3rd Trimester

Boyfriend rant.

I am a hormonal mess today. I'm starving, I'm having some pretty painful BH that is making it difficult to move at all, I need to clean my house, and overall just weepy and emotional. All I ask my BF is if he would please empty the dishwasher and then fill it back up with the dishes in the sink. This was 2 hours ago. He just came out of the bedroom to pop a bag of popcorn and retreated back into the bedroom. Seriously, can nothing get done when I ask? I really don't want to do it, but I think he knows that I will get pissed off and just do it myself. My grandmother is coming over tomorrow and I would like just SOME help with getting the house cleaned up since he makes most of the mess! Asking to empty and reload the dishwasher is NOT that big of a duty!!! I'm the one that will be dusting and vacuuming the house, and cleaning the bathrooms, which is a task in itself because men apparently have no aim at all. ARGHHHHHH!
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Re: Boyfriend rant.

  • What a jerk.  If it were me I'd go back to the bedroom, steal his popcorn, and crash on the bed.  You and the baby need sustenance and a rest :)

    If he puts up a fight tell him he gets no food until the chores are done.  Give him a list if that would help, but don't let him get away with only doing the dishes.  At a minimum he should also get toilet duty.  

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  • image flutenewt:

    What a jerk.  If it were me I'd go back to the bedroom, steal his popcorn, and crash on the bed.  You and the baby need sustenance and a rest :)

    If he puts up a fight tell him he gets no food until the chores are done.  Give him a list if that would help, but don't let him get away with only doing the dishes.  At a minimum he should also get toilet duty.  

    I've already told him he is fending for himself for dinner tonight. I'm not going to make MORE dishes if he can't do the ones we already have.

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  • If I had company coming over tomorrow, and DH wouldn't help....God help him. Seriously. I do all the cleaning, if I ask for help (which I rarely do), I better damn well get it.

    Good luck. 

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  • My FI can be the same way sometimes.  Don't back down.  I used to and still do on occasion.  If we let them get away with things now it is only going to et worse once the babies are here.  Stay strong and dont do those dishes!
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  • What's so important in his bedroom that it can't wait until after the dishes are done?  Honestly, I would just go in there, tell him that they really need to be done and you'd appreciate it being done sooner rather than later.  I wouldn't refer to them as "chores" because if you both live there and are adults, it's housework.  You both need to contribute.  You get paid for chores...when you're 10.  Not an adult.  Obviously you can't force him, but maybe set a time that he needs to stop whatever he is doing so that it can get done. 

    Then at that time if he's still in his room watching tv/on the computer/playing video games, go flip the breaker to the room off.  LOL.  But I'm just a b!tch like that haha.

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  • DF used to be really bad at helping out and it pissed me off.

    So I stopped doing things for him, like laundry and let it pile up. He flipped one day when he had no clean uniforms and no clean white Ts. I looked at him as innocently confused as I could and said "I have whites clean. I wonder why you dont have any done? Did the laundry fairy forget you?" He got the hint and went and washed his clothes.

    Now isnt the time for that tho with guests coming tomorrow. I would go steal his popcorn or unplug the tv or whatever.

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  • I made a list for DH yesterday while he was working. He had a 3 hour window today between his classes and work. He checked a few things off the list while he was here.

    He usually watches TV during that window. But I think since I already had it layed out for him to see, it helped him motivate.

    We're not done. Definitely not. But I feel so much better that at least some of the things got done. And, he'll do more tomorrow.

    You could try that. 

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  • We have a maid coming starting tomorrow.  She will be doing the cleaning for the next two months.  We would not be paying this maid to do the housework that I won't be able to do after my C-Section if DH cleaned anything, ever.  If I ask him to help with anything, he acts like it is a huge chore, and he makes sure to look really bummed out while he is doing it.  Then, he goes and takes a nap b/c he is so worn out from helping.  It drives me crazy!!! 

    OP, maybe you could use the tube on the vacuum to vacuum up his popcorn, lol.  

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  • This is simple.

    Hide the cords that connect the cable to the tv, the internet to the computer, & the xbox remotes. 

    Then when he asks what happened "I know it's hard but try not to worry about it". (seriously where are they!) " I'm sure the cords will find there way back once the dishes are finished". 


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  • image lilmommalcw:

    This is simple.

    Hide the cords that connect the cable to the tv, the internet to the computer, & the xbox remotes. 

    Then when he asks what happened "I know it's hard but try not to worry about it". (seriously where are they!) " I'm sure the cords will find there way back once the dishes are finished". 

     LOL!!!  So funny!

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  • Thanks ladies! He came back out to throw away his popcorn bag, which was another big shocker to me, and I asked him again, and said I would load it again if he would put them away and make sure all his glasses and such were out of the bedroom. He slammed around like a spoiled brat, but he got it done. He even cleaned the litter box. Of course, now he's laying on the couch like he's just run a marathon or something, but it's better than nothing.
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  • image lilmommalcw:

    This is simple.

    Hide the cords that connect the cable to the tv, the internet to the computer, & the xbox remotes. 

    Then when he asks what happened "I know it's hard but try not to worry about it". (seriously where are they!) " I'm sure the cords will find there way back once the dishes are finished". 

    This is awesome. :-) 

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  • image htuzzi324:
    Thanks ladies! He came back out to throw away his popcorn bag, which was another big shocker to me, and I asked him again, and said I would load it again if he would put them away and make sure all his glasses and such were out of the bedroom. He slammed around like a spoiled brat, but he got it done. He even cleaned the litter box. Of course, now he's laying on the couch like he's just run a marathon or something, but it's better than nothing.

    You shouldn't have to bargain with him to clean his own damn house!

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  • My DH says he'll help and it never happens. So I came up with a solution. We're hiring a maid and he's paying for her.
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  • image mmarsac:

    We have a maid coming starting tomorrow.  She will be doing the cleaning for the next two months.  We would not be paying this maid to do the housework that I won't be able to do after my C-Section if DH cleaned anything, ever.  If I ask him to help with anything, he acts like it is a huge chore, and he makes sure to look really bummed out while he is doing it.  Then, he goes and takes a nap b/c he is so worn out from helping.  It drives me crazy!!! 

    OP, maybe you could use the tube on the vacuum to vacuum up his popcorn, lol.  

    Totally do this!!!

  • I've learned that I have to ask for something to get done at a specific time. If I ask to do something without giving a deadline, DH will get to it whenever. If I ask he do something within the hour, it'll get done. Try giving him a time to do it. If that still doesn't work, vacuum up his popcorn.

  • WOW!! This sounds like my house! There is nothing being done here either...my DH doesn't go to work until 4 pm so he's home all day. When he gets home at night he usually has the nerve to ask me what I did all day and why I didn't make dinner! All I tell him is...well the same thing you did before you went to work.
  • I know this is pretty radical, but have you tried having a sincere heart to heart with him - no sarcasm, no guilt trips, no threats - about what your body is going through and how things that used to be simple tasks are now difficult and painful, and how some help from him in certain areas during this temporary time will make life in your home better for both of you? Maybe you already have done this, but if not, he might just not get it. I've been shoving books and articles in my DH's face from the very beginning so he would know that I wasn't making things up to try to get more out of him, and he has been very helpful.
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  • If I remember correctly from your other posts, your BF has a history of being an ass, no? He sounds like a child.
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  • image biblionerd:
    If I remember correctly from your other posts, your BF has a history of being an ass, no? He sounds like a child.

    Yes, he does. But he was doing so well for a while there. Now all of a sudden he is acting like a big baby again. And me being in a bad mood is not helping at all.

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