Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Am I crazy for turning down this job offer?

I posted about this two weeks ago, as I was going in for interviews for this job...

I've been at my job for almost 9 years, I'm the second in command in my office and I have total flexibility when it comes to vacation days (7 weeks), working from home (once a week), and 4 day work-weeks over the summer for the same salary.

The problem is that I don't make a ton of money. My husband and I do fine -- we own our two-bedroom apartment and it's not like we're poverty stricken or anything, but if we ever want to afford to buy a house I need to make more money.

I got offered a job last week that pays nearly $13,000 more than I make now, roughly $600-$700 more per month after taxes, which is a lot of money for me.  The problem is that I won't have the same flexibility and I won't be able to spend as much time with DD, or work from home whenever I want to.

I've been so stressed about this and I feel like whatever decision I make will be a mistake.  If I don't take it, I'll feel stuck in the same situation I've been in for a while and I'm afraid I'm ruining my only chance to advance my career. If I do take it, it means more money but I don't think I'll be happy not being able to spend more time with DD.

What would you do? Take it to get more money or turn it down and keep the job with flexibility but less money?  I'm 32 years old, in case that matters when offering advice.

I'm so stressed out right now, thanks for listening.

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Re: Am I crazy for turning down this job offer?

  • that's such a hard decision! you have to define what success is to you: advancing in your career/buying a house or spending more time w/dd right now. what will make you happier in the big picture?

    good luck w/your decision and keep us posted. 

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  • I don't think there's a wrong decision, there are just lots of options.  I can only speak for myself, but I put a great value on family time/free time.  That being said, sometimes I have to just bite the bullet and do what I need to so that I can provide for my family.  However, if I made enough to live what I felt was "comfortably" I would probably turn the job down and enjoy the time with my daughter. 

    Looking back at my own childhood, I have many many fond memories growing up and I don't even remember how small our home was (it seemed a lot bigger when I was a little one)  :-) 

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  • Wow, what a tough decision you have.  I am sorry you are stressed.  The ?old? me (before having a child) would have said take the new job and more money!  But now that I have a son I totally understand wanting to spend every second I can with him. 

    I have a flexible job currently too (not as flexible as yours but enough to make a difference in the amount of time I get with DS.)  I just think now that I have a child it?s really all that matters.  If you are able to live comfortably and not stress about making ends meet, I think I would stay where you are. 

    That being said, is there any way you can negotiate more with the new company?  Flex time, working from home, more vacation, etc?  Is there any way you can ask for a little bit of a raise at the current company? 

    Sorry, I really don?t know what I would do in that situation as like you said, it?s a substantial raise?.but my feeling is that our kids are not this small for long and every day counts!

    Good luck!   
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  • I'm 42 (if that matters Smile) and my thinking has always been that every decision you make in life will come down to 2 choices: time or money. I don't believe you can have both. What is more important to you at this point in your life: having flexibility with your time or earning more money? You say you and your h do fine so if you decide to stay with your current job, maybe you won't get a house as fast as you would if you were making more money but that doesn't mean you won't EVER buy a house. It sounds like you already know you want to stay with your current job but maybe you just want to hear that you made the right choice? If so, I say absolutely! You can't get back the time you have with your DD but there will always be more opportunities to make more money. Yes, really.
  • No I dont think your crazy. I found myself in a similar position last week. I work a 4 day work week right now with one of those days from home. I took a pay cut to do this. Last week I was offered the opportunity to redefine my role - take on more responsibility - make more money - and of course take on a 5 day work week. I also declined. I said that I was flattered and that in a few years our guys will be in school everyday at which time I may opt to take on a 5 day work week or opt to stay home...who knows? The bottom line is that I think if you are good at your job and continue to be so - opportunity will knock again and at a different time you may make a different decision. I think you did the right thing. Keep your toe in the water working and when and if you are ready you'll be able to advance your career once the kids are in school. Hope that helps and of course just my opinion.
  • If it were me, I would definitely keep the current job.  I left my old job of 9 1/2 years where I got to work from home twice a week to a job with no work at home days and longer hours/longer commute for more money (same awe want a house).  I regret it and wish I had the extra time with DD while she is young.  Like you, I wanted to advance my career but I didn't realize how much of a demand it is putting on my family. 

    Best of luck in your decision!!  Keep us posted.

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  • As a previous poster said it really comes down to time vs. money. Since you said you are fine financially I would stick with the current job.  I have a lot of flexibility myself and it really does matter when you've got a baby at home
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