fits easily in the van) and that still sounds about right to us. I find myself constantly saying things about next time, and our plans always revolve around the idea that we're not done, so I don't think we are. I don't like the 2 against 1 dynamic of 3 (DH is one of three), so I'm 95% sure there will be a #4. I've always said I want to start my last pregnancy knowing it's my last, and that's not this one.

    I think our family always feels somewhat 'complete.' And then I get pregnant and wonder how I ever imagined our family without this one. I realize a bigger family could get scary for a few years while they're small, but I do look at having more children as having them for life. Bigger holidays, more (in theory) grandchildren, and all that goes with adult children. I don't think we'll ever regret having more kids.

    As far as travelling goes, we're currently looking at buying a camping trailer for DH's truck to save on hotel rooms when we travel nearby, and we anticipate with 4 kids we'll be able to swing one air trip every 12-18 months.

    I don't think this is a decision you have to make anytime soon. Just give it time, you know, when you don't have the pregnancy hormones too!! Good luck!


    Owen (March 2007), Caleb (July 2009), Eliza (July 2011) and August (September 2013)




  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Yes, this is our last child/pregnancy.

    Do you know you want to have more children?  We always wanted 2 children.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  Not sure yet, the baby is not here, but we are done either way.  2 is it for us.

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  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Yep this baby factory is shutting down after this one...This is my 4th pregnancy, but only 2nd child.

    Do you know you want to have more children? We always knew we wanted two...I really would like three but I will be happy with one of each.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  We always knew we wanted two kids...we figured we would have them be 2.5 years apart and be able to still keep up with them when we are 30. I will be 39 and dh will be 42 when DS Graduates from HS so it will be perfect!

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  • I really would like to have 3 or even 4.  DH says he always imagined that he would only have 2, but he is open to the idea of more, just not decided yet.  We will talk about a  3rd after we see what life is like with 2.

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  • This is my fifth pregnancy and hopefully our third child.  I've always wanted at least three and ideally five kids.  We've had issues though with infertility and with miscarriages so I'm pretty sure five is never going to happen.  Our plan right now is to have this baby and then try to get pregnant again using our one, little, frozen embryo.  I'll be almost 40 when we have this baby so trying on our own probably won't happen but my little embryo is from when I was 36.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

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  • After #2, we are done.  We have so many goals for our future regarding money, travel, family vacations, retirement, job positions, etc. 

    I always knew that I wanted a sibling for DD.  I wouldn't say we feel "incomplete" right now though.  I would just say that we know we want to give her a sibling.

    I can't wait to take them both on vacations, the zoo, etc.

    But more than 2 really is just too much for me and DH.

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  • We are done after this one.  We knew we wanted 2-3 kids.  We told ourselves we'd take it one kid at a time.  Immediately after having DD we knew we wanted a second, and shortly after having DS we knew most likely we'd have a 3rd.  We had a bit of hang up on what 3 meant financially, how it would affect family dynamics of our existing children, etc, but we knew in our hearts a 3rd baby was meant to be.   DH is adamant there won't be fourth, and I agree with him.  I am enjoying this pregnancy, but I don't want to be pregnant again.  Also, while I am excited about having a newborn, I am aware that I don't want to be in the newborn phase much longer and I will be ready for the next phase of our family with everyone sleeping through the night.
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  • After this baby, we are done. We both love the idea of 2 kids and will be happy with that. So sure that I am thinking of getting my tubes tied during my c/s because I know for a fact that I am done.

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  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Nope, I always thought two would be a good number, but I just can't stand the thought of stopping at 2. We will definitley have a 3rd and if I can have things my way maybe a 4th.

    Do you know you want to have more children? Yes, I am 100% sure, DH may need some convincing if this one is a boy.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  I love our little family of three right now but no, it doesn't feel complete. We'll have to see after baby #2

  • -Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Yes, this is our last pregnancy.  We have two boys already.  The oldest is 4yrs old, and the second is 2 (3 in July).  We always said we wanted to have three kids, because two was just not enough.  In my family it was four...2 adults, 2 kids.  Which was fine, but I guess I wish my Mom had one more. My hubby was a family of 5.  We are hoping for a girl this time, but if not that's ok too.  We are very sure that this is it.  I told my DH that I didn't want to be well into my 30's taking care of a little baby. I want to enjoy my kids with the energy I have.  : )-Do you know you want to have more children?No.  No more kids.  I think three is just right. DH is going to get nipped.  : )-Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.   When it was just our two boys, I started to think that maybe that would be good.  But the DH was not convinced.  And we always said we'd have three.  I hope this third one is a girl, because then it will REALLY feel like we are done.  I think if it's another boy, I'll have that thought in the back of my mind of "If we have one more, maybe that will be a girl".  But, I don't think I want to deal with four kids.
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  • This is my 3rd pregnancy and SURPRISE...TWINS!

    We used clomid to get pregnant with our 2 boys so knowing that  we were thinking 2 was our number. I always had it in my heart to have 3 babies.

    Never did I think we would get pregnant on our own but we did and now expecting twin girls...so 2 boys and 2 girls is perfect for us...and our family will be complete!

    Life will be CrAzY for sure with 4 kids 4 and under but also know we are not given more than we can handle.

    You will know what is right for you!!

  • We will be done after this one. We always wanted two children and we are so happy it actually worked - I just turned 40. They'll be two years apart which we were also planning, and two girls. It feels complete to us.
    36 marathons since 2002, 6 Boston marathons, PR 3:17 Silicon Valley 2010

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  • This is my last pregnancy.  I always thought I wanted 3, but my DH always said he only wanted 2.  The more I think about it, the more I feel like maybe 2 is the right number for our family.  Plus, I am 35, I know that is not old, but if we waited 2 years and decided to try for another, I would be in my late 30s with a new born and that's not how I envision my 40's, chasing a toddler!

    Plus, this pregnancy is kicking my butt!  I think this has cured me of wanted to do it again, if you will excuse me now, I think I have to go and puke... 

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  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  This is my 3rd, but my son passed away so this will be my second living child. DH and I both wanted the have 3 children, and technically we will have after this one. But in my heart I think I want to have another one, I've always envisioned three siblings growing up together.Do you know you want to have more children? There is a chance that we may decide that two is enough to handle, but we still might have another if we think we can do it.Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  I don't think we feel complete yet, when we are we will know it for sure.
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  • image duhdaisy86:

    Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Yep this baby factory is shutting down after this one...This is my 4th pregnancy, but only 2nd child.

    Do you know you want to have more children? We always knew we wanted two...I really would like three but I will be happy with one of each.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  We always knew we wanted two kids...we figured we would have them be 2.5 years apart and be able to still keep up with them when we are 30. I will be 39 and dh will be 42 when DS Graduates from HS so it will be perfect!

     

    I am getting such a kick out of this comment!  You make 30 seem like 60!  Yes, I do have to use my walker most of the day but thats ok.  LOL.  

     

    To the OP, we have no idea if we are done now.  DH would like to just have the two but I wouldn't mind a third in a couple years.  We both came from big families and I love the camaraderie that having lots of siblings brings.

     

  • image beedale862003:

    Before we had DS we said we wanted 2-3 kids, then after him we said 2 just because we couldn't imagine loving another baby as much as him (we wanted him to have a sibling & new we would love another baby).  Now that we are developing a bond with this baby my husband and I are both thinking maybe we aren't done.  I like the idea of a family of 4 for vacations, and 2 parents 2 kids but don't want to rule out more children because of it.  So I just wanted to get your opinions.

    Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  

    Do you know you want to have more children?

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  

    Please share! 

    **lurking from 1st tri***

    This is our last pregnancy. We are very sure. We thought we were done last fall after having 2 girls but everytime I thought about it I got really sad. I talked to my DH about it and he agreed to try one more time. Now that I am pregnant I am confident that we are done and it feels right to me. We will either have 3 girls or 2 girls and a boy. Either way we are complete.

    Good luck to you!

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  • Let me start by saying this - DH and I felt the same as you before we had kids, after DS we couldn't imagine loving another baby but we too wanted him to have a sibling. We knew we would love another baby, we just couldn't imagine it.  So, to answer your questions:

     

    Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  I have VERY hard pregnancies. For this reason alone - we are considering having this be our last pregnancy. DS is very well behaved and it's hard getting through a pregnancy with him. I can't imagine TWO and being pregnant. So, we aren't positive but we are considering this our last, at least for several years.

    Do you know you want to have more children? No. I don't know if I'd like to have more or not. I love DS SO much! I always wanted a huge family. Now that he's here, I can't imagine having 3 or 4 kids. I love getting to do things with him, taking him out, being able to go on family vacations.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  Our family felt complete after DS. I really wanted him to have a brother or sister. My sister is my best friend and I wanted to give him this gift. I also had a desire to have another baby. I honestly can't tell you if we will have more after this one. Part of me gets sad by that, but part of me is ok. I've also always been very interested in adopting so that may be something we start looking into.

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  • Yes, definitely my last pregnancy (hopefully all goes well!). DH has already agreed to one more baby than he ever said he wanted. We agreed that DS needs a sibling. 3 would be way too many for us.
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  • hocushocus
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    Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  

    I'm 99% sure this is my last pregnancy. I have hard pregnancies. I never want to be pregnant again.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  

    Honestly I think if we'd only had one I would have come to terms with it. Two seems nice particularly because we'll have a boy and a girl but there was a time when I thought we'd try for 3.

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  • We are done after this. 110%. As in tubes tied on the table and then endometrial ablation as soon as possible.

    But that is because I have horrible pregnancies, am high risk for a myriad of reasons, have had more m/c than living children, just to name a few.

    If I got and stayed pg. easily and had a good time of it, I would want 3+

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  • We have one girl and one boy and after we had those two (kids are 15 months apart) EVERY one assumed we were done. "you have one boy and one girl, what more could you want?"

    So now our youngest will be 5 in May and we are pregnant with #3! We are so excited. And we always wanted more than 2. In the beginning we though 6-7... then after we had the two so close together we though... 4- max! so here we are and because of the age gap we are looking at this baby and then more than likely #4. I would say we should be done after that. But we shall see. I believe God really has it all in his plan. But that's what we are looking at.

    We def. know that we are not done and are ok with that. My family does not feel at all complete. and we've already gotten "wow... 3 kids... at your age? good thing you'll be done after this one...." which urks me to no end... that's a post of another kind :)

  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  I'm still unsure. I always wanted 4 and DH wants 2. I thought if this baby was another girl we would go for #3 but being it is a boy, I'm afraid DH will say this is it :(

    Do you know you want to have more children? I would Love to have more kids, but we will see how it goes with 2 first. I love big families.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  No it doesn't feel complete but it may after this one arrives, too soon to know. I always knew that I wanted more than one kid and would have had another sooner if DH was ready ;) But I think this will be a perfect gap.

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  • This is my 4th child. {6th pregnancy, 2 miscarriages.}

    Is this your last pregnancy? Yes. This will be it for our family!

    Are you unsure? I will never feel 100% because it's always been on my heart to have 6 children. But I would say I'm 98.9% sure that this is the right thing for us.

    Do you know you want to have more children? I will always dream for a family with 6 children. But I can honestly say I'm okay having 4.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby. To be honest, I do finally feel complete. I think mentally preparing myself that this is the last one has helped so much. I am cherishing every moment, knowing it will be my last. I will have 2 boys and 2 girls, and I'm not getting any younger, nor is our house getting any bigger. ;)

    Also in a weird way, I feel like I have been given my family with 6 children. It just so happens to be that 2 of my babies are angels. I believe there will be a day when we'll be a family of 8.

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  • I have 1 of my own and 1 SD....this is definitely my last pregnancy.  I've always wanted 2 of my own, but 3 will be just as nice (and we only have her 1/3 of the year).  We feel complete at 2 kids, but again, I really want my own 2 since there is such an age difference between my youngest and SD (7 years).

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  • This is my 4th pregnancy. I have 3 boys and a stepson. I was dead set on just 2 kids when I was thinking about having a family. I wanted a boy and a girl. I got my boy but after that we had another and another. We aren't overwhelmed at all. We get compliments on the kids all the time. We do have to keep a routine to keep things picked up around the house and financially we are good with just one income as I am now a SAHM. I had worked up until this pregnancy. We are definitely done after this one. DH really wanted a girl so we tried one more time. If it's another boy we are more then complete. Common, he has his own basketball team at this point =D. We couldn't have been more blessed and are lucky to be able to do this all over again.
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  • This will be baby #2 for us. We are up in the air about a 3rd. It's a wait and see kind of thing. When this baby is 2 or so we'll reevaluate.
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  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Likely Are you unsure?  Yes, I would like to have 1 more, but for financial reasons we cannot. Do you know you want to have more children? See above Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  I'm 24 weeks pregnant with DS #2, I may feel more complete after this one, only time will tell. 
  • Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  Yes.  DH will be getting snipped after LO is home & healthy.

    Do you know you want to have more children?  No.  I always said 2-3, MH always said 1-2.  This is our compromise.  LO will be it.

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  Once LO is here I will feel complete.  I didn't feel complete after DD was about 2.  Just took until she was 3 to convince MH we should have another, he was always on the fence.  Seeing her interact with some of our friend's LOs got him to see she'd be a good big sister.  Plus she started asking for a baby sister after her BFF got a baby brother.

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  • image beedale862003:

    Is this your last pregnancy?  Are you unsure?  

    Do you know you want to have more children?

    Does your family feel complete now or did it but after some time you decided you would love another baby.  

    Please share! 

    No, God willing, this is not our last pregnancy.

    Yes, we both would like more children.  We know we will try for #3 in a few years, if we don't wind up pg again before that.  We're Catholic, and will leave the number of babies we have up to God.  If that number is two or twelve, we'll be happy.

    Our family feels complete in some ways, and incomplete in others.  I've always envisioned a house busting at the seams with kids.  I think I would feel more "complete" if we had a girl (one of each gender).  Regardless, I'm content with what we have now, a year from now, etc.  (At least, I try to be... before I got pg I had baby fever bad! lol)

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