Baby Showers

Do you call those who haven't RSVP'ed yet?

My MIL and mom are throwing me a shower April 2nd. My MIL was wondering if she should call those who haven't RSVP'ed or just assume they aren't coming but make enough food as if they were. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Re: Do you call those who haven't RSVP'ed yet?

  • Give it another week, then she can call.  It's still a little early.
  • I say call if if you have the time.  Just tell them say you saw they didn't R.S.V.P. and you just want to make sure you got the invite.


    Every party I throw it seems like very few people R.S.V.P.  most just show up.  My parents anniversary party I think 30 couples out of 65  R.S.V.P. yes.  The rest did not R.S.V.P we ended up with about 100 guests.  So out of 65 couples 20 showed up with out letting us know they were coming.  I planned on food to feed 120.

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  • If the RSVP deadline has passed, she can call them.

    I would rather call than assume they are not attending because there is always a chance that someone who hasn't responded never got the invitation in the first place.

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  • I figure a call never hurts. Her and my mom wanted the RSVP by date for March 19th (2 weeks before the shower) so they had time to purchase items to make the food and what not.
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  • tlxh7tlxh7
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    I would say she should wait until 2 days after the RSVP date (I'm assuming they put one on the invites), then call.  I wouldn't assume anyone was or wasn't coming.
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  • I would use pp's advice and call a couple days after the RSVP date has passed.  I threw a big surprise 60th b'day for my father a couple of years ago and was amazed by the number of people his age who didn't respond.  I mean, really?  I can see younger generations not abiding by etiquette, but I thought our parents and grandparents "knew better"!

    Anyway, call them.  Perhaps it'll make a few of them more likely to RSVP for the next event to save the embarrassment of the host having to call them.

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  • If you don't hear from them within the next week or so, I'd assume they weren't coming....but I'd make enough food just in case, (always better to have too much than not enough--and who doesn't love leftovers).
  • I really don't like wasting anything (including food) so I would call.  Besides she needs to know how many she needs to have seats for.  If there is an RSVP date then call the day after it passes.  If there is no date I would call about 4-5 days before the shower.  Just let let the people know you need to know to make sure you have enough food and seating.  I can't imagine having 40 people show up that never RSVP'ed (like the other pp said).  If they came to a shower/party I hosted they would be meal, no seat and no favor.  I don't make very much "extra" of anything (maybe 1 or 2 at the most).
  • image laura_belle:
    I wouldn't call.  If it isn't a plated lunch, you don't need an exact headcount.  I would be turned off if someone called.  Sure, it is rude to not RSVP 'no' but calling is akin to hounding you to come. 


    I disagree. You can be offended, but I think a polite phone call checking if you got the invite and then asking if you were planning to come is not hounding someone. If I forgot to RSVP, I'd appreciate the reminder.   

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  • My baby shower is also on April 2nd and in the invitation i put RSVP by March 19th, and of course, only 5 people did. My mom, who is throwing me the shower, is going to call the ones who didnt RSVP this upcoming Saturday.  I dont think its rude or anything, its simply a reminder :) We have a caterer so we most def need a head count, I would hate to waste any food!! Hope you have a great shower!!!
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