Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Miscarried Last Night...

I found out I was pregnant earlier this week and after three days of happiness I started spotting and cramping. Then last night at about 1 in the morning I ran to the bathroom in pain and I started passing blood clots. I went to the dr. this morning and had an u/s done and everything major has already come out through the evening.?


I know this is a touchy subject, but how long does the hurt last for? As in the emotional pain. I only knew I was pregnant for a few days, and I was very early in, but I still feel really sad. And I kinda feel stupid for feeling so sad after having known for only a few days.?

Re: Miscarried Last Night...

  • Oh I am soo sorry! There is no way of knowing how long the pain will last. It comes and goes for most people. Just take it one day at a time, let yourself cry, be ok with wherever you are at emotionally. It will get better, but it is hard. Big hugs to you!
    missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • I just realized you live in Salt Lake City. Me too! Where about?
    missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • So sorry.   

    In response to your question.  Unfortunately, it depends. It is so personal.  For me it ebbs and flows.  For the first bit, I couldn't imagine moving on.  Then one day, I could - it was like the sun peeking out after a couple weeks of cloudiness.  It's been two months and while I have ups and downs and my body is not back to normal, I am feeling more and more positive as time goes on.  I think people whould generally agree that you will def have "moments" for a long time thou if not forever.   

    No reason to feel stupid for being sad.  It is sad.     


  • There is nothing to feel stupid about. First, your body is full of hormones and this will make you emotional too. Second, the moment we all see that BFP there is no way you are not excited, attached, nervous, etc. I am sorry for your loss, and hope things progress well for you. Best wishes.
    m/c#1 07/16/08 (11 weeks), m/c#2 10/10/08 (8 weeks). and then nothing since except every test possible (no answers). IUI#1 and #2: BFNs Super lucky to be buddies with Peetie. Our out of nowhere, surprise DD born 5/29/2011
  • We live in Magna, what about you?
  • We live in South Salt Lake. :)
    missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • I am so very sorry for your loss.  I don't think it really matters for how long you have known about your pregnancy.  Losing a baby at any point hurts.  You will probably hurt for a while, but you will get through this.  I found out I was miscarrying last Monday.  I'm doing MUCH better this week.  But I still cry, I'm still sad, and I'm still jealous when I see other pregnant women.  It just takes time.
  • I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to say how long you will be emotionally drained. Do not feel stupid for feeling sad. You have every right.


    3 m/c's

  • ((hugs)) I'm sorry for your loss.  And don't feel stupid for feeling sad.  It is only natural.  You lost you baby.  Emotionally it can take a while.  I noticed after 3 months it got easier and now that it will be 6 months post m/c in 8 days, I have come to terms with it.  But it has taken 6 long months and seeing a councelor to get all my feeling and fristrations out.

    These boards have been tremendous help.

    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14

    My Ovulation Chart
  • I am so so sorry for your loss.  Please don't feel stupid, it is an unfair and extremely painful thing to go through no matter how far along you are. 

    The hurt lasts for awhile ... but I think if you take it day by day, each day it gets a little better.  I cried everyday for the first week.  Then I cried just a few times a week for the next week or two and now I get sad sometimes, but it has become a part of my life ... of my story.  Its also different for everyone ... you might heal faster then someone else ... or it might take you a bit longer. 

    I'm so sorry.  *hugs*

  • It is okay to feel sad even though you were so early on.  A BFP is a BFP, and you were most likely excited before you even got that.  I am really sorry for your loss....it is different for everyone with how long it takes to be better and accepting of your loss.  For me I finally feel like I have accepted it (this week) and am dealing with it better.
    Two under two = fun and chaos!Baby Birthday Ticker Tickerimage
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so sorry, it is totally normal to feel so sad. From the moment you find out you have hopes and dreams for that baby. It just really sucks, but it does get better. Hang in there and be strong. Hugs
  • I am really sorry for your loss.  I have had two early losses - I am waiting for the physical part to start for my second one - and after my first one I felt the same way - I was not pregnant for long and I felt weird about feeling so shattered.  I have learned - there have been studies - that a very early loss is not just the loss of a potential baby for women - we feel the loss of the baby, the child that will never be, the teenager that will never be, the adult child that will never be, the grandchildren that will never be.

    So please do not feel silly - it is heartbreaking and the end of a dream - at least temporarily.

    You are definitely not alone.


  • so sorry for your loss.  i just found out this week also and it has helped me to talk to people about it.  I have learned that there are many people that I did not realize before that have gone through this.  They are the best to talk to plus people on here are great to vent to.
  • I am so sorry. ?Your pain is real and it is ok to feel sad. ?I was reading the other night that your emotional pain deepens the more closely attached you were to the baby. ?Even though it was only a few days, we all know the excitement and instant love that comes along with finding out you are having the baby you want so much. ?

    The pain does get better, but I don't think it will ever go away 100%. ?And that is ok. ?You've been through a loss and may always miss what could have been. ?My first loss will be a year ago next week and I had only known for a week, but it was devastating. ?Right now focus on ways to work through the grief and be kind to yourself.


  • I'm sorry for your loss. Just take it one day at a time. HUGS
    BFP 12/23/07, M/C 1/25/08 Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I miscarried this week as well.  We'd been trying for almost a year and a half.  I was only one week into knowing about the baby when we lost it.  I was surprised by the strength of my emotions.  It was worse that my husband was in another city, interviewing for a job.  I still get teary when I see a baby, but I'm trying to focus on tomorrow.  This was my first pregnancy, so the odds of our next one will be much better.  I just try to think about that.  Good luck to you and I hope things get better day by day.  There is no set pattern for grieving.  We all do it in our own way in our own time.  Maybe it helps that you're not alone.


  • First, I'm very sorry for you and your loss.

    Second, don't ever feel stupid for being sad about losing a child, no matter how far along you were. I lost my first at 8 weeks and I thought my world was going to end. It was a year in May and there are still times when I cry about it, even though I am now 31 weeks pregnant with another little miracle. There is no way to tell how long you will hurt, and you shouldn't put a limit on yourself. It's not something that you can just "get over"  It will get better in time, even though it doesn't feel like it now. I'll be praying for you.

  • I am so sorry for your loss.
    7 mm/c
    APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
    bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
    bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
    bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
    bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
    bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
    bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
    one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
    ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)
    bfp #9 - 9.23.13, our miracle baby girl arrived 5.29.14

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