Multiples

About to be on my own...

Alright MoMs, I could use any and all help and suggestions.  Tomorrow my babies will be 6 weeks old and we have had them home for 16 days...            But after this weekend I will be the only one caring for the two of them during the day. I have had DH and my mom helping me until now, and I am starting to get really bad anxiety about everything and I could use any and all help or advice.

And here are a couple of my questions...

I have been silly and allowed my babes to sleep in their boppies (while I was watching them) bc they have reflux issues.  And they sleep in their sleep sacks at night, now I cannot get them to sleep on the floor alone, which means I will never be able to get a nap in either!

And do you keep your LO's on the same schedule or feed one right after the other? I am worried about trying to get them to stay one the same schedule and feed a the same time, bc I would have to stop one and try to burp the other and hope neither of them spitup badly.

O and I EP, and they are on monitors for Bradys and Apnea for at least another 2 weeks.  TIA 

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Re: About to be on my own...

  • I'm confused about the sleeping in sleep sacks at night & then on the floor? do they nap on the floor? you can put them in sleep sacks any time of day... I think I'm missing something here.

    As for feeding, I really really stunk at simul-feeding but tried it (everyone has a different method but a lot involve sitting on the floor w/ them in boppies or on the couch with one next to you & the other in your lap or arm...) when I could and also would feed one and then the other frequently. It didn't take so long  to feed them after awhile so they were still really on the same schedule. If you know anyone who is home during the day or could stop by & see you if even for 30 min to help feed or hold a baby, take advantage of them!

    GL, it is intimidating but you can totally do it! I feel like I spent the first 4 months stuck on my couch between 2 boppies, only getting up to get all 3 of us food or to change diapers...but in reality, I rotated to the bouncy seats, the swing, tummy time, the activity mat, etc... it does get easier once you get used to it! Just know you can totally do it, you know what they need & some days will be better than others. Oh & sometimes, someone is going to have to cry. And that is ok!!!!!!!!!!! GL!  

  • Something that I've learned (and it works for me) I'm sure not everyone, is that sometimes the schedule has to go out the window.  The first month and a half I spent sooooo much time starring at the clock and watching their cues that I forgot to relax when I was able to.  For me, if they both get up together and make feeding them together work but I much prefer doing one at a time.  I try to keep them 30 minutes apart but if the second one isnt even stirring I know he's not ready to wake and I give him more time to sleep. 

    Have you tried to nap them in their car seats?

    Like PP said, know that you can do it.  You will do it cause you have no choice.  Then once it's over, you'll realize you're better than you thought you were.  :)

  • Unless both babies are freaking out, I feed them one right after another when I am home alone. Its more time consuming, but I find it much easier. If they both have to eat then I prop them in boppys on each side of me or I put them in their car seats.

    I hope you have friends and family close by because you really need to have the support. The next couple of months are going to be really hard and it is helpful to have someone check in on you each day.

    Good Luck!

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  • image groovygrl:

    I'm confused about the sleeping in sleep sacks at night & then on the floor? do they nap on the floor? you can put them in sleep sacks any time of day... I think I'm missing something here.

    As for feeding, I really really stunk at simul-feeding but tried it (everyone has a different method but a lot involve sitting on the floor w/ them in boppies or on the couch with one next to you & the other in your lap or arm...) when I could and also would feed one and then the other frequently. It didn't take so long  to feed them after awhile so they were still really on the same schedule. If you know anyone who is home during the day or could stop by & see you if even for 30 min to help feed or hold a baby, take advantage of them!

    GL, it is intimidating but you can totally do it! I feel like I spent the first 4 months stuck on my couch between 2 boppies, only getting up to get all 3 of us food or to change diapers...but in reality, I rotated to the bouncy seats, the swing, tummy time, the activity mat, etc... it does get easier once you get used to it! Just know you can totally do it, you know what they need & some days will be better than others. Oh & sometimes, someone is going to have to cry. And that is ok!!!!!!!!!!! GL!  

    When they nap in the day I have them in the boppies, bc I am awake and can watch them.  I only put them in the sleep sacks at night to try to get them used to the fact that this means night time and hopefully to get them to sleep longer.  I would like for them to be able to nap on the floor so that I could get a quick minute of shut eye here or there, but I have spoiled them in the boppies and they hate lying on the floor, not to mention they almost roll over all the way already (I know it is ridiculous how squirmy they are!)

    Thanks for all the advice and encouragement.  I might try the carseat idea, even though they say not to let them sleep in there, I think it is safer than the boppies for sure! 

    Photobucket Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Ahhhh....well I think you def need to come up with a differnet napping idea then so you don't feel the need to be staring at them all the time when they're sleeping!just try a pack n play or bouncy seats or the car seats (I personally never did that one, it made me more nervous than the others although I know many people do it). whatever gear you have...do you have a pack n play? Mine napped in there for pretty much the first several months of their lives b/c we had one (and then two for a bit until we did crib napping) in our family room so I could be nearby in kitchen, on computer, napping on couch, etc. 

    Do you swaddle? I swaddled for all sleep for a long time also... 

    it might take some adjustment but they'll get used to it and so will you ! GL! 

  • The first few weeks alone are stressful but you will learn what works for you. I let my babies nap in their boppies until they were about 4 months so I'm no help there. I was never a napper anyway so it didnt bother me. I almost always fed them together for two reasons. 1. 99% of the time they were hungry at the exact same time and 2. when they were younger they took so long to eat if I fed one then the other I would literally just be feeding them all day long one then the other. However I was never strict about schedule so if one slept later then the other I wouldnt wake them because if I woke them they wouldnt eat anyway.

    luckily my mom doesnt work and only lives 5 minutes away so I knew if I ever had a problem she would be there in minutes, so that helped ease my anxiety about being alone. plus she stopped by atleast a few days a week just to see the babies anyway. To tell the truth after the first 3 months I preferred to be home alone with them. I think they know when we're alone they seem to be much calmer when its just me. Once other people are around they seem to get much more demanding.

    Like all the pp said you just have to find what works for you. When other people ask me how I do it i always say "I just do" and you will too!

  • I will echo the others re: finding what works for you. 

    For some, sticking to a schedule makes everything easier.  For me, it was the opposite.  In the beginning, a schedule did nothing but cause me stress, because my girls never seemed to want to stick to a schedule.  So when they were hungry before the scheduled eating time, I felt like I was torn between meeting their needs and sticking to the plan.  After about a week of that, I dropped the schedule and did everything (naps and feeding) on demand.  Yes, I was going non-stop pretty much all day long.  But I was also MUCH happier and much less stressed, and my girls were happier too!

    My girls did a lot of sleeping in their bouncers when they were little.  I felt safe with them strapped in there, so I would nap on the couch while they napped in their seats. 

    Apart from washing bottles, pumping, and keeping the house sanitary, I dropped all expectations for a clean house.  When I did have a few minutes to myself, I wanted to lay down and rest--not feel like I needed to start sweeping.

    It is a lot of work and it is definitely not always fun, but you can do it!!  My DH went back to work the day after my girls were born so I was on my own right from the start.  I was intimidated at first, but then I learned that when you have to do something, you find a way.  You will be amazed by how strong and capable you really are.  Just do whatever it takes to get through the day, and remember to be patient with yourself and them.  This stage will be gone before you know it.

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