Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

So fed up

I'm so fed up with competitive moms! Honestly I did not think that the majority of my friends who are now parents are so competitive! I was teased that my 1 year old DS does not face forward yet in his car seat. Uhm, the kids barely 20 lbs and only 27 inches! There's no rule that I'm supposed to turn him around on his first birthday! Then there's him feeding him self. DS can pick up his food with his fingers, so he does not understand what the spoon & fork are used for. And apparently that's something else that I've got to "take care of". EXCUSE ME?!  Their kids are at least a year or so older than DS so WHY does he have to be on their same "milestone track"?!

 

I hate milestones!

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Anniversary

Re: So fed up

  • Sounds like your group of friends suck.  Sorry they're being like that.  I would tell them that you don't appreciate it, and if they're going to continue belittling your child and scrutinizing your parenting style, then they're not people you'd like to hang out with.  Hopefully, they'll cut it out.
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  • I know what you mean.  I was surprised to find friends constantly asking about DD's progress against milestones.  One particular friend wasn't even subtle.  She clearly wanted to make direct comparisons to her daughter all of the time.  It got to the point that I just wanted to get away from comparing our little ones at all and avoided hanging out with her.  I think it's okay to compare once in a while.  It gets out of hand, though, when you can't have a conversation with someone without reviewing progress against milestones like you're sharing some sort of progress report. 
  • It is irritating.  I have a friend who loves to compare our little ones.  The issue I have is, my ds is a preemie, and even has EI help in order to catch up, and she still compares him to her daughter who is 4 months younger.  I just ignore it, and let ds do everything at his own pace.
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  • Ahh, the mompetition.  I'm not into it, but I have friends that beam with pride that their kid is taller than mine (umm, HELLO, it's called GENETICS--I'm really short, you're really tall...duh!).  Sad to say, but I don't even ask friends about their kids milestones...and I've never looked to their kid during playtimes to see what they're doing/not doing either.  Is your kid fed? awesome. Is your kid thriving? terrific.  As long as they're happy/healthy, its none of my business if they're rolling, crawling, walking or how you parent them. 

    I think what bothers me most is when moms compete over parenting decisions- bfing/ffing, how/where your kid sleeps, rf/ff carseats, etc.  I've actually very much kept my parenting decisions to myself, not because I'm ashamed of them, but because they're MY decisions with MY child.  I've never advertised IRL that I bedshare with DD, that I still BF, that I use disposable diapers, or that I plan to RF as long as possible...bc it doesn't matter to me if your kid sleeps in your bed, if you give them formula, etc.  I've had multiple friends ask me what I think about the RF/FF thing (I'm the only person I know still RF my child over 1yr old), and I cringe because I just hate giving opinions.  They either A).Try to justify to me why they chose to FF (honestly, I don't ask...you worry about your kid, I'll worry about mine), or B). try to convince me why I should turn her around (she'll love it!  you can put a dvd player back there for car trips!--yes, someone said that to me...)

    I don't know when I got up on my soap box, but I'll be stepping down now...LOL

  • I think as a parent you just have to remember that you are your child's #1 support. Also that we know them better than anyone else. As a mom I always make what I feel is the best choice for my son, and I know you do the same.
  • Ew! As parents of older children they should know as well as anybody that all kids develop at their own rate.
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  • image MrsC17:

    Ahh, the mompetition.  I'm not into it, but I have friends that beam with pride that their kid is taller than mine (umm, HELLO, it's called GENETICS--I'm really short, you're really tall...duh!).  Sad to say, but I don't even ask friends about their kids milestones...and I've never looked to their kid during playtimes to see what they're doing/not doing either.  Is your kid fed? awesome. Is your kid thriving? terrific.  As long as they're happy/healthy, its none of my business if they're rolling, crawling, walking or how you parent them. 

    I think what bothers me most is when moms compete over parenting decisions- bfing/ffing, how/where your kid sleeps, rf/ff carseats, etc.  I've actually very much kept my parenting decisions to myself, not because I'm ashamed of them, but because they're MY decisions with MY child.  I've never advertised IRL that I bedshare with DD, that I still BF, that I use disposable diapers, or that I plan to RF as long as possible...bc it doesn't matter to me if your kid sleeps in your bed, if you give them formula, etc.  I've had multiple friends ask me what I think about the RF/FF thing (I'm the only person I know still RF my child over 1yr old), and I cringe because I just hate giving opinions.  They either A).Try to justify to me why they chose to FF (honestly, I don't ask...you worry about your kid, I'll worry about mine), or B). try to convince me why I should turn her around (she'll love it!  you can put a dvd player back there for car trips!--yes, someone said that to me...)

    I don't know when I got up on my soap box, but I'll be stepping down now...LOL

     

    you tell 'em! It needed to be said. It's like this whole parenting thing (to some people) is a full on competition! I'm sure it won't stop even when our kids are grown up and making their own decisions. You're right, the best thing I can do for myself is just make my conversations with them short and not about DS.

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